Does Laguna Beach count?

Kristin Cavallari is putting her acting career on hold for her family. I'm sorry - "acting career?"

I'd say that's a strike.

Why do I love this so much.

Bowling ad placement FAIL:

 

Om

Not a big yoga person, but I agreed to go on a "hiking yoga" excursion yesterday. Aside from the weird stares we got while rocking Warrior 2 poses on the Katy Trail, it was really cool. And there actually was a little bit of hiking, although it should probably be called "trekking yoga" in Dallas. The only part that got me was the 3 minutes of silent meditation at the end. I will admit I checked my phone at that point. Namaste, indeed.

Friends, countrymen, lend me your sandals.

 

I have been on the hunt for knee-high gladiator sandals. Doubt I would ever actually wear them, as I have an aversion to flats, but for some reason, the obsession continues. I also refuse to pay over $100. Which makes it a bit more difficult.

 

So imagine my excitement to find these for only $48:

 

 

But only after clicking did I learn that these are in fact MEN'S sandals. Um, what man (besides someone in Biblical times or dressing up for Halloween) would ever wear something like this? What a waste of pleather.

POTUS and FLOTUS, meet DOTUS (Dallas of the United States, duh)

Pretty cool to have the five living presidents in town to dedicate the Bush Library. Even cooler? I don't have to drive anywhere NEAR the area today. Although I was secretly hoping to run into Clinton at Starbucks. Or at least a Secret Service agent.

Story of my life

I decided to apply for Ready for Love. Sent it in, and the next day heard the show had been cancelled. Ironic, I know.

Only thing better than Dove soap? Dove BARS.

I love this so much. Seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Where's Color Me Badd when you really need them?

Okay, Tori. Methinks you're a little confused on what decade it is. (Is it just me, or did Donna Martin wear this on an early ep of 90210?) The ripped (and cuffed!) jean shorts. The red cowboy boots (which my Footloose obsession may just let slide). And the (Chanel!) fanny pack?! My eyes!!
Think I'll focus on the cute baby instead.

Et tu, Reese?

This reminded me of THIS. And I love it.

Forging a trail

Took the dog on the Katy Trail Saturday afternoon. Learned two things:

1. Charlie is not now, and will never be, my workout companion. She lasted all of 30 minutes, and most of that time was spent sniffing around, not walking.

2. Due to the presence of the Katy Trail Icehouse (which I adore, don't get me wrong), at least half the people walking on the trail around 5pm on a Saturday are drunk. It's fairly hilarious, but someone is bound to get hit by a bike eventually. Just sayin.

And I call myself an 80s fan.

HOW have I never seen Less Than Zero? Kind of loving it. Baby-faced McCarthy, Spader and Downey Jr.? Sign me up. And don't get me started on the soundtrack.

If only

Heard that ABC is trying to convince (Masters winner) Adam Scott to be the next Bachelor. He's so cute, I would even watch golf for him. But alas - he has a girlfriend. Otherwise I would have come out of reality show retirement and applied.

Talk to me, Goose

On Tuesday, I was working on a huge project for the CEO, and he sent in changes to the presentation. A co-worker came over to get my thoughts on the corrections, and I asked if it was a long list. He said, "The list is long but distinguished." I said, "Just like my - " and stopped myself. Top Gun line or not, probably not fit for work. But he knew what I was going to say, so I guess that counts for something.

Name that tune

Does anyone else change the radio station/eject the CD they're listening to when they valet the car, lest the particular song be embarrassing? No? Just me? I do listen to some ridiculous music, so it's very possible I'm the only one. But it came back to bite me this weekend when a friend's husband kindly offered to move my car and came back in singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Because it was blaring on my mixed tape in the car. Oh the humanity.

I want my MTV

I was watching parts 1-2 of a six-part series about the 80s last night - good times. First of all, Rob Lowe provides the voiceover, so that's a good start right there. There was a significant section about the launch of MTV in 1981, and it talked about how small towns with cable got it before the big cities. (Wichita got their MTV before NYC!) I'm not sure when we got MTV, but I remember seeing it when I was over at friends' houses who had older siblings, and just not really understanding what was going on. Until I saw the Thriller video at my house. I guess I was about 7? At that point, kids at school were dressing up as Boy George and Madonna, so it became part of daily life. Too bad they don't play music on MTV anymore. Maybe for it's 40th (!) birthday in 2021, they should revert back to the old format. And bring back Martha Quinn, while they're at it.

