Bachelorette recap: An "adrelanine" rush

Night one of the big two-parter down, one night to go. We kick off the evening at the lovely Bacara resort in Santa Barbara, and the guys are equally excited to move out of the mansion. Nick gets the first date card, and although he is doubting the process (which he tells us multiple times), he has a crush on Andi and tells her so. Aw. They go for a romantic bike ride and then hike to the top of a mountain - she is quite the active dater, that Andi - and a romantic dinner is next. She sees potential in Nick, and gives him the rose.

The group date might be the best thing that has ever happened in Bachelor history. The guys hang out with Boyz II Men (!) and have to perform "I'll Make Love to You" in front of a live (100% female, lucky for them) audience. They are all pretty psyched (especially Crazy Cody), and Eric admits to touching his first butt to this song in the 7th grade. Sigh. Sidebar: I too LOVE Boyz II Men. They still sound amazeballs. The Bachelorette guys, however, do not. Took this screenshot:

They were truly awful. All of them. Even opera man. Some forgot the words, leading the poor guys in the actual band to cringe. But it was still adorable and endearing, especially when they arrived in B2M-esque outfits (the cardigans!). Even Andi got up and sang a few bars. Afterwards, they de-boy band themselves and continue to vie for Andi's heart (and the rose, let's be honest). She tricks Cody by telling him she heard he has a girlfriend back home - because that's ALWAYS funny! Josh puts on a good act about continuing to be super nervous around Andi, which of course leads to a makeout. And the rose. Well-played, Josh.

The final date card goes to PANTS. Yes! It's a very odd date, but he's an odd fellow, so it kind of works. They get hair and make-up done to age themselves 50 years. Andi still looks pretty good; Pants looks redonk. Liver spots are not sexy, people. They cruise around in little motorized scooters, posing for pictures, and then get crazy and do cartwheels, pushups and other shenanigans that 75-year-olds shouldn't be doing. (unless they are my grandmother, but that's a story for another time.) Liver spots gets a smooch on the tire swing, and they clean up nice for dinner. It's kind of like Back to the Future in reverse. Great Scott. Pants is wearing stellar pants, as usual, and admits to being insecure about being quirky. Oh, pants. Andi finds him endearing and encourages him to let his freak flag fly, so gives him the rose.

Meanwhile back at the manse, Ron gets a personal call and learns that a close friend has passed away. He decides he must abort Mission:Andi and gets the heck out of dodge. Andi leads a toast "to Ron!" before the rose ceremony, and tensions start to grow between the remaining fellas. Eric gets cock-blocked (his bleeped out words) by flowers that Nick has sent to Andi (ouch), and Pants and Josh corner Andrew (who looks a LOT like Pacey from Dawson's Creek) about getting a waitress' phone number a few nights ago and bragging about it to all the guys. Pacey gives an eat-sh*t smile and simply goes upstairs and shuts the door. Because that doesn't make you look guilty.

Andi gives out roses to everyone but Operaman and Brett the hairstylist, who I don't believe has said one word since he arrived. Andrew gets the last (dramatic) rose, and I find myself praying that Eric gets one because it literally means he will survive another day. Boo.

The final credits roll over a montage of guys singing "I'll Make Love to You," and it's cringe-worthy and glorious. More dramz tonight...