This episode of the Bachelor sponsored by James Cameron

Is it sad that the best part of last night's two-hour episode for me was the preview for Titanic: 3D? And what the hell with former bachelorettes and newly appointed bachelorette Emily going to WATCH Titanic: 3D? Hellooooo product placement. (Yet I remain excited and will no doubt be seeing this in the theater in April. Since I saw it no less than 6 times in the theater back in 1998. What's one or four more times.)

But back to the show. A few additional questions arose for me during this Swiss cheese-fest (see what I did there?):

Why do they ALL say "I wish you the best"?? No they don't. They wish Ben chose them. Which would be the best.

Why must we suffer through the super-cliched metaphors that the producers pepper throughout the show? "Our love is soaring to new heights" as they fly over the Alps in the 100th helicopter of the season. "Love could take you over the edge" as they "rapel" down a mountain. (I'm sorry - I have only been rapelling a few times, but I don't think it counts if you just hang there and let the poor guide lower you down.)

And why did poor country bumpkin Kacie go all the way to Switzerland (on ABC's dime - smart girl) just to hear WHY Ben dumped her? Yeesh. A double dump. Harsh, even for a 24-yr-old. And then she proceeded to warn him again about Courtney, which of course meant he would pick her to go to the finale. And then Kacie lay down in the hotel hallway. Which was probably my favorite part of the night (aside from the Titanic preview, duh).

Next week: everyone's favorite, the Women Tell All. Should be a doozy.