Bachelor recap: balls rolling around and other adventures

We head to New Zealand, which Juan Pablo describes as having "lots of lakes and rivers." Reminded me of a third-grader giving a Geography report. The first date goes to Andi, and we see the First One-piece Bathing Suit in Bachelor history! (That's how boring this date was. I was focused on her bathing suit) They climbed through some very claustrophobic cave passages and wound up under a waterfall, with Andi wrapped around JP smooching him. When she said she hoped she would feel something later that night at dinner, I may have giggled.

Up next is the group date, and it's everyone but Clare. (gag) There is some serious foreshadowing with Cassandra, who is turning 22 (!) and always looks a little pissed off to be there. The ladies are all bundled up to have a picnic, but luckily all have their bikinis on underneath because JP takes them OGO-ing, which is basically careening down a steep hill in giant clear plastic balls filled with water. Good times. I know I personally think it's romantic when I puke on the guy I'm dating. Nikki confesses she is falling for JP, Sharleen basically confesses she isn't, and gets the rose anyway. JP pulls Cassandra outside and sends her home. On her birthday. That's awesome. Then there's a dramatic little montage of her driving away and Juan strolling in the rain. Jesus.

Clare's date starts off slow, as she asks JP for an apology for making her feel like a total slut. He sort of does, and it seems to appease her crazy for a while. They then change into sweatpants, which totally turns him on, and they dance embarrassingly and smooch a lot. She gets the rose.

At the rose ceremony, only one girl will get sent home. Chelsie is convinced it will be Kat; of course Kat believes Chelsie is a goner. She tries to solidify this theory by telling Juan Pablo about her drunk dad, but sadly he doesn't care and she gets the boot. Sharleen is oddly unsettled by this and looks like she wants to get the heck out of dodge. Foreshadowing, methinks.

Next week: Bienvenidos a Miami!!