I should come with a warning label.

Had a first date last night and he suggested we sit at the bar and eat. And what did I do? Spilled my ENTIRE glass of wine all over him. Sigh. I mean, at least it was white wine, but still. I blamed him for having us sit side-by-side. If we had been across from each other at a table like normal people, I would have just spilled on myself like a normal night. Oh. The. Humanity.