The Dating Shame, er, Game

Watched a little live version of The Dating Game yesterday - four rounds of single guys and girls asking questions to hidden contestants vying for love (or free tickets to a show - whatever). Some of the answers were funny, some were downright cringeworthy - but I tried to think of what I would have said if I had been put on the spot, and honestly I probably would have sat there like an idiot, blinking and trying to come up with something clever, but really wanting to say "PASS." I would do best at something like this if I had the questions beforehand. They included:

Q: What makes you cry?
A: Currently, this Iams commercial. It's gotten so bad I have to fast-forward.

Q: If you were a flavor of ice cream, what kind would you be?
A: Pistachio? (PASS.)

Q: What Muppet would you be?
A: Best question ever! I want to be Beaker, but I'm probably Miss Piggy.

Q: What's the most embarrassing place you've ever fallen asleep?
A: In the movie theater on a date.

Q: What's the biggest thing about you that I would notice?
A: Either my a** or the number of purses I own.

Q: What's your best pick-up line?
A: PASS.

Q: If we were five and a bully stole my lollipop, what would you do? (Yes, these were all actual questions. Good times.)
A: Tattled to the teacher. I was kind of a goody two-shoes.

Totally would have gotten the boot from the dating show - all the normal girls did - but I did get free tickets to a concert out of it. (Seriously - they drew my name out of a hat!)