Thursday, September 30, 2010

Just a general wondering...

Regarding the term "butt naked." Isn't that a little redundant? I mean, what other kind of naked is there?

Random musings on Jennifer Grey

There was a special "Jennifer Grey Backstory" on the Insider last night. Made me really want to watch Dirty Dancing again. That movie like MADE my 5th grade year. Sigh. And of course the beauty that is "I carried a watermelon."

I had also forgotten about the key role she played in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Including the awesome make-out scene with a young Charlie Sheen.

Bizarre how different she looks now, but hey. Whatever works for ya. And if she wins DWTS, who knows. Her career could be back on track. At 50. (How in the HELL is she 50?!)

Man I feel old

So there's some song by Nicki Minaj (??) on the radio, and she samples the back-up vocals from "Video Killed the Radio Star." So I was jamming to it yesterday, and realized that most young kids who hear it would never know about the Buggles reference. (And the awesome trivia fact that VKRS was the first video on MTV.) Which then just made me feel old. At least, older than usual. Viva the 80s. Sigh.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Such a Gleek

How good was the Britney episode last night.
A. Heather Morris is an amazeballs dancer. And had some awesome one-liners.
2. It really made me miss my "It's Britney, bitch" ringtone. Sigh.
F. Even though Britney was only in it for like two minutes, girl looked GOOD. She's come a long way since the head-shaving incident. Just sayin.

Fall! (or close enough)

Yes, it's still almost 90 during the day, but so help me it's 55 in the mornings. Which means...BOOTS! Oh, how I've missed you.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

And the TX-OU fun begins

Got a tweet that Frankie's Sports Bar is offering $2 jello shots on Saturday - in both burnt orange and red. What the hell flavor of jello is burnt orange?!
Loves it.

WHY, Womack?!

I was so looking forward to being a contestant on the next Bachelor - featuring Chris Lambton. But noooo - instead, they're giving Brad Womack another shot at it? No thanks. Good thing I never mailed in a video application. You had your chance, Womack. Share the wealth.

I've been asked to be a model.

Don't get too excited - got a mass email from a salon (where I've never been, mind you), offering 50% off if you're willing to be a bikini wax model. Now, I'm not even sure what that entails, but I think I would need a lot more than 50% off to do something like that. Don't look for me in the cast of America's Next Top Bikini Wax Model.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Bye-bye, Gazelle

I may have mentioned that I bought a Tony Little Gazelle (as seen on TV!). Used it like twice and never even broke a sweat. So Friday night, after the SMU tailgate (and many beers), my friend Bethany decided she loved it. I was more than happy to give it to her. And although it took three of us to fold that bad boy and load it into her car, I have so much more space now in my living room. Maybe I'll put in a hot tub. Time machine.

Enjoy the G, B!

I can see how this could get addictive

Kind of loving the botox results already. Pencil me in for some more cc's. Then she started talking about Fraxel. And Juvederm for the lips. A girl (with a limitless budget) could get used to this. And um, no payment plan was offered. Will have to do some very creative financial planning this month. Screw it. My forehead looks GOOD.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Tailgating. A brilliant invention.

Only working a half day today so I can hit the SMU-TCU tailgate this afternoon. Granted, SMU tailgates are like none other (fancypants), but just the general idea of drinking, bbq, football and BOYS pre-gaming is sheer genius. Thank you, inventors of the tailgate.

I also like to tailgate when driving, but that's another story altogether.

If you keep making that face, your face will freeze like that

SPEAKING of freezing faces...botox consultation at noon today! Can't get overly excited because there's no way in hell I can afford it without some sort of payment plan, but bye bye, forehead wrinkles! And hel-lo, potentially fuller top lip, should I get some sort of restalyne package deal...

And yes, I saw the "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episode where Kim has a bad reaction. But let's not pretend that was her first (or last) time getting it done.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Ever since I blogged about my office crush, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him. (How southern is THAT phrase?!) Come out come out wherever you are...(of course, due to stalking, I KNOW where you are. But that's beside the point.)

I feel like Facebook Places for the iPhone, where you can check in from different locations, is just ASKING for stalkers. Like say I see a guy has checked in at a bar. And I just "happen" to show up at the same place?! What are the odds! Sadly, I can't be "stalked" because I don't have an iPhone. Dangit.

Perhaps I'm the only one who thinks about stuff like this.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Another bizarro dream

So last night, I dreamed I was on a pseudo date with my gym crush. Just "pseudo" because I was walking home and he was on a bike - very weird. But then he told me I had a booger hanging out. What in the world. I remember being mortified in the dream, but also grateful for his honesty...

