WFH

I am able to "work from home" once a week. I put it in quotes because working from home with a toddler makes getting anything done rather difficult. She can like smell me down the hall. She knows I'm there, doesn't understand why she can't open the door, and it's super hard to work when I hear her screaming for me. But working those extra two hours when I would otherwise be driving to work is GOLDEN!

Come to papa

Georgie has met her grandfather (my dad) before, but hasn't seen him since New Year's. Still, she immediately started calling him "papa" (he was hoping for "Grandpa") when he was in town this weekend. So if you're keeping track, she now has a mama, dada and a papa. Oof.

We also do this thing at night where we tell her who loves her. Mama, dada, papa, Elmo, Abby, Cookie, kids from her class...and bee. She has watched this Baby Einstein DVD like 5 times now with a bee puppet in it, and she loves it so much she just calls it "bee." So yes, the Bee loves her, too.

Parenting: the ultimate sacrifice

That face when you learn your father sold a car and your grandfather cashed in his life insurance to pay for your private school tuition. 25 years after the fact. (Granted, the car was one my dad won in a tournament and didn't need, but STILL.) Ah the guilt. And the feeling that I should be making WAY more money by now to make all of that worth while.

Tiny Techie

Within 5 seconds (literally) of being around a laptop, Georgie manages to pop off the letter D key and turn the entire screen sideways. Annoying, yet impressive.

The swim struggle is real

So we (I) decided to do this work summer party at the local minor league baseball field. They have installed a "lazy river" on the hill behind right field, and you get to go watch a game and have food and drinks (including beer and wine) and then float around if you so choose. The CEO will throw out the first pitch, and I think it will be fun - unless no one wants to get in the water in front of their co-workers. Which I totally get. I really don't, either. So now I'm thinking I will open it up to families because certainly kids will want to do it...I hope??

Peach Pit

I am VERY excited about the 90210 "reboot" - although really not understanding what it's about. (Who cares, tbh)

The funniest thing to me: Steve Sanders has aged the best out of all of them. THIS GUY.

Anti-dentite

Have I mentioned that I hate my new dentist? It's one of those chain places and I think all they do is try to convince people to spend money. Example 1: they insisted I needed the gum graft surgery on the left side of my mouth. I finally got it and went yesterday only for them to tell me I now needed it on the right. That's a hard pass folks. Example 2: they keep trying to pitch Invisalign to me. I know my teeth have shifted, but I'm not doing this either. And I heard them making the same pitch to the person in the room next to mine. I can keep saying "no thanks" all damn day (just clean my teeth people!), but methinks it may be time to find another dentist.

Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead

(Side bar: how great was this movie, and what a terrible title!)

Used a babysitter for the first time on Friday night - wild night of going to dinner and drinks with my mom (!!!!) - and it was sort of a total fail. I mean Georgie is fine, which is the most important thing, but...

We used one of the teachers at her daycare, Miss Dorothy, who Georgie absolutely loves. She was so excited and surprised to see her show up at the front door! My mom and I snuck out without her even noticing, she was so busy showing off all her toys. My mom told her to put Georgie down between 7:30-8, and by 8 we were finishing dinner. I checked the baby monitor and it was still bright as day in her room (I only have a camera in her room, which I may be fixing after this). My mom said, "we can't go home yet if she's still awake - let's go to Al Biernat's for a glass of wine!" So we did. And I kept incessantly checking the monitor. No baby. No baby. We turned on the sound. No noise. Where the hell were they??

By 9 I was in a near panic. Georgie had never been up this late. No texts from Miss Dorothy, so I assumed they weren't at the hospital. Had she absconded with my kid? No barks from the dog heard on the monitor - was everyone tied up in the laundry room after a home invasion?? Sped home and sprinted inside at 9:30 - to find Georgie sitting on Miss Dorothy's lap in the living room, reading a book. Apparently since Georgie doesn't go to daycare on Fridays, Miss Dorothy missed her so much she didn't want to put her to bed. UMMMMMMM WHAT?!

I begrudgingly gave her $60 but I doubt she will be babysitting again. Unless she can promise me she can actually put the baby down! What in the world.

Hell no we won't go

I really REALLY try not to delve into politics. But sometimes reality bites and you feel like you're living in some alternate twilight zone universe and you're praying someone tells you you're getting Punk'd but actually you're not...

This abortion shiz is out of control, guys. Why aren't they holding the men accountable? They were there too...oh wait I know why - because it's a bunch of men making these decisions. (Aside from the obviously senile female governor of Alabama - I'll address her at a later date)

It just makes me so angry. And terrified. I refuse to go back to the 1950s. I can't and I won't. As a friendly reminder, being pro-choice does not make me pro-abortion. It makes me pro-choice.
There. Done.

