D-O-U-C-H-E. Douche.

And that about sums up the spelling bee episode of Bachelor Pad. Would you like me to use it in a sentence?

We begin with an inconsolable Rachel, who acts like Michael (her partner who she is in LOVE with and just got voted off) is dead. "I don't know HOW I can go on," blah blah - careful hon. You might blow that nose ring right out of your head.

Then Chris Harrison announces that the rules are changing - again. Seriously? Never in my life have I seen so many different sets of rules for one game. From now on, they are competing - and voting - as couples.

http://youtu.be/a1Y73sPHKxw

So Rachel has to partner up with Nick, the only other guy without a partner. Who, as Sarah wisely states, "hasn't spoken since he got here." Should make for some exciting TV!

The top 10 board a school bus because...it's Spelling Bee time! Not their finest hour - these folks are more beauty than brains. Now, I'll admit that having to go back and forth with your partner, each saying a letter as you spell the word, is probably harder than it looks. And "boutonniere" is a toughie. But there were some verrrry creative spellings of words happening last night. "Titalait?" Really? I happen to have two spelling bee trophies (back-to-back champ in 2007-2008!), so I found this all a little sad. The Hogwarts-esque kid judges added to the fun though.

Sadly, the evil duo of Chris and Sarah successfully spelled "serendipity" (phew), and got to explore their budding romance (and talk about Emily) on an overnight date. Snooze. Ed and Jaclyn also got an overnight as the runners-up, which made for some dramatic moments when Ed admitted that he was seeing someone back home! GASP. (Well, sort-of: they broke up before he went on the Pad but he still had feelings for her...) Jaclyn, although devastated, somehow manages to pull herself together enough to still shack up. Atta girl!

They give their roses to Blakeley and Tony (nice hot pink shirt, btw), who then plot to kick off Lindzi and Kalon. Kalon does his creepy best to change it up and get Rachel and Nick out (and Nick helps in this process by acting like a total whackjob -perhaps best for him to not speak)...but it's Kalon and Lindzi who must leave the mansion at once. In a rare but sweet moment, Kalon leaps out of his limo to share a ride with Lindz - rumors are they're still together.

Who knew that love can come from the ridiculousness that is Bachelor Pad. Until next week...