Bentley SUCKS (and other Bachelorette commentary)

Another mind-numbing episode of The Bachelorette. Which I of course watched. And cringed through much of.

1. Particularly cringe-worthy: the entire dancing portion of the group date. And Ashley, arising onto the stage in a sports bra? REALLY?

2. William - who I so liked until he was bragging about his date and stealing time away during the cocktail party after he had a freaking rose already. Lay off, pal. Go back to selling cell phones.

3. Bentley - AWFUL. If you aren't into her, just leave. I'm sure she is watching these back and is mortified. I'm mortified for her.

4. Jeff, aka The Mask - seriously? Why is this guy still on the show? And the perfectly timed interruption during his chat with Ashley right before he removed the mask? Um, producer intervention, much? Sigh.

5. The poor mama's boy who called her after he got the boot - and even SHE was too annoyed and let it go to voice mail. Ha.

6. Not liking her game-playing with these poor saps: the near-marriage and the flip of a coin whether or not to give Mickey a rose? That's just mean, lady. If a guy had done that to me, I would have been like, "here's a FLIP for you!" And flipped him off. Could be a nice TV moment. Just sayin'.

You know what sucks?

When you think it's payday and it's not. And you have an entire long weekend before it is. Ramen noodles, anyone?

Like moths to a flame? Nah.

Long weekend plans include Top Golf, Hangover 2, Byron Nelson. Translation: I'm putting myself where the boys are. What they do from there is their problem. Actually, it's my problem, but let's just put the blame on them for a while, shall we?

Why does this bother me so.

The Biebs and The Gomez. When they smooched at the Billboard Music Awards, I cringed. And this photo doesn't ease the quease. (Potentially short for queasy? Let's see how it goes over.)
Maybe it's that he is 17? Maybe it's a little too Disney Stars Gone Wild? Or maybe I'm just a prude. But this weirds me out in a mayjah way.

Erm...

WTF is up with Solange Knowles. I mean besides the obvious. (Her sister is Beyonce, she's saddled with a kid and no husband, etc.)

But really? Not a good look, my friend.

Ghost of Hangovers past

You may remember Alan, my bobblehead who was Diane Esparza's love interest. Diane stayed at my last job, and Alan came home with me. Big mistake. (Huge.) You see, it's a talking bobblehead - he says three quotes from the movie - but the weirdest part is, he talks all the time. Even when his head is not bobbling. Like this morning, I was upstairs getting ready for work, and from downstairs I hear his booming voice going "You guys may not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolfpack." And it's so loud I almost jammed my mascara wand into my eye. So either my place is haunted, or it's just getting me all psyched up to go see The Hangover 2 this weekend. Either way, it keeps things interesting.

Tornad-oh no

So last night was pretty scary. Got home from dinner just in time to hear the emergency weather service announcement on the car radio, and upon checking the weather report on the TV, decided this tornado business was no joke. And once the sirens started going off, I decided to crouch in my stairwell. Sucks being single at a time like that - texted "Tornados!" to my mom. No response. Called her. No response. Called my dad. No response. Called my brother. No response. Seriously folks?? (My bro did call me back, however.) Thank god for Facebook. Keeping people connected in a natural disaster.

The baseball-sized hail sounded god-awful, and I was especially thankful for having covered parking. Apparently so were the HPHS punks who took over two of the spots in my complex with their ginormous SUVs. Um, your parents could actually PAY for any hail damage, kids. Listening to the wind/hail/sirens, I opted to move into a closet. And then the power went out. Awesome. Pitch black in a potential tornadic event. And I was in my pjs, make-up off! Not the best look should I wind up homeless and wandering the streets.

At that point I talked to my very-weather-conscious grandmother, who turned on the Weather Channel and talked me through it. She asked if I had a weather radio - um, no - which totally means this birthday will have a "Tornado Prep Kit" theme. Sweet.

All in all, made it through AOK and it certainly makes you count your blessings. And really want a boyfriend to keep you company. Or a dog. :)