Bachelorette recap: Irish eyes are crying

Good lord there were a lot of tears this week. This show should be brought to you by waterproof mascara. Although guys cried as much as Kaitlyn did, so never mind.

Shawn is in Kaitlyn's room, freaking out about their relationship - she said he was "the one" off-camera in San Antonio, so why is she so into Nick?? (Off-camera will be a running theme this week, and someone should be fired for allowing all the important convos to take place off-camera, IMO.) Kaitlyn freaks out about Shawn freaking out, and tells him he just has to deal because that's the show, yo. She still thinks he might know about her "intimate night" with Nick. Clearly he doesn't or he would have already left, but whatevs. Time for a 2-on-1 date!

It's JJ versus Joe in the "one rose, who stays, who goes" showdown. It's a super boring date in which Joe professes his love for her and JJ confesses he cheated on his wife. Wonder who will get sent home. (JJ, obvi)


When Joe returns with the rose, Shawn has already been stewing in his anger soup all day and once again storms into Kaitlyn's room. He finally comes clean about how the off-camera convo messed with his head and needs reassurance. Kaitlyn once again says it's not show friends, it's show business, so get on with it.

At the rose ceremony, Kaitlyn is stressed, and lets all the guys know it. Maybe it's that she slept with Nick too soon. Or maybe her nose piercing is rubbing her the wrong way. (Sorry - had to mention it.) She once again meets with Shawn and tells him they need to take a few steps back. Uh oh. Another uh oh: Ben H is pissed about his off-camera time with Kaitlyn (seriously. they couldn't find one cameraman during this time?) - something happened between she and Shawn that night, didn't it?! Ooh, he's very perceptive. And up for some smooching.

Nick has his time with Kait, and asks if he is the reason she's had such a bad week. And then starts crying, thinking about the last time he was on the show. Because that's what a girl wants to hear.

Tanner and Ben Z are given the boot, and I was honestly surprised it was Ben and not Cupcake. Although Cupcake is not long for this world either...

The remaining fellas head to Kilarney on a big green bus - except for Jared, who gets to road trip it with Kaitlyn. They stop at the Blarney Stone and kiss it and then kiss each other, which I kind of gagged at, thinking about those thousands of years of germs.

Chris Harrison finally appears to assess the damage little slutty Kaitlyn has done. It is decided that she shouldn't meet anyone's families yet - she is still too all over the map and needs off-camera time (!) will all the guys equally, dammit! Because that will make things so much less confusing for her and the guys. (insert sarcastic emoji here)

So the six guys will be cut to three, those three will go on the overnight dates (yay more sluttiness!), and the final two will introduce her to their families. The guys deal fairly well with this new turn of events, and Cupcake gets the date card. They helicopter it (drink!) over to the beautiful Cliffs of Moher, where Kaitlyn pushes him off.

Just kidding, but she might as well have, since she tells him through hiccuping sobs that he is perfect but she can't see a future with him. He presses her for more details and she gives him nothing, leaving him sobbing uncontrollably on the cliff. For a second I thought he might hurl himself over the edge (why else would a producer be standing so close to him?!), but he just threw himself on the ground in a fit. Because that's what a girl wants to see.

To Be Continued...(probably off-camera)