I clearly have the word SUCKER printed on my forehead

Man these guys see me coming. And by "these guys" I mean the alarm installation guys. One showed up unannounced on Saturday to tell me that thieves scoured the internet to find out which homes had been recently sold (how these deviants are getting access to computers, I don't know), so I was verrrry vulnerable. He was even so kind as to point to the large windows facing the back yard where a burglar would enter. I flat-out told him he was terrifying me, but he didn't seem to care and bumped up my installation date to Wednesday night.

The guy came last night and continued the reign of terror, pointing to an app on his phone indicating how many burglaries had occurred and how many sex offenders lived in the area. (NOTE: not many sex offenders, so there's that) Long story short, what was going to be a $0 installation visit turned into a $377 full-service package complete with remote access and window sensors. Holy fortress, Batman. I am SUCH a sucker. Especially considering the nice retired man who lives across the street (and is president of the HOA and in charge of the neighborhood watch) called to inform me that a strange grey car was parked in front of my house and did I need help. Ironically, he was alerting me to the alarm guy. BOOM. Double protection.