Moves Like Jagger, indeed

Guys this is Mick Jagger. From THIS WEEK. He is like 75.

Brief Baby Brag

We have taught Georgie to smell the flowers when she sees them; the other day I was wearing a floral dress and she came up and sniffed me.

My mom said she was doing laundry yesterday and Georgie was "helping" get things out of the dryer. She saw a pair of my workout leggings and started shouting, "mama! mama! mama!" - she knows my clothes!!

Okay sorry brag over. This kid cracks me up on the daily.

Just your typical family

So my mom's grandmother name is "Gaga." Georgie calls her "Dada." Doesn't even try to say Gaga. It's mama and dada. Ohhhhh lord. I personally think it's kind of amazing and hilarious, but I do worry about when she's in school and is asked to draw her mom and dad - and then what - draws her "dada" in a dress cooking dinner? (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Poor confused pup. Should be verrrrry interesting.

Mother's Day: starts and ends with poop

It was a Mother's Day to remember, that's for sure. It started Saturday night when, while eating dinner, I noticed my mom had something on her sweater. She looked at it, looked in Georgie's diaper, and realized she had an explosive poop that had ended up on her as well. Yay!

Then on Sunday, I took my mom and Georgie to brunch after church. We had reservations and requested to sit outside. There was another family next to us, and a grandmother and her grandson got seated after. The manager sat us and told us he would bring a high chair. We never saw him again. The grandmother and grandson were greeted and brought water, napkins, etc. As were three more tables that sat outside. Finally someone brought us a high chair. But no one asked if we wanted anything to drink. After flagging someone down, we ordered. I noticed the table next to us got a brunch menu and a kids menu. Neither of which were offered to us. Another waiter brought the food, plus food that we did not order, and still no napkins or silverware. My mom was seething and grabbed the manager to let him know. He apologized, got us some silverware, and said "Tiffany will now be your server. Bobby will NEVER be at this table again!" Then realized a waiter was behind him and said "I'm sorry - Justin will be your server!" First of all, who is Bobby. Secondly, it's your fault dude. By this point Georgie was over it, so I asked for to go boxes and luckily the manager did pay for our meal. (so yay - technically free brunch!)

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful until I was getting Georgie out of the bath. And realized she pooped in the tub. So....basically being a mom means you get pooped on. A lot. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

M-I-C...K-E-Y...

We're taking Georgie to the Disney store this afternoon for the first time. I fear we might not all make it out alive, especially considering her newfound obsession with "Mimi" (aka Minnie Mouse). Pray for us. And my wallet.

Promposal

Loving Prom radio on Sirius XM. This morning included "If You Leave" and "Get Ready for This." However, they do play "Macarena" way more often than they need to. Thank god that was after my prom year. #dealbreaker

You know you're old when

I am really loving my "new" (pre-owned) car. It gets such great gas mileage that I legit thought the gauge was broken. Why is it still saying "full??" Yay!

OMG HOW OLD AM I FOR CARING ABOUT GAS MILEAGE

The sweet smell of justice

My mom texted me yesterday that I had yet ANOTHER jury summons, this time for May 20. TWICE IN ONE MONTH?!?! What fresh hell is this?? So all day I stewed and steamed, and went home to take a picture of the summons to post on social media in the hopes of a lawyer friend helping me - only to find my MOM'S name on it. Hahahahahaha #karma

Beep beep!

What is it about buying a car that makes me feel like such a grown-up? I bought a car this weekend, and although not the first time I have done this, it still feels pretty cool to sign away my life. But I swear to god - can they not make the process a little faster? Three hours!! If there was a dealership that could get you in and out in under an hour, think how busy they would be! #justsaying

Also, it's my first rear-view camera. A girl could get used to this.

Picture pages, picture pages

Guys, my mom does the puzzle in People magazine where you find the 10 things different between two seemingly-identical pictures. Like in Highlights magazine when you were a kid. Does anyone else actually do this puzzle?? #smh

Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde

We seem to have hit the terrible two's - 8 months early. Which doesn't bode well for the ACTUAL terrible two's. I think it has to do with Georgie getting frustrated and not being able to express what she's feeling - so she goes with a tantrum because that's easiest. But LORD. The guttural sounds that she makes are downright terrifying. Good times!

Stockton Nail Salon

Not sure if it's impressive or completely impractical that I gave myself a pedicure at 8pm last night, slept on top of my covers so as not to mess them up, and honestly do this once every two weeks because I get bored of the color so fast.

Side bar: If Georgie doesn't let me cut her nails soon, I'm going to have to take her in and get her a French manicure. Those babies are SHARP.