Bachelorette recap: We have a winner! (And a loser)

And then there were two: Nick versus Shawn, vying for Kaitlyn's hand. Now it's time for the guys to meet HER parents - still in Utah, because clearly the travel budget is kaput. Kaitlyn being Kaitlyn, she tells her family how far she went with Nick, and then tells Nick she told them. Which of course makes Nick super nervous, and his already tight jeans feel just a little tighter. Plus, her family remembers him from Andi's season, and not in a good way, so he has a bit of explaining to do. But he wins them over with his charm, and Kaitlyn's father says he'd be happy to give his daughter away to Nick.

But wait - there's The Other Guy! Shawn must overcome being called jealous by Kaitlyn's family, but flashes his abs (or was just in my imagination?) and wins them over, even making Kait's sister downright giddy. He flat-out asks for her parents' blessing to propose, which they of course give. Top that, Viall!

Back in LA (again, where is the travel budget??) for the last two dates, and Nick and Kaitlyn spend the day making out on a boat. That night, he tells her he has a present for her in his bedroom. I'm not sure if the acoustics were bad in there, or if she thought it was a sexual innuendo, but she made him repeat this statement about four times. But all he had waiting was a picture frame holding a photo of them on their first date and a love poem spotlighting her lips. Cue more making out.

Then it's Shawn's turn, and the day date at a winery doesn't go so well, because Kaitlyn is all awkward and "in her own head." But by the evening she's let loose (via a top with lots of cut-outs) and is excited about Shawn's "memory jar" full of photos, golf balls, notes, and basically trash from their previous dates. (Totally reminded me of the box Rachel kept all of her "Ross dates" stuff in from Friends, but I digress.)

It's engagement day, and Neil Lane pays a visit to both guys. Nick makes a funny when he is reminded that the knock on the door last time was Andi dumping him, and he's so much happier to see Neil Lane at the door instead. (foreshadowing sigh) Both guys pick out nice statement ring-sized rocks, and head to the bachelor house to propose or get dumped on national television.

NOTE: They are doing this at the bachelor house. Not Bali. Not even Malibu. No - the wet driveway where this all began. C'mon, number crunchers. This is just sad.

Up first is Nick, so we know it's not going to go well. Again. Kaitlyn lets him get all the way through his proposal speech up to pulling out the damn ring box, and finally tells him to stop. I couldn't watch. So mortifying. She really had nothing to say except "oh, my god" and Nick was pissed. He was short with her, saying she didn't love him and he loved her for more than a moment and she took things from him (hey-oh). She countered that everything she felt and did (hey-oh) was real, but he wasn't biting it and wanted to get the hell out of there. He's 0 for 2, people. Ouch. In the rejection limo, he throws the engagement ring at the producers (thanks for nothing, Neil Lane!) and even takes off his Irish ring that he and Kaitlyn bought in Dublin and throws that at the producers as well. He feels like the world's biggest joke. Can't say I blame him.

Kaitlyn must dry her tears, because it's time to get engaged y'all! Shawn arrives looking dapper, and gives a very sweet, heartfelt speech about being in love with from the moment he saw her (even citing back to when she was kicked off of Chris' season). Kaitlyn can finally tell him he's the one (um, for the second time), and that she is HIS and ONLY HIS (not Nick's anymore) forever! Shawn tears up, gets down on one knee, and asks her to marry him. She says omg yes and he accepts the final rose. They are fairly adorable, to be fair and semi un-cynical.

After the final rose, they are finally able to be in public together, and they are giddy, Kaitlyn says she feels like it's Christmas morning. (Aw.) But there are still some issues to talk about. Namely, Nick. Chris brings him out by himself to ask about his previous relationship with Kaitlyn. (NOTE: He will ask the same question again, no less than four times, of a variety of different people.) Nick faces off with Shawn, and they can sort of put the past behind them, although I doubt Nick will be getting invited to the wedding, and Nick confronts Kaitlyn, saying she should have told him prior to his engagement speech that he wasn't the one, so he could save those words for someone else. Really? You're going to recycle the proposal? I do agree that she could have stopped him before he got so far into things, however - and even Kaitlyn agreed she would handle things differently.

No announcement about the bachelor, but media outlets are reporting it's Ben H, which I can certainly get on board with. Sorry Nick. Maybe the third time's a charm??