Bachelor in Paradise recap: Ashley I puts the I in EVIL

We once again open with Ashley I crying. I feel for Jared, since most of the time she's crying to/about him, but it seems he may be the only one who can understand her through the sobs. Apparently she's not only distraught about Jared/Caila, but also her dead dog Lucy, who she prays will send her a man. And Lucy, bless her, delivers - in walks Wells!


Everyone loves Wells, so much in fact that they force Ashley on him and what choice does he have but to ask her out for tacos. Or as Wells says, to "taco bout it." Love him. She wipes away tears and is actually excited about this. Jared is VERY excited about this. Over tacos, the conversation leads to music (Wells is a DJ in Nashville). He says his favorite band is the Talking Heads. Ashley says she knows who they are because she took a History of Rock and Roll class. Sigh. And who is HER favorite band? Hanson, of course. (Hate to hear what her favorite movie is. Actually, I really want to know.) Wells asks if she's serious, but luckily they are interrupted by a stray dog, and their mutual love of dogs leads to a kiss (clearly Wells learned not to wait so long like he did on the Bachelorette). Let's just hope the music discussion stays on the back burner.


Lace tries to push Grant away by flirting with Carl (?), but Grant loves her and won't let her go that easily. They fight, she cries, and of course they make up. They're GRACE, after all. Amanda heads to sleep and tells Nick and Jen they can use the room with the fan (a hot commodity - literally). But Josh is pissed - he and Amanda are sleeping there, and he put the fan in the room for them! He even goes so far as to wake Amanda up and thanks her for the "good talk." What a charmer.


Carly and Evan are falling in love with each other, which is odd to me because she literally vomited after kissing him, but hey. Who am I to judge. Canadaniel drags a lamp over to chat with Izzy, but she's giving her rose to Brett (the original lamplighter), sorrynotsorry. The twins throw a wrench into the rose ceremony when they announce they haven't found love and are leaving, which means Canadaniel, Carl (?) and Ryan are leaving too. And they don't even get the dignity of an exit SUV. The twins have one final play before they depart, though - they talked to Nick about their Josh/Amanda fears, and Nick told them he certainly has aggressive tendencies (duh). Andi's book comes up yet again, and I'm sure her publishers are relishing this free publicity. I mean, I want to read it now! The twins tell Amanda to be careful, the book is true, watch out for him, and Amanda begins to cry. She is now starting to have doubts - why would her best friends lie to her? Josh senses doom and swoops in and forces her to talk, even though she doesn't want to. (Nice) He is pissed, packs his bags and must find out who is responsible for potentially ruining his two-week relationship! Everyone gathers on the beach (after he commands them to do so) and Nick fesses up that he's not sure Josh is here for the right reasons (the magic phrase!). After all, a book just came out making Josh look not so great, and here he is in paradise coupled up with "America's sweetheart." PR campaign, perhaps? Josh is pissed (again), packs his bags and somehow convinces Amanda that he's a good guy and all of the red flags are just jealous people. Alrighty.


The next morning, everyone sleeps it off except Wells, who is hanging by himself at the pool when in walks Jami (Ben's season), who was hoping Wells would be in paradise. How fortunate that no one else is around, and they start chatting about broadcast journalism and she asks him on a date before anyone else is even awake. Everyone is nervous about how Ashley I will take it, but she's fine - she's not worried about it. In fact, she'll use this extra time to drag out her ginormous makeup trunk and put on her face. Red lipstick and all. 


Jami and Wells have a great time in matching bathing suits, and Wells is in awe of her Batman tattoo and kisses her. Wells done, sir. Ashley is clearly not doing "fine" and starts to unravel (again), this time telling Caila that she can't make out with Jared in front of her and can't trust Caila (who she has called a backstabbing whore several times now). Caila tears up and decides she is done - she can't get to know Jared with his ex around, and frankly it's not worth it. She tells Jared she's leaving because of Ashley.


This can't bode well. To be continued...