Argh. Kardashians 2.0.

Now Kendall and Kylie are making the news? Too many Kardashians. Too many "K" names. I can't take it. (and yet was oddly psyched that Kourtney was wearing a top I own in last week's episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami or whatever that show is called.)

I am such a hypocrite - if Kris Jenner were to call me up, say she was changing my name to Krystal and adopting me, I would be all over it. Sigh.

Again, challenged.

Totally thought one of the lyrics in that new Rihanna-Eminem song was "when the toenail meets the volcano..." Which I know makes no sense, but whatever. Last night I realized he's saying "when the TORNADO meets the volcano..." which I guess makes more sense? Doy.

I am challenged.

I've been trying to file the paperwork to re-finance my car after the lease is up. It has been an ongoing process since like early June. And apparently one page is too difficult for little ol' me to figure out. They have sent it back to me three times so far. Each time with more little Post-it flags and handwritten notes. And each time I manage to mess it up, I guess. Just got it again this week. I swear to God if I fill it out incorrectly again they'll probably just take my car away. Because I am too stupid to be allowed to drive. (And every time I think I'm doing it right! That's the scary part!)
Sigh.

Why is this HAPPENING to me?!

Ladies night. TopGolf. After an hour wait (but half-price drinks! Woo!), we kicked our golf skillz into high gear. Did we meet any boys? No. Did the guy next to us comment on my running man? You betcha. I believe his direct quote was, "No, you didn't." Yes, I did. The opening riff from Ice Ice Baby came on. But then it turned out to be Under Pressure. Still good, but not really running man-worthy.

M forgot to put her ball through the "doodad" (J's term), so the above image kept popping up on our screen. I couldn't stop giggling at the "Why is this HAPPENING?!" title. Picturing a guy whining to the front desk, "what's WRONG with me? What's HAPPENING?" And then it just went off on the typical tangents:

-it happens to every guy.

-it's totally normal. just relax.

-it's not you, it's me.

Hey - girls gotta make our own fun, you know what I mean?! M easily took the "best" prize, while J took the "accuracy" cup. And I won for best dance moves. Yay TopGolf.

No big surprise here

...but I bought this lipgloss a while back called "Huge Lips Skinny Hips." It claims to be a lip plumper equipped with hoodia, so you won't want to eat anything. Yes, I'm the ONE person that bought into it. And yes, I'm the first to admit it's crap. I'm starving. My appetite is not suppressed. (oh, and my lips are the exact same size.)

Lord I'm a sucker. Mmmm suckers. Lollipops. Candy. I'm hungry. Dammit.

Another tip for dudes on Match

Wait until the divorce is final, boys. I got two winks yesterday from guys who are "separated." Um, NO.

You really can't make this stuff up

So I met a guy Saturday night and gave him my #. He was saying it was his 21st birthday, which I knew was a lie - turns out it was his 29th. He was wearing a gold chain, but hey. Slim pickins out there.

He actually texted Monday and asked about getting together, so I suggested he meet me at happy hour last night. Which he did. Then I made the mistake of telling him one of my friends was a flight attendant, and he made a beeline over to her where he stayed for like 30 minutes. No biggie - didn't think I liked him, anyway. But friends were asking if he was on something - seemed a little too "wired" for 7pm.

Via text he had said he worked at Northpark, but I was thinking he meant like that general vicinity. Nope, found out last night he's a waiter at Maggiano's. And doesn't have a car. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but...I'm out. No "I'll meet you out after I get off at midnight" action for this girl. Oof.