Do not pass Go.

On Monday, my mom and I went to see La La Land (very cute and colorful, btw). We pulled into the parking garage in her giant Xterra, and she asked if she could go up instead of down. I said yes, but then noticed the big yellow height clearance sign said 5'8". "No way will your car fit under this!" I yelled. "I would barely fit under this!" But my mom, being my mom, decided to give it a go. And sure enough, the top of the car hit the yellow beam and it swung ominously for about 15 minutes, but we got through and it remained hanging. (Please note that I have personal experience with this, circa 2009, when I drove a U-Haul into a parking garage and the beam came crashing down, shattering the windshield. So I know these things are no joke.) After we parked (in a "compact car" spot, no less), we noticed all the signs. "No Trucks or SUVs!" "$50 Fine!" "Compact Cars only!" But clearly they didn't mean my mom. I was so nervous during the entire movie - we would most certainly have a ticket; would we still have a car? Would the windshield shatter on the way back out? When we got to the car, there was in fact a ticket on the windshield, but it was just a warning - probably because of my mom's Colorado plates. And although we once again hit the beam and it once again started swinging, we made it out of there alive. Can't say the same for the roof of the car, however.

Masterchef

This weekend I decided that it was time I learned how to cook some simple things - grilled cheese and French toast. (Yes, I realize that at 39 I should definitely have cooked both of these things before, but...) However, I eat healthy, so I decided to try both without butter. Perhaps this was my downfall.

The grilled cheese started out okay - bread cooked nice and evenly on the Pam-greased skillet. However, I also chose to use low-fat cheddar cheese, and it seemed so flimsy I put three slices on. Perhaps THIS was my downfall. The cheese never melted all they way through and I don't even like the taste of cheese so taking a bite almost made me hurl. Mental note: one slice is plenty.

On to the French toast. In this case I used skim milk and egg substitute (found a recipe online), but the bread was so wet it never cooked all the way through. I would like to blame the fake eggs, but I fear it was mere user error and maybe I didn't need all that milk? (But I followed the damn recipe!)

Sadly, I was unable to master either "easy" dish, and would probably give myself a C- on both. Guess I'll wait on attempting a soufflé for a bit longer.

This year has been brought to you by the grim reaper.

Seriously, 2016. I feel like so many significant figures from my childhood have passed away this year: Prince. George Michael. David Bowie. Alan Thicke. And now Carrie Fisher?? This one has hit my particularly hard. I mean, she was so hilarious and smart - her damn dog was named Gary Fisher, for pete's sake. #brilliant

I like that some guy has started a GoFundMe to protect Betty White until 2017. Probably a good idea.

Claim to fame. In my mind.

Been having some strange dreams lately. Yesterday I watched three out of the four Gilmore Girls "A Year in the Life." I have heard that the last four words of the last episode are how Amy Sherman-Palladino always wanted to end the show. Guess that was in my subconscious, because I dreamed that I did in fact watch the last episode and the last four words were, "Sarah Stockton made this!" That would be a cool, but very unlikely, ending. I won't hold my breath.

Nintendo musings

Why do I want the Nintendo classic so badly?? Probably because I never had a Nintendo as a kid and always wanted to play Super Mario Bros until I couldn't press the "jump" button any longer. And now it's only $60 but it's sold out everywhere. I did buy one off Amazon for $250 for our work holiday party (obviously where I will be putting MY raffle tickets), but there are several languages on the box so who knows what I actually bought. Still, it would bring back very fun childhood memories to hear that "ding" when Mario gets the gold coins. In case anyone is looking for a last-minute gift idea for me.

#shamelessplug

Call me crazy...

...but I simply cannot imagine White House staffers doing this to President Trump:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/davidmack/obama-snowman?utm_term=.juB69ookx#.ghl5vkkYm

In the first place, he'd probably tweet some anti-snowman rant. And someone would obviously be fired. Sigh.

Hooked on Phonics

We have this new food delivery service at work that offers a different restaurant every day Pretty cool concept, if you ask me. The problem: no one knows what the name is. It's "Foodsby," which most people are pronouncing "foods-bee." But apparently it's supposed to be "foods by" like "foods by Cowboy Chicken," etc. I guess either way, they're getting buzz, so it's working.