Bachelor Pad rundown. Because I can't stop myself.

1. Natalie is a ho. She actually said she would kiss all the guys for $20?! Classy! And not sure what she was wearing in Vegas, but those were the shortest dang shorts I have ever seen. Also got a brief glimpse of some unfortunate suspenders on her. Whatever.

2. Speaking of dress code, did anyone notice that when they were all gathered on the couch at the beginning, before the kissing contest was announced, everyone was in like t-shirts, shorts and flip-flops. But not our Nikki. Yes, she had on a tank and shorts, but also was randomly sporting some 5-inch nude pumps. Mmmm-kay.

3. Elizabeth going "mmmm" every time a guy kissed her. (Well, except for poor Weatherman) She also looks like 45, I've decided. And love how her "no kissing" policy she initiated with Jake has gone totally out the window.

4. Tenley getting DENIED from Kiptyn's bunk because he wanted to nap...harsh! Haha.

5. I really think Tenley and Natalie look so much alike. One is like the sluttier twin.

6. Ashley refusing to participate in the kissing contest b/c of her students? NOW she has morals? WTF

7. Poor poor weatherman. Worst kisser. And buh-bye.

8. Wes is so revolting. "I dream about you every night" to Tenley?? Really, guy? And when he started singing his damn song again, I had to fast-forward. Jeez. Methinks he's a goner next week, though. Thank god.

9. Love the couple swapping. Now Natalie and Dave are together? And Jesse B and Peyton? As if they weren't making out with other people the day before? Love you, Bachelor Pad. Hope you provide condoms.

10. Nice disparity in the fantasy suites, ABC. The guy gets Vegas, and the girl gets...the mansion where they already live? SCORE!

11. Best (and by best I mean worst) quote of the night comes from Gia about Wes: "He's like the modern-day Shakespeare. But better! And cuter!" Oh lord. So intrigued by what her actual boyfriend looks like - and odds are they are no longer together since she basically professed her love for a douchebag.

12. Was the rose ceremony unofficial "Vest Night" for the guys? Dang.

13. Second best quote of the night comes from Elizabeth about Weatherman: "He's not funny or cute. I just don't like the guy. Nothing personal!" HA

Good times. Thank god I can Tivo out the embarrassing parts. Which is most of the show.