Bachelor recap: There's no crying on the Bachelor, but there IS choking

Bachelor Nick is cleaning house: he eliminated 6 girls last night. 6! With this kind of speed, we'll be done in a week. But first we have to get through this week...

Taylor busts in on Corinne and Nick, to let him know he's been lied to. She cites quotes from other girls in the house to build a case against Corinne, but Nick still sends her on her way. (And that's not even one of the six!!)

It's rose ceremony time, and Jaimi, Josephine and Dolphin Girl get the ax. I was sad to see the dolphin go, not gonna lie. Everyone left is thrilled to be off to St Thomas! Bikinis a-go-go!

Nick extends the first date card to Kristina The Russian, and she finally opens up about her painful childhood. She grew up with no food in the house, eating lipstick, was kicked out of the house at 5, ended up at an orphanage and got adopted at 12 to an American family. Damn. Nick is enthralled (as are we all), and she gets the rose. Na Zdorovie! (Totally had to Google that. Thought it was spelled "nastarovia." #fail)

Back at the hotel, Corinne is thrilled to meet the St Thomas version of Nanny Raquel, who is at the ready to fix C a snack, fluff C's pillows and steam C's dress. Guessing this woman is a paid actress, but it's effective. The group date heads to play beach volleyball, and it's a total disaster. No one wants to vie for Nick's affections anymore, no one wants to play volleyball, and once Jasmine shoves Corinne into the sand, it's game over. The women head to their separate corners to cry and sleep (Corinne). Nick tries to make amends in the evening, but Rachel is ready to go at any point, and Jasmine wants to choke him. And physically tries to. Bye bye, Jasmine.

The two-on-one date pits Danielle Boobs against Whitney, a girl I have never seen nor heard speak until this point. But we didn't miss much, because pretty quickly Nick gives Whitney the boot, flying off to dinner with Danielle. Boobs is giddy on the date, admitting that she's falling in love with him and is so glad they are on the same page. One glance at Nick's forehead sweat tells me they are NOT in fact on the same page, and he sits silently for an uncomfortable amount of time before giving her the boot as well. (And that's six, folks!)

The girls back at the hotel are freaking out to see both women's suitcases get wheeled away, and freak out even MORE when a sweaty, drunk, tearful Nick pops in. He says he's worried he won't find anyone, and maybe he can't even continue. And walks out. He is literally a human To Be Continued.

TO BE CONTINUED