Game Show Network: my new obsession

At a friend's last night drinking wine and watching the Game Show Network. Not sure I even get that channel at home, but I'm certainly going to get it. Because following Family Feud was a very eye-opening show called The American Bible Challenge, hosted by none other than Jeff Foxworthy. (Is he changing his "you might be a redneck" to "you might be a Christian..."??) Teams compete for cash by answering Bible trivia. I would be THE WORST on this show. Would just keep throwing out "Abraham?" "Jesus?" "Nazareth?" That about sums it up.  Can I get an Amen?

Putting the wild in wildlife

The other morning I came back in from walking the dog, and the concierge at my building asked if I ever saw the BOBCAT that frequented our parking garage. Um, no. No I have not seen a bobcat. I told him that, and semi-joked that I better keep a close eye on my dog. His response: "If you're going to scared about anything, it should be the pack of coyotes that live across the street." WHAT. I live close to downtown Dallas, people - not out in the boonies. #texas

It's no Downton Abbey

I had not one, but TWO friends email me yesterday to ask if I was watching a new reality show about little people, "Little Women: LA." (Of course I am - it's set on my DVR.)

It was fascinating - the best quote of the night was "Dwarves do NOT move furniture!" - but the fact that multiple people I know saw the preview and thought it might be something I would be interested in watching makes me rethink some things.

Although to be fair, I DID watch a documentary on the History Channel, World Wars. So that should balance things out.

Bachelorette recap: "Stop, y'all! STOP."

The fellas, as Chris Harrison calls them, move into the mansion and start drinking bloodies and rocking hoodies as they prepare for the dates this week. Andi arrives wearing jorts and saying "y'all" to pick up Eric for the first one-on-one date, "love is everywhere." The date begins at the beach, where the two crazy kids build sandcastles and make sand angels. And then of course a helicopter arrives to whisk them to part two of the date, this time on a snowy mountain. And Andi is still in jorts and possibly barefoot. They change into snowboarding gear and get a lesson from a pro before going it alone. Eric is of course an excellent snowboarder; Andi, not so much, which she proves by falling and cursing the entire time. The date is "epic" and over tales of nearly getting killed in Syria, Eric secures the rose. He is so adorable and the whole time I'm cringing thinking about his poor parents and siblings watching this back posthumously.

Back at the manse, the group date card arrives: "Let's BARE our souls." This has the guys excited about getting bare nekkid and dropping trow. Boys will be boys, I guess. And BOY is this date fun: exotic dancing for "charity." (I'm sorry - "Bachelor Gives Back" is a little too broad for me to doff my clothes in front of a live audience. Gives Back to what?!) Some of the guys are a little nervous, and others are busy staring at Josh M's abs, but they all manage to pull it off. (Their pants, that is - hey-oh!) It's all very Magic Mike: firemen, soldiers, a pilot...and a robot. Poor Nick S. In what universe is a stripping robot sexy? More on that later. I was happy to see Sharleen (opera singer) and Kelly (dog-lover) hanging out with Andi - and what better entertainment than this.

Perhaps I spoke too soon - later that evening, Craig gets hammered (or, as Andi puts it, annihilated), and jumps into the pool with his clothes on. But before the producers can escort him home, he manages to ask Andi the most ridiculous question ever: "What's the worst thing about your parents?" To be fair, Andi did say he could ask her anything, but...cue the crickets. And the exit limo. Marcus gets the rose for being her Maverick. Two o's in Goose, boys.

Four guys are hoping to score that last date card, but when it arrives it's Farmer Chris's turn. They hit the Santa Anita racetrack and shockingly (or not) pick the winning horse. They chat with a couple of actors next to them who have been together 55 years and say they make a lovely couple. Clearly Andi agrees, because later that night they dance and have a serious smooch session. Chris gets the rose, even after admitting he had been engaged before.

It's Rose Ceremony time, and the guys who haven't had time with Andi are panicked. But none more than Craig, who knows he's on the chopping block so pulls her aside and plays her an apology tune (actually, there wasn't really a tune) begging to stay another day. Marquel is wearing the craziest shirt/tie combo I have ever seen, and Josh is so adorably tongue-tied around her that he goes in for the tongue kiss. (see what I did there?) He claims he hasn't dated anyone in FIVE YEARS. Doubtful.

But he of course gets the rose, as does everyone but Craig (guess that song played to deaf ears), Nick S (the robot) and Carl, who I did not recognize in those goofy glasses. You're a fireman, man - bare your chest! The end credits rolled over some fantastic robotic rapping and dancing from an exiting Nick S - probably the highlight of the night for me. And next week it's two nights in a row. #lordhelpus

Double vision

My dog got pink-eye (who knew?!) and I've been having to give her drops a few times a day. By day two the eye had cleared up so much I forgot which one had the infection, so it's possible I've been giving her drops in both eyes. #sorrycharlie

REALLY?!?!

Started chatting with a guy on Tinder Tuesday afternoon. The conversation continued into the evening, and then for two hours Wednesday morning while I was at the gym. He was very complimentary and easy to talk to, and invited me to get coffee yesterday afternoon at a Starbucks near my office. So I showed up, and he did not. After waiting for 20-25 minutes, I knew I had been stood up so opened Tinder to ask him WTF. And sure enough, he had already deleted his account. We never exchanged cell phone numbers, so I have no way to reach him. What a douchebag.

If any of you know a Matt, 31, divorced with a 2-year-old son, went to Highland Park and Texas Tech, knee him in the groin for me. Thanks.

Full circle, Bachelorette style

So I posted a picture of the "Pantsapreneur" job title on Instagram, and last night the pantsapreneur himself liked my post! Not sure why this made me so happy, but it did. #pants