A time to get A/C

Watched "A Time to Kill" yesterday - love that movie. But what is UP with all the sweating. It takes place in modern times, yes? Do they not have air conditioning in Mississippi? (Of course, I really can't complain about a sweaty Matthew McConaughey.)

And we're back.

On Match.com, that is. I know, I know. I told you to slap me in the face if I signed up again. But seriously. There are No. Other. Options.

I do think it's amusing how my profile headlines have evolved over the years. And yes, it has been years. Oh the humanity.

Started out with something super lame like "Blondes DO have more fun." Oof.
Then I tried the humor approach: "This one time...at band camp..."
And then the guy-friendly movie line angle: "Damn glad to meet ya! (and yes, I'm quoting Animal House.)"

And the latest incarnation, which probably reveals the most about me as a person:
"Stop. Collaborate and listen."

Oddly, not bringing in as many suitors as one would think. Curses, Vanilla Ice. Curses.

I mean, he wasn't picked for his brains...

This recent tweet by Jake Pavelka will teach me not to follow these idiots on Twitter anymore: "Ok...headed to Alabama. What is Roll Tide?"

Sigh.

Congratulations! It's a....satchel!

I've been going to a lot of baby showers lately. Getting a lot of birth announcements in the mail. And I cherish every one - my refrigerator door is proof positive of that. But as a single girl, is it wrong to feel that my awesome new purse (above) might deserve an announcement of its own? Especially considering I have nothing else to put out an announcement about?

Here we go:

Sarah is proud to welcome this awesome Michael Kors purse into the family. It's name is Grayson (this is true: it's a "Grayson Jet Set Tote.") She is registered at Michael Kors counters around the city in case you would like to buy her the matching wallet or keychain.

Yay for our growing family!

I crack myself up. But seriously - I will be taking photos of this purse and putting them on Facebook. You think I'm joking.

Coug-ing it up

Tonight a friend is semi-setting me up with a young pup. (I say "semi" because it's a group happy hour, not actually a date - yay for less pressure and drinking!) I don't even know HOW young, but let's just say his demographic would be the 20-25 age group. Holy cougarness. Luckily, I work with youngsters, so I'm hip to their lingo and pop culture icons. And have learned that any 80s references will go right over their little heads. Sigh.

Thank god for alcohol. :)

Ready? Aim? FAIL.

Finally got caught up on this week's Bachelor Pad - good lord. They make all the girls wear the same white bikinis, paint a target on their backs, and then make the guys throw paint balls at the ones they think are the ugliest?? Where have I seen this kind of thing before?

Hel-looo, sorority rush. Just kidding. (Kind of)

But this is pretty harsh...poor little Erica Rose, who at an approx size 6 feels "fat" because she got pelted with the most balls (that's what she said). Maybe it's the tiara the guys don't like, Erica. Just spitballing here.

My new career: Onesy designer

You can't really read these, but they say "Feed me now," "Burp me now" and "Change me now." (And our company logo, Research Now, goes on the butt.) I'm sorry - these are good.