Ancient. I am ancient.

Nothing makes you feel old like going to a college homecoming 20 years after you were in school. That happened to me this weekend at SMU. All I did for three hours was look around and gawk at how the girls were dressed. Like hookers, to be frank. It was BROAD DAYLIGHT and these girls were in skintight dresses that barely covered their asses, with over-the-knee boots like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. WHO WAS A HOOKER. Even saw one girl in a tight short velvet number (and thigh-high boots). Velvet? Again - it was 3pm.

Now, I'm sure these girls were looking at me with the same horror: "OMG that woman is so old! Look at her lame jeans and puffy vest - trying to be hip but SO NOT.

UGH