My sea legs should be revoked

Went out on my friend Jill's amazeballs little boat yesterday. It's a vintage boat restored from the 70's, red with a white stripe and white leather seats...very James Bond/Charlie's Angels. I was loving life until we dropped anchor. In my defense, even Jill said it was a "rough" day on the water. My stomach felt the same. I managed to keep it together for a few more hours as we floated in the lake, although every time a wave would roll by my stomach would gurgle. Finally I had had enough sun (have a LOVELY burn today to prove it), and we started heading back in. But my stomach took a stand, and I puked five times over the side of the boat. Once in front of a group of about 25 girls and guys, who started cheering because I'm sure they thought I had partied a little too hard. Sadly, I was totally sober. And embarassed. Who gets seasick on a damn lake? THIS guy.

Reminded me of the last time I got seasick, on an ill-fated whale watch that I took my brother on when he visited me in Boston. Another "rough" day at sea (what is the DEAL?!), which meant they went out an extra hour in search of whales. Trying to be proactive, I had taken several Dramamine before we left, but started to feel bad about 20 minutes into the 5 hour (!) nightmare. I don't know if any of you have ever been seasick, but you really just want to die. There's no end in sight - I was praying we would hit an iceberg and sink, to be honest. So I made my way to the back of the boat, trying to get wind in my face. Leaning over the rail, I accidentally put my hand in someone ELSE'S puke. And....scene. I vomited like 7 times (including puking up the Dramamine tablets, still in tact) and then just sat down with my head between my knees. (My brother was passed out somewhere inside the boat, also feeling like death.) I remember finally hearing the captain say "there are some whales on the left-hand side..." and at that point I really couldn't have cared less. Dry. Land. Now. After what seemed like an eternity, we FINALLY docked. I swear some people cheered - everyone's faces were that sickly green. As I stumbled off the boat, I was behind an elderly couple. I overheard the man say, "Honey, would you like a t-shirt from the gift shop?" And she replied, "I want NO memories of this." Amen, sister. My brother and I LITERALLY kissed the ground when we got off.

So I probably won't be marrying into the Kennedy clan anytime soon, what with their affinity for sailing and all. Unless I can just wait patiently on shore, rocking a captain's hat.