Bachelorette recap: Long live the Meathead

Last night we finally had some dates. And Chad finally had some meat. The first group date involved a series of firefighter tests, and poor Wells just couldn't hang. The guys joked that the gear probably weighed more than he did, which is fairly accurate. But Wells took it in stride, and almost passing out gave him extra time with JoJo (plus the group date rose, which I choose to believe is because he showed her a photo of his dog Carl). Grant, who is an ACTUAL firefighter, of course won the challenge, which pissed off Luke (who came in second).


Derek got the first one-on-one date, and it was like a "choose your own adventure" book, complete with "sky" or "sea" and "north" or "south." Their choices took them on a private plane to San Francisco, with a romantic picnic complete with views of the Golden Gate Bridge. Derek opened up to JoJo about his dating history, and after some smooches he secured the rose.


Back at the house, Chad needs to get a workout in, so fills his suitcase with protein powder and straps it to his weight belt prior to doing pull-ups on the portico. Alrighty. He and crazy Canadian Daniel are buddies, which they prove by wearing matching black wife-beaters. Alrighty, again.


Chad gets to go on the second group date to ESPN LA, where the guys compete in a few "sporty" challenges like a press conference and proposing to JoJo after twirling around 10 times. All the guys make sweet and goofy proposals, but Chad just says "will you marry me?" After JoJo asks why he wouldn't say what he loves about her, he calls her "naggy," which isn't the best word to use when proposing marriage. All the guys call him out on this, but he defends his actions, saying he doesn't know her well enough to be in love and all the other guys are liars. Just when we think he's a total douche, he opens up about losing his mother and inheriting her tiny dog, and he and JoJo share a kiss. His cold Grinch heart is starting to warm up, but the guys in the house aren't having it. James Taylor gets the group date rose, having come in first in the power rankings and giving a sweet letter to JoJo that makes her cry.


Before the rose ceremony, Chad waits outside the house so he can score more time with JoJo, which of course goes over like a lead balloon with the other fellas. Chase steals her away and makes it snow, complete with mittens, to show her more about him (he's from Colorado). Chad continues to steal her from several guys, leading Alex to confront him (along with some back-up dancers who Chad compares to West Side Story). Chad doesn't care what they guys think - he just wants some meat, guys. Someone mentions that he gives new meaning to the word "meathead," eating enough to feed an entire kindergarten class.


I do admit to giggling when, after Alex gets a rose, Chad says "JoJo only kept him not to piss off small Americans." (He is REALLY small, guys.) Chad got the dramatic last rose, meaning the hipster, the Bachelor Superfan and one other guy I can't remember get the boot. Next week is a two-parter and it appears Chad's steroids kick into high gear. #thankyougod