Friday, August 17, 2018

Bless her heart

My mom texted me yesterday: "Are you on LinkedIn? Apparently it's the new way to get a job!" Oh, mom. Bless it. I have only been on LinkedIn for like 15 years.

#eyerollemoji
#thanksanyway

Thursday, August 16, 2018

We are working on the bottle thing, okay?

So Georgie is the only white baby in daycare. Which is great - diversity! - but the ladies keep telling us she fusses when no one pays attention to her, doesn't want to play by herself and can't hold her own bottle. All of which sounds normal to me - she's a BABY - but what if she is exhibiting the first signs of white privilege?? Like of course the white kid is the most high maintenance. Sigh.

The struggle is real y'all.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Bachelor in Paradise: it's getting coconuts

God this show is a beatdown. Becca talks Colton off the ledge, and he decides he has gotten the closure he needs to stick it out (or IN, heh) in Paradise. Bring on the fresh meat!

Jenna arrives and I have no clue who she is. Her hair is pink and she says she's an alien, so that helps. She's annoying, so of course she's perfect for male model Jordan. He ditches Annaliese and they go on a date involving horseback riding and making out.

Caroline arrives and is so nervous it's hard to watch. She pulls Grocery Store Joe aside but then has to pee, and never comes back. She ends up asking out Venmo John (yay!), and they get along well even though she is easily distracted by local animals, who she likes to name. Alrighty.

Jubilee arrives, also asks out John (my man!), and they both admit to being geeks. We finally hear John admit he founded Venmo, and it means he must have a TON of cash. My man!

Crystal tells Kenny he's in the friend zone so she can pursue Chris, who of course just got finished telling Tia not to feel insecure - no matter what new woman arrives, he is here for HER. But he is entranced by Crystal and wants to kiss his first blonde, so he does. This guy is not even cute, people. Not sure what's going on here. Colton finds out about this and tells Tia, because he doesn't want to hurt her. You know, aside from the other day when he told her he wanted to play the field.

Tia is pissed, y'all. She marches over to Chris and -

UNTIL NEXT WEEK!

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Bachelor in Paradise: the white elephant in the room

Yes, someone said "white elephant in the room" last night. No, that's not a thing. It's white elephant. And elephant in the room. Come on people.

Colton is shaping up to be a virgin villain, and I'm proud of Tia for standing up for herself (sort of).

David tries to screw with Jordan once again, but somehow this Annaliese chick likes him. (Has she seen the golden undies, though??)

Poor Wills gets sent home - I'm hoping this means a shot at being the next Bachelor??

And for the love of god, get Wells and Yuki their own show. The whole "tropical" discussion was the best thing I've seen in a long time.


Monday, August 13, 2018

Reporting to sick bay

Georgie has another cold - boo. Bigger boo - took her to the dr on Saturday because I was afraid she had an ear infection (I still think that, but whatever), and he told me since she's in daycare I can expect her to be sick 50 weeks out of the year. (As a reminder, there are only 52 weeks in a year. Leaving a whopping TWO not sick.) Sure glad I pay for this daycare business. #eyerollemoji

My mom has whatever Georgie has (somehow I have managed to avoid it this time), and she finally felt better this morning after a rough weekend. She came in and said, "I feel great! Church this morning??" Bless her heart - she slept through Sunday and here it is Monday again. Bummer.

Friday, August 10, 2018

studying starts NOW

Just for shits and giggles, I looked up how much college costs these days. Answer: a LOT. (And I don't even want to factor in the inflation in 18 years...)

In-state at UT including room and board is $10K a semester, so $80K for 4 years. That's a STATE SCHOOL. UNC for an out-of-stater is like $50K a year. Might as well go to Harvard, amIright? (Yale, Duke, etc are like $75K a year, in case you were wondering.)

Holy scholarship, Batman.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Most Dramatic Bachelorette Recap in History. Also the Shortest.

To sum up the Bachelorette, Becca picked the racist (assumed) Trump fan. She claims she is anti all of that stuff, so we shall see how long this relationship lasts.