Head injuries and bobble heads and ostrich eggs, oh my!

Wow. Bachelorette. Back with a vengeance. Could these guys BE any douchier? And I'm sorry - Emily is beautiful (which Every. Single. Guy. Told. Her.), but she bugs. She's so quiet and boring - can't see her letting loose or telling a joke or anything fun. (And her teeth are still too big, but I digress.)

Now for the douches. I mean dudes.

Brent: honestly no clue who this guy was until he reminded us that he has SIX KIDS. WTF, man. Perhaps you should go home and be with them instead of going on a reality show.

Chris: BOBBLE HEAD!!! You all may remember Diane Esparza, so therefore I have a penchant for bobble heads. Personally I think this show would be much more interesting if acted out by bobble heads. You're welcome, ABC. This guy also seemed a little religious - I believe in his first 2 minutes with her he said he was blessed and that he prayed to God he would get to spend more time with her - but she seems like a good Christian girl so who knows.

David: Dude. You may be a "singer/songwriter" in NYC (aka waiter), but can you at least tuck in your damn shirt?? Buh-bye.

Doug: Sort of reminded me of Josh Hopkins (yay). Played the single dad card and probably wrote that letter from his son himself. But he got the first impression rose - well played, sir.

Jackson: "Fitness model?" Pass.

Jef: (yes, this is how he spells it.) The skateboarding wunderkind with the bouffant hairdo. Weird.

Joe: Curly hair and crazypants attitude reminded me of Bob. And not in a good way.

John: aka "Wolf." All you need to know.

Kalon: Douchetastic. Arrived via helicopter. And apparently went to SMU. Nice work.

Michael: Nice hair, bub. Didn't get a rose - obviously Em didn't like it, either.

Nate: Super cute. I even think that was Emily's comment. But kind of faded into the background.

Randy: Dressed up like a grandma when meeting her for the first time. REALLY?? What a shock that this guy didn't get a rose. So cringe-worthy.

Tony: Also fairly cringe-worthy. Put a freaking glass slipper on her foot?! Another single dad with a lot on the line.

Stevie: The MOST cringe-worthy. He's an MC, yo - so he's gotta dance in with a boombox. Why he got a rose, I have no idea.

Travis: The ostrich egg guy. Ah, props.

Charlie: Is this the one with the head injury/titanium plate in his skull? What does it say when someone with a head injury is one of the top candidates??

I'll tell you what it says - I will once again be watching this crap. Sigh.