I fought the lawn and the lawn won

Well, I attempted to mow the lawn on Monday. My sweet friends gave me their old lawnmower and even drove it to my house (NOTE: The Ford Mustang is cute and sporty, but a terrible choice when you are moving and actually need to drive stuff around.). Showed me how to use it (gas?? oil?? who knew?!) and I "mowed" the front yard. I say "mowed" because it really doesn't look good. Like a five-year-old who gives himself a haircut. Plus the fact that I don't own an edger or a weed-whacker or whatever the hell else I need. But still - I tried. And then I tried to tackle the back yard, where the grass is so long my dog gets hidden. Cut one swath and then the mower stopped. I tried restarting it a few times, cursed loudly (sorry new neighbors, but I mean get used to it), and finally gave up. At least there's one random pathway in the middle of the yard, right? Seriously. I'm calling a yard guy. #cryinguncle #wavingthewhiteflag #igive