Bachelor in Paradise recap: The Ultimate Trifecta

Unbelievably, three couples got engaged last night on the BIP finale. After knowing each other for like two weeks. I mean more power to 'em, but I kind of doubt all of these relationships will last:


Evan and Carly. Let's remember, she puked after kissing him. But maybe they are weird enough to make it work. She has met his three kids already, and apparently they are moving in together in Nashville. Good luck on "happily evan after."


Josh and Amanda: He's a moaner, she's a mother, he's trying to improve his image and desperate to stop sweating. He has moved to Orange County to be with her and "loves" her daughters. I'm sure Andi Dorfman rolled her eyes at this whole exchange. As did I.


Grace (Grant and Lace): They are drama - lots of tears, lots of second-guessing, but in the end they have matching tattoos - so they gotta make it work. She has moved to San Fran to be with him, Here's hoping she left those crazy spider lashes at home.


Jen and Nick broke it off (obvi, as he is about to seek love on The Bachelor), and we get some fun updates about everyone else. Including Chad, who producers reassure us will never be the bachelor. #thankgod


Here's hoping for a triple wedding, but again I give these guys all about 6 months. For the sponsorship deals to dry up and for reality to set in. But I'm not bitter...


We survived Paradise! More Jorge next season!