The two most hated words in the English language (for single girls)

"And guest." (Also see: "plus one.") I have to go to this big party at the zoo (!) Saturday night with work peeps, and of course was invited to bring a date. (cue crickets chirping)

I seriously have no one. Obviously not dating anyone, and I refuse to ask someone I barely know, simply because I don't even know these work people very well and that would just lead to awkward silences and probably too many free drinks. Which then leads to Sarah losing her job. (I feel the same way about inviting a random dude to a wedding, which explains the sad yet impressive statistic that in my 34 years on earth I have never taken a date to a wedding. Not ever. )

Wouldn't even really want to make a guy friend have to go, either - although it's an awesome band and the top 25 chefs in Dallas are doing the food, so I'm sure it will be semi-fun...So that of course leaves the trusty "gal pal." Which is STILL weird because technically we'll be sitting with and hanging out with work folks and therefore I probably shouldn't bust out my best robot on the dance floor. So after asking around, I have opted for my sweet co-worker. At least she knows these people too...

Of course, I bitch about trying to find the elusive "plus one" - but it's equally painful when you're NOT "and guested" - I mean, WHAT. You don't think I could FIND a date?? (I mean, I couldn't. But you shouldn't assume. :) )