Best thing since sliced bread. Is sliced bread.

I haven't had bread since 2016. I don't eat bread all that often, but when you can't, you miss it. So last week I caved and bought gluten free bread and sliced deli turkey at Whole Foods. Toasted the bread and heated up the turkey (apparently not supposed to eat it unless it's steaming hot; whatever) - and let me just say, the resulting sandwich - while boring (I don't do condiments) - was close to orgasmic. I can't wait to have another one.

#sadbuttrue

Big hands I know you're the one

So apparently I have to stop sleeping on my back towards the end of pregnancy. (I typically sleep like the dead: flat on my back, hands clasped across my chest. And I don't move.) I have been trying to sleep on my side, but dammit if I just don't know what to do with my hands! I curl them under my chin/put them under my ear, and they fall asleep. I tuck one under my pillow; same problem. Maybe I'll just start sleeping in a big chair. Although I really could just start getting used to living on 2-3 hours sleep. Excellent parenthood prep. #problemsolved

Bachelorette recap: Rio-uh-oh

We start out in Dallas to meet Rachel's family. She switched things up since her sister is 8 months pregnant and can't travel, so all three remaining guys get to meet the parents. (Actually, parent - Rachel's father isn't there, and I can only assume it's because he is a judge and frankly doesn't want to be on this show.) Her parents live in Highland Park - of course they do - and I love how racially diverse they are.

Peter gets the first meeting, and it goes very well. Especially when he tells Rachel's mother he is not asking for her blessing to get engaged, but just to date her. Done and done. He does admit to the family that he's in love with Rachel, something she has also just learned. Good timing, buddy.

Eric is  up next, and he is sweet and sincere and so happy to meet her family. He tells his own sad family history, and I only cringed a little when he "axed" her mother for her blessing, even though "nuffing" she said was going to deter him. The family liked him, but were a bit perplexed at the fact that he had never been in love or brought a girl home to meet his family. Were they on the same page??

Finally, it's Bryan's turn - and he gets to meet up with two of Rachel's gal pals on the rood of HG Sply Co (nice choice!). They are impressed by his age and his no-nonsense answers. Not so much her family, who thinks it's all just a little too good to be true. She was his girlfriend on night one? He loves her family after one hour? A bit much, but this of course makes Rachel defensive.

She has lots to think about, but has lots of time to do so on the flight to La Rioja, Spain. Three men, three fantasy suites...ole!

Eric gets the first date, and they take a helicopter ride to the most beautiful old monastery overlooking the water. They make a wish and ring the steeple bell three times. Super romantical, especially when Eric's wish of telling Rachel he is in love with her comes true. He says love, he gets the fantasy suite. Bada bing!

Peter is next, and after being adorably serenaded by Vitorino of the Good Wine (not to be confused with Becky with the Good Hair), he admits to Rachel that he only asked her parents to bless their dating - and how does she feel about that? (Hint: not good.) Before she can answer, they are interrupted by an adorable little girl with flowers and then must stomp grapes a la I Love Lucy.

That evening, it's time to pay the piper. Rachel admits she wants an engagement, not a boyfriend. Peter says engagement = marriage and he just needs to be certain before they get to that point. Rachel begins to cry as they realize this might not be something they can get past. Is Peter a goner??

TO BE CONTINUED

Sometimes I miss having a landlord

When it rains, it pours I guess. Last week thought the dryer was busted (thank goodness it wasn't); this weekend the alarm went off twice in the middle of the night because after the foundation work my back door doesn't close properly; the oven is broken and now my A/C is only blowing hot air. (Perfect timing, since it will be over 100 this week!)

Thank goodness I have a home warranty which should cover the A/C and the oven, but seriously folks. Might just drive to work and keep on going.

Fake it til you make it

My second "Louis Vuitton" purse arrived this week. I put it in quotes because it's a fake from China. And it's the second one I have purchased. Now, even the fakies aren't cheap - $200 - but still much more doable than the real ones ($1200+). I will carry my Chinese bag with pride (until someone with a real one walks in - then I will hide it behind my back).

Game Set Match

I'm trying to be more involved in the country club to make friends make it worth the money, so I tried going to a women's beginner tennis class on Saturday mornings. But no one else showed up, so after one private lesson they cancelled the class. The only other one I can go to is on Wednesdays at 5:30, which I can only get to if I leave work at 4:30. (There are other classes during the weekday of course - as most of these women don't work.)

I probably don't need to be in a beginner class, but I like building my confidence back up and it's nice to know what I'm doing for once in a while.

Yesterday was hotter than hell (literally 106 on the court), but so fun!

Move that bus!

Started a bit of construction on my house, and my OCD anal need for cleanliness is suffering. First, fixing some foundation issues in the garage/driveway. Which apparently was so jarring on day one I thought I was going to need a new dryer. (Thank god it was just the breaker.) Next, we are transforming the garage into some sort of guest room/playroom/workout room/closet shenanigan and building a new garage behind it. Should be very interesting, especially when my mom suggested a "yard sale décor." Um, no. But it will be nice to have a little more space, assuming they finish at some point soon and stop tracking dust through my house. (Gives me anxiety just thinking about it. And yes, I know babies are messy. I'm working through it.)