Ballsy, K-mart. Ballsy.

Their new commercial is like an SNL sketch. In a good way. (K-mart?? Really??)

http://wxerfm.com/blogs/post/jfrieders/2013/apr/12/video-watch-new-ship-my-pants-kmart-commercial-tv-/

It's like a game of Would You Rather. With my life.

Not sure which is more embarrassing: the fact that I'm attending an upcoming Match.com "stir event," or that I had to print out my ticket to said event at the office, it didn't print out right away, and I found it on a nearby table which means a bunch of colleagues saw it.

Oooooooof.

They're going to have to start teaching this in med school.

I was skimming through US Weekly online yesterday, and an article about Ashley Tisdale's sideboob caught my attention. Probably because the word "sideboob" was in bold in the headline. I Googled "sideboob," and was amazed at how it has really become part of the lexicon. There are entire websites devoted to nothing by sideboob. Who knew that a wardrobe malfunction/lack of bra situation would be taking over the world? Brava, creators of the sideboob. Brava. I take off my bra to you.

Guess I should get it waxed

I was watching Katie yesterday (Katie Couric's show - why do I love it so), and she had on the matchmakers from Ready for Love (a new, Bachelor-type show that is fairly awesome). They were giving some great tips on where to meet guys (farmer's market!?), and then moved into tips for online dating. Basically, the what NOT to do's, photo-wise: no wedding pics (duh), no pics of you and a guy (could be misconstrued as a boyfriend, not your brother), no party pic (aka keg stands), and no facial hair on women. Meaning fake (hopefully fake) mustaches. Now, this one saddens me. Is that the reason I haven't had much luck on Match? Because of my amazing mustache photo? Nooooooo...


To be continued.

Brack-et, busted. (sung like "Tin Roof, rusted" a la B52s

After all my self-hype, my NCAA bracket pretty much sucked. Although I DID pick the ultimate winner, Louisville. Ended up coming in 18th at work, which means...nothing. The end of the college basketball season also leaves me with lots of weeknights free. Sigh. Maybe I'll get into golf? Probably not.

Hit it, DJ

My musical tastes are quite varied - which is one of the reasons I make such a mean mixed tape. For example, some upcoming concerts I am attending:

Barry Manilow
Ke$ha and Pitbull
NKOTB/98 degrees/Boyz II Men


Talk about a mega mix...

Buy me some peanuts and Crackerjacks

...Does the Ballpark even SELL Crackerjacks anymore? If so, they're probably like $13.
Today is opening day for the Rangers, and to get in the spirit, may I present this awesome song by American Idol alum Tim Halperin. (Not sure why I even know that, since I haven't watched Idol since like 2005.)

http://1037litefm.cbslocal.com/2013/04/05/tim-halperin-rocks-an-awesome-rangers-parody-of-thrift-shop/

Go Rangers!

Riders on the storm

I was reading an article about celebrity riders last night - who has to have all-white decor (J Lo), who refuses to eat brown M&Ms (Van Halen), etc. Rihanna requests a "thin" mirror. Love this. I'm right there with you, Riri. Skinny mirrors are the way to go.

More doozies:

1. Kanye West A rider leaked from Kanye West's recent visit to Australia. On the list: Imported and recut Versace towels, for starters. "What else would he wipe his brow with during a performance?" says Ray Rahman at Entertainment Weekly. But more unusual is his requirement that any chauffeur who drives him wear only 100 percent cotton clothes. "No man-made fibers."

2. Britney Spears
Britney demanded a veritable feast when she performed at London's 02 arena last year, requesting that the venue provide her with McDonald's cheeseburgers (no buns), 100 figs and prunes, and — fitting for the location — a fish-and-chips supper. But all that pales in comparison with her strangest dressing room request: A framed photo of Princess Diana. "Britney adores the monarchy," says the U.K.'s Mirror. "Diana was in many ways her inspiration."

3. Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters may have the most "hilarious" backstage rider of all time, says Simon Vozick-Levinson at Rolling Stone. The rockers are known for sneaking jokes into their list of demands, and topped themselves with a cheeky rider for their 2011 world tour. It included a coloring book, activity pages, and maxims for life: "No one likes a straight A student." The funniest page of the document provides an illustrated guide to the kind of catering the band expects. A drawing of a sandwich with a pile of rocks is branded "Lame Entree," while a steak and baked potato sketch is described as an "Awesome Entree."

