Moms, man

Had a big meeting today and my mom made me change my outfit FOUR times. FOUR. What am I, 13?? (I realize I didn't have to listen to her, but. Mom.)

At least the stress of this made me forget about the stress of the meeting. So thanks?

Someone pour me a martini

I'm supposed to bring dessert to a party this weekend, and randomly decided to make a Harvey Wallbanger cake. My mom used to make these all the time back in the day, so I didn't think anything of it. Then Googling a recipe, everything was like "70s era!" "vintage!" (plus it has booze in it...) - but hey. It seems very Mad Men to me, so what the hell. Bringing it back. (Apparently it was originally a drink - time to bring that one back as well!)

Bad Moms

The new screentime guidelines came out this week...0 hours for under 1, 1 hour for 2-4. Ummm Sesame Street doesn't count, right? Or looking incessantly at videos of yourself for hours? Or Snapchat??  (Yes, Georgie does all of these things.)

Sue me.

Bless this mess

Always fun at 6:30am when your kid grabs the box of Frosted Mini-wheats, shakes them open and sprays mini-wheat shards all over the house. It was seriously like a little snow storm - she had pieces in her ears.

But how was YOUR morning??

The bitch is back

So I am sort of loving Very Cavallari. I watched it last season and I'm still all about Jay Cutler (who is getting more hilarious as he drifts further into retirement and no-man's land), but I don't even mind Kristin anymore. Also, her body is ridiculous.

Plus it makes me even more excited about the return of the Hills. (minus LC :( )

A place of YES

Well, it was bound to happen - Georgie has learned the word "no." And she says it like we say it to her - very gently, "no no no." Sometimes while shaking her head. It's cute but getting a bit crazy.
"Will you give mama a kiss?" "No no no"
"Do you want to eat your raspberries?" "No no no"
"Can I put you down so I can go to the bathroom?" "No no no"
You get the idea. Terrible twos start earlier and earlier. (#yay)

Hallelujah

Every Easter, the choir at my church sings a resounding version of Handel's Messiah. Apparently they used to let "laypeople" up into the choir loft to sing along, and my wannabe soprano mother would go every year. Now the choir is so large they sit up front, so obviously no one else joins them. Except my mother. Granted, she didn't get out of her seat and go to the front. But she sang along, and sang her little heart out. Mind you, no one else was singing. I sort of looked down and shuffled a few feet away from her. But she had a grand old time and is already prepping for next year. Lord help us (literally).

I blame Delkus for this

Yesterday's threat of torrential rain and baseball-size hail caused a near panic - children left school early, we let people go home from work, grocery stores probably ran out of bread and milk (I kid, but only a little)...all for some thunder and rain around 2am. Oopsie.

Runaway Jury

Well, I didn't get picked, but I did get all the way to the "voir dire" portion. And I was on the front row, which apparently usually means you are getting picked. It was a cool process for sure (still glad I didn't get picked) - hearing from each attorney you could tell how they were going to argue the case (chiropractors are great! chiropractors are hacks! etc.), and it was all very Law and Order, Texas style.

This whole court is out of order!!

Well, no blog tomorrow because I am headed to jury duty. And praying I don't get picked. I feel like I have some options:

• show up in my pajamas
• develop some sort of "tic"
• tell them my uncle is a judge (this is actually true)
• yell quotes from A Few Good Men ("You can't handle the truth!")

Stay tuned...

NAPS FTW

May or may not have taken a nap on Saturday AND Sunday (an hour and a freaking half, btw) - when G napped, obvi. And It. Was. Glorious. I never nap, and I really don't know why. I guess I feel like I should take advantage of that time to get shit done, but MAN it felt good. #teamnap

Winter is coming, but actually it's basically summer

I might be the only person who doesn't watch Game of Thrones. I watched the very first episode, thought it was weird and very gory, so opted to go back to my Real Housewives. My poor mom is obsessed with GOT and even ordered HBO Go just so she can watch the final season. (I will take advantage and watch the rest of Big Little Lies)

Mother of dragons, blah blah

EYEROLLLLLLLL

I hid over 100 easter eggs around the office for employees to find. Three were special "golden" eggs that came with a prize. Apparently someone thought I was giving away Apple watches. Ummmm okay millennial. More like chocolate bunnies, okay? Sit down.

Holy high school memories

Going to see Indigo Girls Friday night! I saw them about 7 years ago, but every time it's like a flashback to the 90s and a soundtrack to my high school days. Closer to Fine? Yes. Land of Canaan? Ok. Romeo and Juliet? Yes please. And the best part? It will probably be all girls around my age in the sold-out crowd. Moms night out!

Mom of the Year

What do you put in Easter eggs when pretty much anything that small is a choking hazard? Cheerios!  #lifehack

Brackets shmackets

Sooooo who had UVA-TTU for the final? I have to say that UVA-Auburn game was CRAZY, and I mean you go Texas Tech. Why the hell not. I can safely say I will no longer be winning any of my bracket pools, but that's fine. Takes the pressure off.

It's the little things

...like figuring out that you can upload a giphy to your company intranet home page and it's super cute and moves and probably no one else even noticed but you do.

Cue the Law and Order music

Got a jury summons for April 16. Uggggggh. Someone told me I could go online and say that I had a child, and I would get released, but nope - they rejected it. So off to court I go. Please god don't let me get picked for anything. AACK

The tweenager in me is very happy

I found this nail polish at the drug store that you just peel off. It's glittery, so super trashy like I like, and then BOOM it peels off in one fell swoop. There is nothing more satisfying than that, so I am a happy girl (with very tragic nails).

Take THAT, scammers

I have received the social security scam recently - they have left several computerized messages saying there has been fraudulent activity with my social security card, and I am OVER IT. To the point where on my hour drive home yesterday, I called them 25 times in a row. A few times they actually answered and it was an Indian man. I asked to speak to his manager. He hung up. I called back and the call was ended. This went on for a while. He answered one more time and I asked to speak to his manager and again was hung up on. Then I guess they caught on and wouldn't answer my call anymore. But Jesus H it felt good to harass them like they harass other people. Assholes. :)

Maybe she'll be a vet...

This weekend Georgie met her first cat, her first bunnies and her first yellow lab. And let's just say it was love at first sight on all three. I mean OBSESSED love. Like following the cat around trying to get it to love her back. Laying her head on the dog. Laying her head on the cat. Laying her head on the poor bunnies to the point where I was afraid they were going to suffocate. (Laying her head on things is her way of showing affection. Especially to things that are soft and apparently living.)

She's nuts but I love her. At least she's not afraid of animals....