Up high? Like WAY up high?

 

Some people think this emoji represents prayer. Others think it's a high five. Holy dilemma (literally). Maybe it's both? A hand slap with God? Can I get an Amen? (high five!)

Nice save!

There are some very amusing "Tim Howard saves" images out there. For example:

 

If that doesn't get you into soccer, I don't know what will.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. Er, Den-match.

I closed down my Match membership earlier this month, and keep getting emails saying someone has commented on my photo! Someone likes my profile! Someone sent me an email! In the last six months, these things have happened like three times, and then somehow activity soars when I stop paying? Methinks this is a scam to get me back. It's not gonna work, Match. Fool me since 2005, shame on me. Fool me again in 2014? Shame on you. (Note: ask me again in like six months.)

The Bachelorette recap: Don't blame Iowa

It's down to the final three in the Dominican Republic (closed captioning provided by the DR Dept of Tourism). Andi is torn - she has three great, but very different, guys. Nick is so passionate and serious; Josh is so goofy and giddy; and Farmer Chris is so nice. (foreshadow alert!)

Nick gets the first one-one-one, complete with helicopter ride to a private island, where they make out and Andi asks about his break-up. Cut to more making out. (This part sort of bored me.) At dinner, Nick finally gets up the nerve to tell Andi what she's been waiting to hear: that he's in love with her. And "when you know, you know." So of course he will accept the fantasy suite, thanks Chris Harrison! More making out and the lights go dark. Nice.

Up next is Josh, who once again gets to play baseball with some local kids and with Andi, who once again wears teeny tiny shorts. Don't slide into home in those, girl. She likes how Josh is around kids, and how he is up for anything (i.e. the aphrodisiac he buys from some random in town). But can he be serious? Apparently so, because he too tells Andi he's in love with her, and also accepts the fantasy suite. A makeout sesh in the pool ensues. Well played, (ball) playa.

Finally it's Chris' turn, and they ride horses until Andi panics and they resort to chilling under a tree. And then playing another riveting round of Ghosts in the Graveyard (hide and seek to you city folk). Andi is worried about giving Chris the overnight date card (fantasy suite to you Bachelor folk) - I wonder why she would have kept him around if she had these doubts, but whatever. After an outfit change, they talk more about Iowa - could Andi live there? What would she do? What would Chris do away from Iowa? I dare say Iowa has never been mentioned more in one conversation - even by people living in Iowa.

Finally Andi breaks down crying, saying she can't blame Iowa - but she can blame Chris and their lack of a "foundation." The Farmer is stunned, but is such a gentleman, telling her not to doubt her feelings and he wishes her the best. Although later in the limo asks "what the hell just happened back there?" A good question, sir. And one you can explore next week in the Men Tell All. And hopefully on the next season of The Bachelor. #teamfarmerchris

Andi still has a rose ceremony with Josh and Nick (and two roses) - I mean, saying "I love you" doesn't necessarily mean they will accept the rose, right? Um, yes, yes it does. But god forbid this show should last for less than two hours, so lengthy scenes from next week's MTA and the finale ensue. Personally I'm excited to see the Pantsapreneur again. #pants

Hello.

Saw Lionel Richie Friday night, and it. Was. Awesome. I don't care if he's 65 - I would totally date him. (Bonus: I could be Nicole's stepmom!) He played "all the hits, all night long" - including my fave, We Are the World. I truly believe that my soulmate will be able to name all the singers (in order), just like me. #settingthebarhigh

I paid $35 for a "Hello" t-shirt that may never get worn, but I had to have it. He made jokes about his afro, the heat (I was really worried about him wearing a jacket the whole time - take care of yourself, sir!), and the various generations that were in the crowd (eight-tracks! cassettes! CDs!). We did get asked at least twice if we were old enough to know who he was. Dancing on the Ceiling? Duh.

Sidebar: he is worth like $200 million. Call me, Lionel. I'll say "hello."

Late bloomer. Emphasis on BLOOM.

Humble brag: I got three flower deliveries at work yesterday for my birthday. Considering I am single and none of them were from guys, I think that's fairly impressive. Granted, they were from co-workers and my mom, so it's not ALL that impressive. But a girl's gotta take what she can get.

Wait - it's NOT 1999?

As if I didn't already feel old today, this doesn't help:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/things-that-will-make-you-feel-truly-ancient

John Candy has been dead for 20 years?! YM magazine?! Le sigh.