Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I used to not be able to swallow pills. Not even the nice gel-coated ones. I would gag and either have to opt for chewables (does anyone else think Baby Tylenol is delicious? Just me?), or suck it up and hope the pain/illness would go away on its own. Actually, in a last-ditch effort my dad DID buy me the Pill Masher (as seen on TV). That bad boy would crush up just about anything, and then my parents would hide the remnants in a spoonful of yogurt or peanut butter or something. (Um, isn't that how you get DOGS to take pills. Whatever. It worked.)
It also might come as no surprise that I still went to my pediatrician until like age 24. (Shout-out, Dr. Sue Hubbard.) So embarrassing, sitting in the waiting room over a college break and having to pretend like my CHILD was in the bathroom, since that would be the only logical reason for someone in their 20s to be in that office...not sure who to blame this on. We'll go with my mother. :)
But I am now proud to say that I can swallow pills and see an adult doctor. What a big girl.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
So apparently my love life is so pathetic that my poor 87-year-old grandmother has had to resort to creating a FICTIONAL man for me. But it doesn't stop there - she has put a lot of thought into this. Some highlights of "Steve Make-believe":
He went to UNC. But he was a senior when I was a freshman, so I didn't know him in school. (Convenient, Nana.)
He is a pediatrician, specializing in asthma. (?)
We will eventually marry and have twin boys. (This could actually happen, since I will be so old I'll be all hopped up on fertility drugs and will probably pop out multiples.)
So there you have it, folks. If anyone knows this guy, let me know. Nana wants me to meet him.
Monday, November 21, 2011
It's people posting what they will do for $5. Everything from pretending to be an ex on social media sites for a week (?) to making a tough decision for you to my personal favorite, having someone dance for two minutes to a song of my choice while wearing a hot dog costume. For $5.
Thank you, Nincy, for bringing this into my life. I'll pay you $5 for it.
And side bar: I'm forcing my mom and grandmother to watch Tough Love tonight so they can see what I'm walking into. Should be interesting. Or tragic.
(And yes, I bought the gifts for my fam as well. It was a win-win.)
Friday, November 18, 2011
And P.S. - spraying 409 on spilled sugar doesn't really help. Instead it creates a hardened, sticky substance that honestly took 30 minutes to clean. And this is why I don't bake. Period.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
1. Free food, bowling and games at Main Event. This was back in September and the fact that they had their Christmas decorations out and carols playing was a little trippy, but fun.
2. Free tour of the Arboretum.
3. Today, free food, margaritas and possible chair massages (although that sounds a little sketchy) at Love and War in Texas.
4. And tomorrow, free food at House of Blues.
A girl could get used to this. Of course, I have to actually PLAN something here eventually, but we've got until January...until then, more free drinks please!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
But that all changed a few weeks ago, when I wore the one pair of knock-off Spanx that I own under a dress to an event - um, yes please. Amazeballs. And now I'm semi-obsessed. I want the reversible tights. I want the leggings. Maybe they make jeggings?
Guilt be gone. I'll have an extra helping of dressing at Thanksgiving - because I'll be giving thanks for Spanx.
Monday, November 14, 2011
These deal-breaker ditties include:
"Smooth" by Santana/Rob Thomas. Uggggggh.
"Yeah" by Usher/Lil John/Ludacris. Seriously? The lyrics are basically "yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah." Even I could come up with that.
(Or maybe it's more that I hate collaborations?)
Pretty much anything by J.Lo. Or the Biebs. Sorry.
"Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus. "Nodding my head like yeah" is not a thing.
That's it for now. I'm sure there are many, many more.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Hot dude with bedhead and plaid pj pants, leading one of his two adorable dogs down the stairs. (Accompanied by his live-in girlfriend, leading the other dog, in a t-shirt, shorts, and - this was the interesting part to me - patent leather wedge heels. Perhaps they were closest to the door?)
Older lady in a nice pj pants ensemble complete with silk robe.
Couple in jeans with a pizza that had just been delivered - who obviously had just gotten home.
Bunch of drunk groomsmen in matching vests and suits.
And then of course moi, in a sad little blue t-shirt with Cookie Monster's face on it and blue sweatpants. Oh, and tennis shoes. STYLIN'.
UPDATE: Fire alarm went off again at 2:45 am this morning. I think I upped the ante by wearing BLACK sweatpants and a "Frankie Says Relax" t-shirt. Yep, that happened.
Friday, November 11, 2011
And yes, the more I think about it, the more nervous this whole idea sounds. But I won't hear anything until mid-January anyway, so no need to freak myself out just yet. Plenty of time for that when the cameras are rolling.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
And side bar: why is it that whenever I'm at a live auction (which, let's be honest again, isn't that often), I get an overwhelming desire to scratch my head. But I'm terrified to move my arms for fear that they'll think I'm bidding for something. So I just sit on my damn hands until the auction is over. Everyone is safer that way.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
It's about the awesomeness that is the Carrier Classic: UNC v Michigan State, on Friday, Veteran's Day, on the deck of a freaking aircraft carrier, airing on ESPN. Set your DVRs.
We even have these sweet camo uniforms to wear:
(Side bar: he BETTER be a Tar Heel fan.) My only fear is that in the heat of (basketball) battle, someone will shove someone else right over the side of the ship, but then I think about all the hot military men who will be in the audience, and I settle back down.Don't think it's a coincidence that USA and UNC have the same number of letters and both start with the letter "U." And now I sound like I'm on Sesame Street. So be it. And GO HEELS.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Regardless, I have to give everyone props for finding something to do to break the boredom. :)
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I seriously have no one. Obviously not dating anyone, and I refuse to ask someone I barely know, simply because I don't even know these work people very well and that would just lead to awkward silences and probably too many free drinks. Which then leads to Sarah losing her job. (I feel the same way about inviting a random dude to a wedding, which explains the sad yet impressive statistic that in my 34 years on earth I have never taken a date to a wedding. Not ever. )
Wouldn't even really want to make a guy friend have to go, either - although it's an awesome band and the top 25 chefs in Dallas are doing the food, so I'm sure it will be semi-fun...So that of course leaves the trusty "gal pal." Which is STILL weird because technically we'll be sitting with and hanging out with work folks and therefore I probably shouldn't bust out my best robot on the dance floor. So after asking around, I have opted for my sweet co-worker. At least she knows these people too...
Of course, I bitch about trying to find the elusive "plus one" - but it's equally painful when you're NOT "and guested" - I mean, WHAT. You don't think I could FIND a date?? (I mean, I couldn't. But you shouldn't assume. :) )
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
And yes, totally copying my bro's mo below, yo. (I like to rhyme.)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
But thank god their wedding was free - that would be an unfortunate waste of $10 million. And three wedding dresses. And four hours of my time, watching the damn spectacle on TV. Here's hoping E! will put together a five-hour special documenting the divorce. Ooh - and a Lifetime TV Movie! I can see it now: "Krazytown: The Kim and Kris Story."