4. Mary J. Blige
Thirty-five cities, 35 toilet seats. That's the takeaway from Mary J. Blige's 2006 tour rider, which demanded that each venue install a brand new toilet seat in the dressing room bathroom before she arrived. She also cherishes her privacy. Her request that housekeeping personnel at the hotels she stays at honor her "Do Not Disturb" sign is punctuated by 26 exclamation points.

5. Dustin Diamond
Don't call him Screech. The former Saved by the Bell actor turned reality TV and amateur porn star demands that any event he is booked for refrain from any "Screech-centric" billing. Any venue that violates this stipulation by promoting the event using his ties to Saved by the Bell will be levied with a $100 fine for every offending ad, flyer, or marquee.

6. Katy Perry
Kanye West isn't the only entertainer to have special demands for his driver. For her 2011 U.S. tour, Katy Perry had a 23-point "principle driver policy" that specifically dictated the proper behavior of those tasked with carting her around. One explicit rule, according to the policy, is that drivers must not converse with Perry. The Smoking Gun reports that they "also are directed not to stare at the backseat through the rearview mirror."

7. Justin Bieber
The current prince of pop's tour rider is suitably "squeaky clean," says The Smoking Gun, noting his reasonable requests for fruit platters and herbal teas. Apparently, he also requires his entourage's wardrobe be just as clean, as he also demands four packages of plain white tee shirts and three packages of lo-rise socks — all in various sizes — be stocked in his dressing room.

8. Jennifer Lopez
Just because she was making a charity appearance doesn't mean Jennifer Lopez was going to ease up on her diva demands. While attending a recording session for the African AIDS charity single "What's Going On" in 2002, she submitted her standard tour rider, which demanded a 40-foot trailer furnished all in white from top to bottom — flowers, tablecloths, drapery, couches, candles… everything. "Love don't cost a thing," says Gary Susman at Entertainment Weekly. "But being a diva sure can be expensive."

Knock on wood.

My bellybutton itches. Does that mean someone is talking about me? Or maybe I need a shower. :)

But it DID make me think about those superstitions. Found a doozy of a list:

• If your ears are burning, someone is talking about you.
• If you break a mirror, seven years of bad luck will follow. (done it. not sure this one is true.)
• If you drop a fork, a man will come to visit you. (done it. FAIL)
• If a bird flies into your house a death will occur. (true. probably my OWN death. eeks.)
• If you peel an apple without breaking the peel i.e. cut around the apple so that the peel is in one long piece, you should throw the peel to the ground and if it lands in the shape of a letter of the alphabet then it is the initial of the person you will marry. (WHAT?! buying an apple TODAY.)
• When you peel an apple say the alphabet and the letter that you are on when the peel breaks is the initial of the person that you will marry. (tried this many a time in third grade. jury's still out.)
• When your palm itches, you will come into some money. (false.) 
• Two deaths in the community will be followed by a third. (seemingly true - see celebrity deaths)
• Never say "thank you" when someone gives you a plant or it will die. (never had to try this - no one gives me plants. or flowers. humph.)
• If you spilled some salt, you picked some of it up and threw it over your left shoulder to stop bad luck from coming. (i do this one.)
• You never walked under a ladder or bad luck would come to you. (i try to avoid ladders at all costs)
• Hold your breath when driving past a graveyard. (i do this one too)

My precious.

A co-worker is going to propose to his girlfriend soon, and he brought the ring to work today. I asked to see it, and immediately slipped it on my left ring finger. He yelled at me to take it off, so I did, but I wondered - isn't that a normal reaction? No? Clearly I have no idea what to do when a guy gives me a ring. Maybe my involuntary reflexes just took over? Or maybe I'm completely psychopants. Either way - congrats to the happy couple.

Size DOES matter.

Girlie topic time: Why is that when you find a cute dress and it's a size smaller than you wear (or possibly have EVER worn), it makes it even cuter?? If I were a designer, I would label all my clothes a size smaller. Just for confidence sake.

Proud to be an American?

On the radio this morning, I heard a British girl group get interviewed. The host asked them to speak in their best American accents. One whipped out a Southern accent, one talked like a New Yorker, and one had a baby voice. Not bad. But the most depressing part to me was that they had clearly picked up these accents from reality television: Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo, Mob Wives/Real Housewives of New York/Jersey, and the Kardashians, respectively.

Not the best portrayal of our country. Although I'm fairly certain my attempt at a British accent comes from the Spice Girls, so I guess turnabout is fair play. Cheerio, y'all.