Whoa

I admit it: I am guilty of watching Blossom reruns on TV. They've been on lately, and I got curious. Didn't remember much about it from the early 90s. What I learned? Aside from the ridiculous amount of hats and Joey "whoa's," there isn't much there. (Shocking, I know.) Most episodes are "A Very Special Blossom," which really doesn't happen anymore. Maybe because there aren't that many sitcoms taped in front a live audience anymore. But seriously. Must we deal with eating disorders/drunk driving/theft/addiction in a 23-minute show that somehow wraps up nicely by the end credits? Bizarre. If we're going to go there, give me 90210 any day of the week. #whoa

Spanx for nothing

This made the news yesterday. (And by "news," I mean US Weekly.)

Jennifer Garner's dress came up, accidentally revealing that (gasp!) she wears Spanx. I don't understand the big deal here - personally I find it refreshing that beautiful, seemingly perfect women wear them. It's the ultimate "Stars are just like us" feature. Hell - If I didn't find them so damn hot and uncomfortable, I'd be rocking them too! (I also try to steer clear of super tight clothes in which Spanx would be a near-necessity. Take a note, celebs.)

You can't sit with us.

Referencing Mean Girls here because I dealt with a Mean Girl yesterday at work. (it was actually a Mean GUY, but it just sounds better.) I'm captaining a team for our work bowling tournament, and have decided on the team name "Bowlerinas." Unfortunately for the team, it's all dudes. And me. And I will be buying pink tutus for all (and possibly getting to re-wear my black swan costume!). One tradition is to make posters promoting your team and stick them all over the office. I am no graphic designer and really can't even use Photoshop, but I managed to whip up this beaut yesterday:

 

 Clever, no? I thought so - until another captain came into my office telling me how horrible the posters were, and how little time did I spend on them?! WTMF, dude. It's a stupid bowling tournament. Who CARES about the posters. (Plus, I think they're cute!)

Just for that, I'm sticking him and his team way off by themselves in no man's land - the private lane area of the bowling alley. Because not only am I a team captain, I'm in charge of the Whole. Damn. Tournament. (That was very Hair Club for Men, wasn't it? "I'm not just the president - I'm also a client.")

#dontmesswiththebull #youllgetthehorns

 

Mane attraction

Women have emulated the hairstyles seen on big and small screens for decades. I give you:

The Farrah:

The Demi:

 

 

The Rachel:

 

 

 

And, I predict, the Gone Girl:

Saw this movie yesterday and I am semi-obsessed with Rosamund Pike's hair. That plus the brief Ben Affleck full-frontal, and this movie gets two thumbs up from me. #easilyamused

Baba Wawa I am not.

We're hiring a new position on my team, which means I'm having to give like three phone interviews a day. Even though I went to school for broadcast freaking journalism, I would not say I'm the best interviewer - they usually only last about 15 minutes, and I'm afraid I even ask what their biggest strengths and weaknesses are. #clichemuch

At least I don't ask "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" But I might start.

Ebola virus, day 2

So my 90-year-old grandmother is concerned about Ebola being in Texas, and has apparently come up with a plan: I am to grab 15 dresses and my dog and drive to Oklahoma before they "close the border" (?!), and my brother and his wife (who live in Austin) are to drive down to Mexico. I am then to continue on to Colorado to stay with my grandmother, and I guess my poor brother is just supposed to fend for himself south of the border. Buena suerte. #nanaFTW

Outbreak

So Dallas has Ebola. Or more accurately, one person in Dallas has Ebola. But from the reaction, you would think everyone had caught it.  Methinks people need to calm the eff down and get a flu shot.

#rantover