Stop the presses

We're having a contest in my department at work for the funniest headline (unintentionally). Google searching brings up hundreds. As a journalism major, I am cracking up and cringing at the same time. For example:

What was your name again?

You know how people get Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton confused? I'm the same way with Peter Gabriel and Peter Cetera.  And Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney. (Apparently there's even an SNL skit about this, so clearly I'm not alone.)

From Aw to Oh No

There are two little lhasa apsos that live in my building, and every time I walk Charlie they bark and bark at her and she barks back. It's kind of adorable because they really seem like they're having a conversation. But the adorable-ness came to a halt yesterday when their owner, a girl probably my age or younger, emerged yelling at them and beat them both with a giant folded-up newspaper. Hard. Hard enough for me to hear it down on the street. And this happened both times I walked Charlie past the apartment. I sort of felt like I was in a Lifetime TV movie, watching animal abuse happen. I know it wasn't that bad, but I certainly wouldn't hit my dog with a newspaper. Makes me wonder if, rather than having a conversation, maybe the lhasas are crying out for help. Boo.

Preach it, Tina

There's nothing like listening to "You Better Be Good to Me" by Tina Turner on full blast in the car to really start your day off right.

And if that doesn't do it for you, watching Paul Rudd lip sync it should.

Reality Bites

So I got a call this week from a casting director, looking to cast a new TLC reality show called "The One That Got Away" (or TOTGA, as it said in the emails and will probably be the Twitter handle). She asked if I was single (um, yes) and said I was in the perfect age range for the show (I am not in the perfect age range for anything, so I assume she meant the network). But did I have "one that got away?" I mean, technically they ALL got away. And are now all married. So I had to decline my fleeting chance at "fame," but still kind of hilarious that I got the call in the first place...

Haterade

Took a "How Much Do You Hate People?" quiz, and was (not) surprised at how many things I checked off that bothered me. The one that made me laugh out loud (and I'm sorry, I refuse to use "LOL" - another of the myriad of things that bother me):

"When someone asks, 'Are there any more questions?' And then someone asks a question."

I mean YES. This happens all the time. The presenter is literally packing up their things, unplugging their mic, and someone asks a question. Greatness.

As bothered as I am by many things, this was my not-so-horrific result:

Shutterstock.com

You only sort of hate people. Sometimes. When they’re being the worst. And that’s perfectly natural. You don’t put up with any nonsense but you’re probably not a dick.

Following Vanilla Ice on Instagram finally paid off.

Because he posted this last night: