El Bachelor, en espanol

Well, folks, it's that time again: JUAN PABLO. BACHELOR. A few highlights from episode uno:

"Juan Pablo" is going to get old after a while - can we not call him "JP" or something? Kind of surprised Chris Harrison hasn't already busted that one out, to be honest.

His daughter Camila is too cute.

His English isn't great. They add subtitles when he speaks Spanish - might be helpful when he's speaking English as well...

And now, for the ladies:

Nothing too embarassing about the limo entrances, although I did fast-forward through the "chemistry" experiment and the girl playing the rolling piano was a bit awkward. As was the girl with the fake baby bump - WTF. And of course the biggest question of the night: How does one get into the line of work of a "Free Spirit" or a "Dog Lover?" Because I'm very interested in both; maybe combining the two...

I have to give JP (or more likely the producers) credit for creating a dance party complete with photo booth - this is right up my alley.

The first impression rose went to the opera singer from Germany (!) who reminds me of Olivia Munn. The best part? She almost declined the rose! Man that would have been amazing. She doesn't like him and had a very long awkward pause when he asked if she would accept the rose. And he thought she was just speechless! CLASSIC.

Massage therapist in the gold lame gown: the massage was super creepy. She seemed to enjoy it more than he did. (and she didn't get a rose, so I guess that's accurate)

Redhead Kylie who thought he said her name in the rose ceremony but he didn't (and then got the boot) - embarassing. But way to show that redheads can wear pink!

The Crier from Oklahoma (there's always one) - so mortifying when she told JP about her broken engagement. You knew it was going to be painful when she said "I didn't want to start with this, but..." No shit, sweetie. Go with your gut. (No rose)

And miracle of miracles, both the Dog Lover and the Free Spirit (without shoes!) made it to the next round. It would be nice to have a dog running around...