Land HO.

I say that because Tierra means "land" in Spanish. And because Tierra is kind of a ho.

After a weird shot of Sean in the shower (again with the abs), the dates begin! One-arm Sarah gets the first coveted one-on-one date, and clearly the producers have run out of ideas. The helicopter. (Yawn) "Free-falling" off a roof. (Which has been basically done before. A few times.) But there's more to it for poor Sarah, as she tells a very long-winded story about not being allowed to zipline due to her "disability" and she and Sean grow closer. Best first date ever, according to Sarah. She gets a rose; he gets a smooch. All is right with the world.

Next up: what could be the biggest group date in the history of the show. 13 girls?? Holy harem. And the lustiness continues with an awkward romance novel cover shoot. Kristy the Model is overjoyed. OVERJOYED. And over-annoying. She wins the competition even though blonde Lesley plants one on him, much to the dismay of the other 80 girls. Jealousy ensues, Tierra starts to show signs of double-cross, and things get even more awkward when curly-haired Katie decides this isn't for her and bolts. (The horror!) Sweet Kacie B snags the rose, moving out of the friend zone. (A difficult feat, from personal experience - atta girl!)

The last one-on-one date goes to Dez, and it's another weird one, complete with lame practical jokes (oh Sean, such a kidder!) and hot tub action. She gets herself a rose as well.

Rose ceremony time, and drunken bride Lindsay somehow shines, although I find her terrible. Robyn flat-out asks Sean about interracial dating, and he gives seriously the best answer possible. Well done sir. Once-smiley Amanda seems to be mentally unstable, as she stares sullenly ahead and doesn't speak to anyone except Sean, when the SMILE returns. The girls all hope she's a goner, but Brooke and single mom Diana are sent packing.

Next week looks like Tierra Time, complete with a possible neck injury. Let's DO this.