Please don't remake Friends (unless with the original cast)

I was reading about new fall TV shows, and noticed MacGyver, The Exorcist and Lethal Weapon are all on the schedule. Combine that with Hawaii 5.0, and you have to wonder if Hollywood has completely run out of ideas. I mean is nothing sacred?? I will say Designated Survivor is AWESOME. Jack Bauer can lead the country any time he wants.

39 going on 80

Just finished adjusting to the iPhone 6 (yes, I am behind the times - sue me), and now I'm trying to maneuver my way through the latest ios upgrade (10?). Sending a text just got 100 times more confusing. I'm too old for this. Just leave well enough alone, Apple. (and get off my lawn while you're at it!)

Shake what your mama gave ya

Best part of last night's debate? The shoulder shimmy. You know what I'm talking about. Go on, Hillary. GO ON.

I put the GRRR in surgery (if it was pronounced "surgrrry")

Survived the surgery, although I don't remember much about it (which I guess is the whole point of anesthesia, no?). I put on the stylish purple paper gown, purple socks and ugly-ass shower cap, and then they plugged my gown into this vacuum cleaner-like hose and said I could adjust the air - warm or cool. What in tarnation?? So that was cool. What wasn't so cool - my surgery was delayed like an hour, and the patients on either side of my curtain kept getting wheeled back. I was hoping no one forgot about me, and felt particularly bad for my ride, since she has three kids and I doubt she wanted to sit in a waiting room for six hours. But finally it was my turn, and after my doctor embarrassingly asked the anesthesiologist if he knew of any single guys for me, I was wheeled into the operating room and that's the last thing I remember. Until I woke up and ravaged a graham cracker. (Turns out not eating or drinking for 15 hours will do that to a person, although I was more aware of thirst than hunger.) Rested all weekend, and I'm feeling AOK aside from some bleeding here and there. And thanks to my massive hospital bills this year, this entire thing cost me zero dollars. Plus I have leftover painkillers to give out at Christmas.  Tis the season.

Paging Dr McSteamy

I have to go in for a little day surgery tomorrow - nothing major, but I have to go under. Which means I can't drive myself, and they won't let me take Uber. And therein lies the worst part about being single (and having no family in town) - I have to ask a friend to take me. And my friends are all busy with kids and jobs and husbands and well, having lives. (I did find someone to take me, but it was torturous to ask. At least, torturous to me.)

Also torture - the fact that my surgery isn't until 11:45am and I can't eat or drink anything after midnight. Do you know how long that is? And how hungry hangry I will be by then? And also thirsty?? Yikes.

The online paperwork was no picnic, either - "do you have a living will?" (NO - should I??) "Will your ride be staying with you for 24 hours following the procedure?" (NO - but I checked YES) NOTE: I've never had anesthesia before, so perhaps this is all just bupkis. But it's a little unnerving. Particularly jarring: the rule that I can't wear makeup. WHAT. I don't go anywhere without at least mascara, guys. If I'm going to die, I don't want to look like death beforehand. A teensy bit of mascara won't hurt, right?

On lockdown

I know it's a #firstworldproblem, but I find it super annoying when you go to the drugstore to buy something only to find it's under lock and key. And then it's nearly impossible to find a clerk to come unlock it for you. (Plus once they do you feel obligated to buy something!) I mean I get that razorblades are dangerous. But so are pills, and those are right there in the aisle for you...but why blank CDs and earbuds. Is there really that much of a shoplifting epidemic that we have to lock this stuff up? Sorry. Rant over.

I've really got to stop deleting phone numbers

Once again, I have accepted plans with a number that I don't know. Why must I continue to do this. Why can't I just say "sorry - who is this?" Nooooo. I have to accept and then show up hoping I will recognize someone in the crowd. Like some sad blind date. This will teach me not to delete numbers anymore. #godforbidishouldsayno