Bachelor recap - I can't control MY eyebrow, either

Ding dong the witch is dead - finally. Thank god Sean finally gave Tierra the boot. She was grating on my last nerve (and clearly on his, as well).

We open in sunny St Croix - a welcome change from snowy Canada. (Man these girls have to pack a lot of clothes!) The first one-on-one date goes to AshLee, and while she's getting ready Tierra (age 24) manages to offend me and every other single girl over 30 by calling AshLee a cougar and saying when SHE'S 32, you better believe she'll be married with kids. Um, you and me both, sweetie.

AshLee and Sean sail to a private island (been there, done that, producers) and he flat-out asks her about Tierra. Since she's not gossiping, but instead answering his question, AshLee is respected (and listened to), and tells the truth. Then at dinner she embarrasses herself (and me) by standing up and yelling out "Helloooooo St Croix! I loooooooove Sean Lowe!" Oy.

Up next: a one-on-one date for Tierra. Who is not happy because it's a city date, exploring the town - and she's hot. And sticky. And there are bugs. And she really really likes boats. Darnit. But Sean makes up for it by accidentally discovering what else she really likes - shopping - and buys her a bunch of crap on the street. But he's distant, and she knows it. And if she finds out who threw her under the bus...look out, ladies. Miss T means bidness.

But we get a reprieve in the form of a group date with Dez, Catherine and Lindsay. Sean wakes them up at 4am and snaps pictures of them without their makeup on (the horror! i have dated people for a year without them seeing me without makeup. it's THAT big of a deal, dude), then drives them to the eastern-most point to be able to watch the sunrise. And their date will go all day, until sunset. Nice. Except it ended up being too cloudy to see the sunset. Darnit again. Dez somehow gets to spend most of the day riding shotgun with Sean, so Lindsay makes the most of her one-on-one time by making out. (What she does  best.) And Catherine has yet another sob story when talking about her father, who was abused and tried to kill himself in front of her and her sisters (!) - but is cool and calm enough to point out dolphins in the ocean just minutes later. Lindsay snags the rose. Not sure why. Maybe she used tongue.

Finally, Leslie gets the last one-on-one date and she feels the passion, but Sean doesn't. Uh oh.

Before the rose ceremony, though, Sean is conflicted and kindly flies his sister Shay out to St Croix to help him decide. She reminds him not to date "THAT girl," who is clearly Tierra, and he wants them to meet so she can confirm what all the other girls have been telling him the whole time. But Tierra is a little busy right now, having another breakdown and telling AshLee she sabotaged her relationship and her parents warned her that the other girls would try to take away her "sparkle." Is that what we're calling it now? She makes another rude "you're so old" remark to AshLee, whose one sad comeback is that Tierra never says good morning and just raises her eyebrow. This makes Tierra go off the deep end - as she is a mere 24, she has had no Botox and can't control her eyebrow. "I CAN'T CONTROL MY EYEBROW!" Wow. We get it. (Side bar: apparentl Tierra's eyebrow has more Twitter followers than she does. Awesome.)

Sean comes in just in time, and realizes this girl is 50 shades of crazy, so kicks her to the curb. She bawls the entire time, hoping the other girls got what they wanted. I think they did.

Leslie also gets the boot at the rose ceremony, which oddly affects Catherine more than Leslie. She wonders WHAT Sean is looking for, since Leslie and he had even more in common than she does with Sean. Interesting turn of events. But again, thankyoujesus Tierra (and her wonky brow) are dunzo.