Down with JPG, yeah you know me (Juan Pablo Galavis, duh)

I am liking Juan Pablo less and less - for one thing, his homophobic remarks; for another, his conversations with the women are a little offensive, shallow and chauvinistic to me. But he DOES look good with his shirt off....I digress.

We start off with a one-on-one date with Cassandra, the 21-year-old (!) single mom. A ride in a car/boat (been there, done that - shout out to the Boston Duck Boat tours!) followed by cooking dinner equals a fairly boring date. She giggles a lot, which I find annoying, and tells us no less than 5 times that she hasn't been on a date in three years, but clearly he's on board because she gets a rose.

Next up, the "let's kick it" group date. Which had me humming Ice Ice Baby for the rest of the program. Of course, to JP, "let's kick it" means soccer. So he pits the 10 girls against each other and each time they score, they do embarrassing things like pose for pretend paparazzi. Why. Poor Sharnell gets a ball in the upper thigh and on the cheek, but still manages to keep her stoic, bored expression. JP then pulls the girls aside for one-on-one chats, makes out with one in the vending area of the soccer stadium (ew), and basically makes each one feel like they will get the rose. Including Sharnell, who has a very awkward first kiss on the 50-yard-line. Which I know doesn't exist in soccer. The midfield? (It's been a while since I've played.) But the rose goes to pediatric nurse Nikki. Whatever.

It's Elise versus Chelsi back at the homestead, each vying for the last one-on-one date. 27-year-old Elise is convinced it will be her, because 24-year-old Chelsi is "a baby." When Chelsi gets the date, Elise proceeds to tell everyone in the house what a baby she is. Mmmm-kay. JP takes Chelsi bungee-jumping, leading me to think of the infamous parental warning "if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it?" No, no I wouldn't. And Chelsi didn't want to. But JP used his Latin wiles and messed with her head: "just do it for me." "Don't worry about what I'm thinking." And then won her over with "you don't have to do it." Yeah right - you don't have to do it if you want to go home...so they jumped off a freaking bridge and had an upside-down Spiderman kiss. Although since it was under a bridge and they were both upside-down, maybe more of a Batman kiss? And I believe JP was wearing jean shorts. Just saying.

They end the date with dinner and dancing with yet another obscure musician, and Chelsi gets the rose. She reminds me of Mary Lynn Rajskub:

The day of the rose ceremony, JP decides to kick things up a notch and surprises the ladies by showing up to cook breakfast. My favorite part of the entire episode was when Dog Lover came down to let her dog out, and was wearing pjs, glasses and no bra, and wouldn't let him see her face. Classic and so what I would do. And in classic dude fashion, he stuffed them with carbs and then demanded they all get in their bikinis for a pool party. Kat happily popped up on JP's shoulders for some chickenfights, which are always fun in your 30s. Clare and Sharnell shed some tears, and JP soothed them both, as only he can.

Lucy the Free Spirit (who carried out her Louboutin shoes! If she owns these shoes why isn't she wearing them?!) and Kristie (who has had zero screen time, but I liked her booty shorts) are given the axe. Meh.