I know little lizards aren't harmful and some (weird) people actually keep them as pets. But I do not enjoy them. Or any reptiles or bugs, for that matter. Two little lizards have managed to breach the fortress of solitude (aka my apartment) and I have eventually managed to dispose of both of them. In very unusual ways. (This coming from someone who kills roaches by dropping a dictionary on them. And just leaving the dictionary on the floor. Or sprays spiders/ants with Lysol until they just die. I can't grab something still alive - even with a paper towel - and also can't handle hearing something crackle under my foot. But I digress.)
The first one ended up in my shower. Which was terrifying enough on its own. But I was able to drown it. Die, little lizard bastard! Die! (Of course, it wouldn't go down the drain, and no way was I going to fish it out. So I went all Macgyver and used the drain stopper to scoop it out. Screaming the entire time, of course.)
Number two died this morning. It popped up in the bathroom while I was Swiffering, And I was able to clean and kill with a single swoop. (The Swiffer: not just for cleaning anymore.) I'm sorry, but these kind of things make me feel superhuman and awesome. Sad but true. Maybe I could start an extermination service.
The first one ended up in my shower. Which was terrifying enough on its own. But I was able to drown it. Die, little lizard bastard! Die! (Of course, it wouldn't go down the drain, and no way was I going to fish it out. So I went all Macgyver and used the drain stopper to scoop it out. Screaming the entire time, of course.)
Number two died this morning. It popped up in the bathroom while I was Swiffering, And I was able to clean and kill with a single swoop. (The Swiffer: not just for cleaning anymore.) I'm sorry, but these kind of things make me feel superhuman and awesome. Sad but true. Maybe I could start an extermination service.
Awww. Poor little guys. Probably Godzilla's nephews. Beware the revenge of the lizard.
ReplyDelete