"How are you still single?"

This is a question I get a lot (and also ask myself almost daily in the mirror). It was in a CNN.com article last week as well - so I guess I'm not the only one who has to field this question.

(Thanks Erin for the link!)


You think it's a compliment at first - like "You're SO wonderful. How has no one snatched you up?" But then it becomes accusatory, like "You are over 30. What the F is wrong with you?" And I always laugh when guys ask me why I'm still single. Um, if I knew, I wouldn't be single!! (and I would also be very, very rich, having published my book "How not to be single anymore")


The article on CNN.com delves into the thought process - which seems an awful lot like some of the 5 stages of grief...

1. Denial. I'm fine, nothing wrong with me. It's THEM.

2. Guilt/blame. Maybe it IS me. I'm too picky. Too set in my ways. Too independent. Too... (these are all from personal experience, mind you)

3. Acceptance. But then you try to alter yourself and wind up either settling for someone that your un-changed self would never have gone for, or you beat yourself up for something that might not actually be that horrible.


The article ended by providing an answer to the original question. When you get asked "why are you still single, just say "it just hasn't happened yet."

This is actually not a bad response. You're not saying it's GOING to happen, thus living with a false sense of security, but you're also not saying it's NOT going to happen, thus living in Eeyore-ville. You're just taking your sweet time. Biological clocks be damned.

www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/13/still.single.lucky/index