Bachelorette recap: Mimin' and stealin'

It's sad how much I missed this show after last week's pointless recap. (A recap after only four episodes is pretty pointless, FYI.)

We find ourselves in beautiful Marseilles, France. Andi has never been to France - not sure why she wouldn't opt for Paris, but comme ci comme ça I guess. Andi meets up at a cafe with Chris Harrison, who asks if she is falling in love. She gives him her Andi-ism, "STOP!" No, you stop.

The first one-on-one date goes to Josh, and they sail to the Calanques, a gorgeous rock formation where making out is achieved. Andi remains hesitant, since Josh is a (former) athlete, even going so far as to compare him to Juan Pablo (ouch!). But still they make out and dance to Ben Folds. Wait, no no - Ben Fields. Whoever the hell that is. Josh secures the rose. No big surprise there. He's so pretty.

Back at the hotel, the (blank) date card arrives and Andrew (aka Pacey) is MAD he didn't get the one-on-one. And Marquel is MAD at Pacey because according to Pants (aka JJ), Pacey called Marquel and Ron "blackies." (Which JJ admits later could have been "black guys." But Marquel is livid.) Ohhhh snap. A very special Bachelorette ensues, dealing with racism. Marquel is able to hold his tongue during the group date of miming - yes, you read that right - they mimed, people. In front of a crowd. Trapped in a box, pulling on a rope, the whole nine yards. Except for Nick, who is an angry mime.

The evening portion of the date amps up the dude drama - maybe because they couldn't speak for so long while miming, it's eating them up inside - and beefcake Cody goes after Nick for being arrogant and saying he has a better connection with Andi than anyone else. Soon after, Marquel (once again wearing a crazy shirt and time combo) decides to speak gentlemanly to Pacey about his racist comments - which Pacey of course denies. Andi senses the tension and asks Nick what's going on. He basically admits it, and she's not sure if she is being played by "salty Nick." But he's falling in love with her, so smooch away! Pants gets the group date rose, amid all the awkwardness, for treating it like a one-on-one date. (And for stirring up all the controversy, in my opinion. Go Pants.)

Coach Brian gets the last one-one-one date, and it involves watching a movie coming soon to theaters which we have also just seen a preview for during a commercial break! What are the odds. It's then time to re-create the menu and fry up some frog legs. But Coach is not in the zone. He can't make a basket if you paid him. And Andi is about to send him to the showers. But wait - on a hail mary play, they decide to eat out, and amazingly Coach is back in the game! Plants like 50 kisses on her and walks away with the MVP rose.

Time for the rose ceremony, and all the guys are sweating it out and hoping to get some time with Andi. In a not-so-dramatic twist, Andi decides she doesn't need a cocktail party and is ready to send three guys home. We say au revoir to Marquel, Andrew/Pacey and Patrick. The Patrick departure makes me sad - she should have kept this hottie and sent beefcake Cody packing. But next week, it's on to Venice! Arrivederci!