Alone again, naturally

So I went to a 6-hour "prepared childbirth" class on Saturday. Holy information overload, Batman. (Breech! Epidural! Meconium! Giant adult diapers! Etc.) I guess I'd rather have more knowledge than less, but jesus. Also fun? Being the only single girl in a class of about 25 other couples. And the husbands were all super-supportive: holding their wives' purses, getting them popsicles, picking up the handouts...oof. It wasn't too bad until everyone had to get up and practice the labor moves with their partners. I just sat quietly on my mat - and frankly would have found it too cheesy/dumb to do even if I HAD a partner. Maybe they all thought my husband was out of town or something. Sure. Might as well get used to it, I guess. #doublepopsiclesforme

Slow Jams 4-evah

Going to see Yacht Rock Revue tonight - love them so much. Besides the fact that they rock bellbottoms and leisure suits, they play slow jams from the 70s and 80s. Think Christopher Cross. Billy Joel. Hall & Oates. Etc. Cheesy goodness if I've ever heard it.

Strike a pose

Thanks to an introduction from a friend, I'm going to be in DFW Baby magazine's fall issue. (They spotlight 2-3 women who are having babies, and I'm one of 'em.) Now don't get too excited - it's one of those free publications and I don't even know where to find it or when it's coming out. But I was interviewed and yesterday the photographer came over to take my picture. It was very weird (and sad that I didn't get hair and makeup, ha), especially because I don't look that pregnant and the nursery isn't ready. So we'll see what the magic of Photoshop can do. Particularly with my forehead wrinkles. #imissbotox

Bachelor in Paradise recap: Twinning

God I hate the twins. I hated their reality show. I find them to be so very annoying. And yet...they're back. One wants to date Derek, the other wants tot date Dean. Both guys are taken, and even after literally throwing herself at Dean to an embarrassing extent, the twins have to go with their last choices, Jack Stone and Tickle Monster. But at the last minute, Jack Stone decides he would rather pursue his budding relationship with Scallop Fingers (I loathe myself for typing these words, I assure you), so bows out. The twins are livid - the only synonym they can come up with for "angry" - and flip off the cast and crew and storm out of paradise forever (please??), but not before throwing scallops out the window. I hope scallops are making a killing out of product placement on this show.

Jamie is also a new arrival - she of the nose ring, blond curls and oh yeah - bisexuality! Who will she pick for her date - girl or guy?? Oh, the tension. But she goes tame and chooses Diggy. He admits he has never met anyone like her. #duh

Derek is falling in love with Taylor. Robbie and Amanda seem solid. D-Lo and Dean are exploring life post-Kristina. And Daniel and Lacey are being weird. Coupling up is happening, and it's a good thing - Chris Harrison announces it's their last day in paradise!

#decisiontime

#onemorenightofthisshow

#thankgod

Bachelor in Paradise recap: there are tons of scallops in the sea

Anyone else never want to eat or see another scallop? Thanks, BIP.

Dean realizes he's being a total asshole and that Kristina saw him canoodling with D-Lo in the pool. He apologizes, but she explains that it's not fair to ask her to "be patient" while he tries to get with someone else. "I don't understand how I can have the most amazing girl in front of me and I'm flirting with another girl in the pool," says Dean. "Duh," says America.

More dudes arrive to complicate matters further (although these putzes don't really complicate anything): Blake and Fred, both from Rachel's season, both humiliated. Blake for having a catfight with Whaboom and saying "Wocka wocka fart joke"; Fred for only being seen as a bad kid. The ladies think Fred is hot, but Blake is not (aside from the intense amount of sweating he is experiencing). Blake narrows in on Christen, who is now in a "love square" between Blake, Tickle Monster and Jack Stone. Tough spot there, especially considering Blake tells her he asked her (after asking two other girls) because it wasn't like pulling teeth and she seemed "awake." Nice. She agrees to go on a double date with Blake, Fred and Dominique, but it's a nightmare because the boat makes her seasick (it made me sick just watching), her contact almost flies into the ocean and her mascara is running down her face. At least Dom and Fred are having fun on the blob.

Back at the resort, Christen apparently told people Jack Stone was a bad kisser, so the other girls pitch in to ensure America that he is in fact quite a good makeout. So he kisses Jasmine, Raven and D-Lo, all of whom are in agreement: #teamjackstone

Chris Harrison arrives to say no new arrivals, but the rose ceremony will be tonight, not tomorrow. This makes Jack Stone, Diggy and Tickle Monster nervous, since the girls they like are currently on dates with other guys. Robbie gets a date card and asks out Amanda, natch. (Barbie and Ken!) They hit a street carnival and Robbie cracks open the piñata. Chemistry is forming between these two pretty kids.

Ben Z decides to leave before the rose ceremony - he loves his dog the most - and everyone else starts fighting for time in an effort to win a rose. Diggy pulls Dominique aside for a little homemade game of "Diggin Deep with Diggy," and she then turns the tables with "Diggin Deep with Dom." Aw.

At the bar, Raven and Christen take a shot and Raven accidentally says "cheers to Scallops!" So Wells has to tell Christen that everyone calls her scallop fingers. She doesn't get why this is a big deal - she just likes scallops, guys. (And mahi mahi.) Christen then gets kissed by each guy in her love square, just to make the decision a little tougher.

D-Lo (and her weird rhinestone bra) tells Dean she likes him, but would he accept a rose from Kristina? Dean says he wants to pursue a relationship with D-Lo so has to go break things off with Kristina. The Russian is not amused and lets off most of her aggression on Raven, who tells her to be mad at Dean, not D-Lo. A fight ensues until Wells asks Kristina "why are you fighting for someone who's not fighting for you?" PREACH WELLS.

Time for the rose ceremony:
Lacey and Daniel
Taylor and Derek
Amanda and Robby
Raven and Adam
Dom and Diggy (bye Fred)
Jasmine and Tickle Monster
Christen and Jack Stone (bye Blake)
Kristina decides to leave and give her rose to no one
D-Lo and Dean

Doesn't seem like many of these couples will make it out of paradise aside from Taylor and Derek and Amanda and Robby...bur we shall see!

Gaspocalypse 2017

Okay, this "gas shortage" thing is insane. Most stations are out, the ones that have fuel have lines three cars deep. The most ridiculous part? There isn't a gas shortage! But when everyone in Dallas decides they need gas on the same day, we run out. It's putting my OCD-ness to the test - I usually panic when I have a quarter of a tank left. (I currently have a little under half a tank, but by the time I get home I should have a quarter of a tank.) I woke up at 2am wondering if I should go get gas and beat the rush, but also wondered if I would get shot. And it's just not worth it. Thankfully going out of town tomorrow, and maybe by Monday the panic will be over? Otherwise I guess I'll be working from home indefinitely.

#calmtheEFFdown

Reading, Writing, Arithmetic...and Rolled Eyes

It's back to school time again, which I know by the blinking school zones and by the inundation of photos on my Facebook feed. Everyone looks so cute and excited, but I do have one question - why do some schools start on a Thursday? After 3 months of summer, a 5-day school week is too much? Come on kids.