Big D. Which stands for "disappointment"

Um how bad was "Most Eligible Dallas" last night. Really might not be able to keep watching. The only redeeming part for me was seeing places I recognized - Sfuzzi! Jasper's! - and reaffirming why I refuse to go to Teddy's.

I DID catch a glimpse of a photo from Hockaday Ring Day - anyone? The Drew Ginsburg guy's "fat" photo was totally Hockaday. Hilarious. But nothing else was very funny. (Except that most of these people conveniently work for their parents...)

Seriously - no WONDER I'm single, if these are the idiots who are roaming the streets. Sigh.

Life moves pretty fast.

Caught Ferris Bueller's Day Off at the gym yesterday. And I have a question. In the infamous "Bueller...Bueller..." scene, the teacher lists off about 10 last names that start with A. (Adams...Adamson...Adler...Anderson...etc.) Then the only B name is Bueller. And the next name is Fry. Why the hell does half the class have last names that start with A. Where are the Browns. The Carlsons. The Dunklemans. You catch my drift.

And perhaps I have too much free time.

My Nana, ladies and gentlemen!

My 87-year-old grandmother was the hit of the wedding this weekend. She danced up a storm, gave an impromptu speech "because she had something to say!" - and when someone complained they couldn't hear her, she simply turned to the sound guy (aka the groom, aka my brother) and said, "Well, turn it up!" - and even went around telling people who asked why *I* wasn't married, "She's NOT gay..."

Ah, Nana. Here's to 87 more years. Which she will probably live to see.

Guess they really ARE just roommates.

This is the funniest article I have ever read. Period.

http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmusic/news/bert-and-ernie-are-not-gay-sesame-street-rep-2011118

SOG, checking in. (That's Sister of the Groom, duh)

My little bro is getting married this weekend in Austin - woooo! Should be a plethora of pinatas (shout-out, Three Amigos) and good ole family fun. Cousins, step-brothers, past mailmen...okay maybe not that last one, but it should be quite the Stockton Family Extravaganza.

Plus the fact that my college roommate is in Austin and I'm hoping we get to meet up...

Congrats Cole and Chelsea!!

Concrete's a bitch

The walls of my new place are concrete. Which is great for sound-proofing (and since my old neighbors woke me up practically every night having sex, I really APPRECIATE sound-proofing), but not so great for hanging things. My mom's one job this week: hang things. And I have to give her a big fat A for effort. I now own all kinds of random adhesives and hooks and screws...none of which actually work. Industrial strength velcro! (Maybe I'll make one of those fly walls and get a trampoline and jump up and stick myself to it.) Mortar nails! Double-stick tape! (My personal adhesive of choice...) Liquid nails! And the list goes on. I think the staff at Lowe's knows her by name at this point.

It's very much a "how many blondes does it take to screw in a painting" situation. And apparently it takes more than two: we finally gave up and hired the maintenance guy at my apt to come and drill a bunch of holes. There's a "that's what she said" joke in there somewhere...

Just a two word blog post today.

BACHELOR. PAD.*

*I seriously can't get enough of this crap. Someone help me.