Butt-cuts are NOT rad.

My god, Bachelor Ben - you are grating on my last nerve. Please get a haircut and stop saying words like "rad."

To Courtney: Your lunatic skinny dipping antics and "winning" ways are equally annoying. Perhaps you two deserve each other.

To poor Emily: You're a PhD student - you should know when to fold 'em. Stop talking. At this point the only reason you are still there is because the producers are making him keep you around.

And to Elyce: not sure what went wrong there. I personally LIKED your "I've accomplished everything I want to achieve" speech. May have even used it myself. But, like you, I also did not get a rose. So perhaps there IS something there...

I don't know (cue the green slime)

Anyone remember the show "You Can't Do That on Television?" It used to run on Nickelodeon in the 80s and was fantastic. Super Canadian, and really just all-around super. Starring a young Alanis Morrisette and occasionally a young Ryan Reynolds (on the excellent tween "soap" Fifteen), it was always on when I got home from school. And for some reason I can't get it out of my head lately. I don't know why. (dammit - more green slime. Will I ever learn?!)

And in case you need a refresher: http://www.ycdtotv.com/

Moonshine makes you do crazy sh*t

I love the Donkey Punch at the Nodding Donkey. Particularly because the "punch" is moonshine. Which kicks in about 15 minutes after finishing the glass. My friend and I each had two glasses, resulting in my buying a Nodding Donkey t-shirt with the words "kicking ass" on the, well, ass, and my friend ordering homemade apple pie. At a bar. Which really got her quite a bit of attention from dudes. I guess it's true what they say about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach. Who knew. (Aside from people my grandmother's age)

Reading (email) is fundamental

Sent out an email yesterday to the employees at my office, raffling off tickets to see the Harlem Globetrotters at 2 and 7pm on Saturday. Asked them to respond if interested, and to specify which time they preferred. Of course there were a few who did not pick a time, which is to be expected. But my favorite came from someone who asked for the 5pm show. Ummmm.

Karma's a bitch

The idiots from NC State had themselves a little vandalism party yesterday:

But I think beating them 74-55 last night showed them a little paint won't bother us. Besides the fact that NC State isn't our basketball rival, anyway. Perhaps they didn't get the memo. Freaking Wolfpack.

It's the little things.

Is it weird that I love getting to work early because it means the toilets haven't been used since getting cleaned last night? There, I said it: a raised toilet seat makes me happy. (But don't get any ideas, fellas - this ONLY applies to clean ones. Otherwise, seat DOWN please.)

Bev 9-er forevah

I got sucked into watching some two-hour special about Candy Spelling selling the "manor." (And yes, it was called "Selling Spelling." Clever.) First of all, the mansion was ginormous - three gift-wrapping rooms, doll rooms, a screening room, gym, bowling alley, four two-car garages, tennis court, pool, etc. etc. Asking price: $150 million. It sold for $85 million to some 20-something heiress who, to Candy's dismay, immediately painted the inside black. Classy!

So the whole show is Candy categorizing her things, selling the dolls at an auction (which raked in $750,000! WTF!), and then "downsizing" into a penthouse condo which she was completely redoing - even picking out the damn marble for the countertops. Not at ALL a waste of two hours of my time.

But my favorite part came when she was walking her dog in the park, visiting with a former neighbor. And what did the millionairess have on? A Beverly Hills, 90210 sweatshirt. Complete with the logo above. FANTASTIC. Donna and David would be proud.