A little hearing impaired humor

While at the gym last night, I was watching the news on a closed-captioned TV. The weather guy came on, and according to the captions, "There has been some scattered rape, but nothing too serious." I assume what he ACTUALLY said was rain, but damn. Poor hearing impaired peeps probably hid their kids, hid their wives, hid their husbands...
(haha sorry. That Antoine guy cracks me up.)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The DMV is sucking my will to live

You all may remember a post a few months ago where I was complaining about not receiving my new driver's license. Well, guess what - I still haven't gotten it. And two temporary licenses have expired in the process. Finally went again this morning and their computer said it was "ready to mail" - which means it hasn't even been MAILED yet. So they started over and re-took my photo and I'm oddly optimistic that in 3-6 weeks I might actually have a driver's license.

Some thoughts about the DMV...
1. I got there at like 7:40 so I could be first in line when they opened at 8. Wrong - there was already a line around the building.
2. The crowd at the DMV is always very diverse. And lots of different languages spoken. It's like the poor man's United Nations.
3. Note to the man in line next to me: your cologne was way too strong and also smelled not good. Almost made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
4. Note to the white trash chick whose phone kept going off with different - yet equally loud - ringtones - telling people to "smile!" while they're getting their picture taken for their driver's license really isn't necessary.
5. You actually COULD tell the people working at the DMV to "smile!" - they all looked like they wanted to kill someone. And it was only 8:15 a.m.
6. Love how many people show up totally clueless as to what they need. One lady tried to use her credit card as a form of identification. Another hadn't been to driver's ed and wanted a license. Although they way people drive, most of us don't really remember what you learned in driver's ed anyway.

Please god don't make me have to go back there. It's going to haunt me in my dreams.

Office crushes are the bestest

So there's this uber cute guy who works across the hall. I have seen him for months and didn't know who he was or where he worked, exactly. We've never spoken, but there's eye contact and now it's to the point of the pathetic side smile. After I saw him yesterday, I decided to cyber stalk and figure out who the hell he is. Turns out, stalking is easy. I learned he works in the Office of Research, so I went to their website and started plugging the male names into Facebook. Second one I tried was him. Thank you, Facebook, for making my virtual relationship come to life. Not really, of course, as we still have never spoken. But now I know his name, his age (3 years older than me) and his office. Which could lead to even more stalking, but let's just start by getting some balls and actually saying hi sometime. Baby steps, people.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Go to Grapefest, get a free plunger

Trekked it out to Grapevine on Saturday night for Grapefest. It was a SWEATfest, that's for sure. Fun and random, but our night was made when we sweet-talked two guys into giving us their toilet plungers. (Apparently there was a guy giving them away in a booth, but by the time we got down there, his booth was shut down and no more plungers. Sigh.) I chatted up a nice 13-year-old tween (who, let's face it, probably needed the plunger more than me...ew), and his mom guilted him into giving it to me. We found all kinds of fun ways to use a plunger (torch! drink holder! weapon!) and it was really quite the guy magnet. (Again, ew) I say we man up some weekend and take the (still clean and un-used) plungers out and about in Dallas. Then we can see if it only appeals to the Grapevine man. My guess? ALL men would be curious as to why a seemingly normal girl is walking around with a plunger. Game ON.

Monday nights are boring without the Bachelor franchise

What's a girl to do? (And don't say "read a book," mom.)
Thank god for Chuck and Gossip Girl.

Dreams, diagnosed

First of all I dreamed last night that Audrina Patridge and I were friends. Which is weird on many levels, primarily because she bugs.

But the other dream I had, that I actually have quite often, was that I was shopping in a store at the mall and all of a sudden realized I had left my purse like out in the middle of the mall for an hour. Had a sinking suspicion that my wallet would be stolen, and sure enough, yes it was. Keep hoping one of the days it will be a "mankind is good" message and my wallet will still be there, but so far, nope. Then I wake up with a HUGE relief that I wasn't that much of an idiot. Although I could seriously see that happening. Maybe that's what my subconscious is trying to tell me - you're an idiot. :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Slim chance

Have you ever noticed that when information goes out about a missing woman, she always weighs 125 pounds? Is it something about that size of a person that leads a guy to think he can kidnap her? Or is her family just lying to protect her ACTUAL weight?

Same goes for every celebrity who loses weight with Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers - they ALL magically get down to a size 6. Just saying. I doubt all of these people are telling the truth. But I'm really just jealous.

Airing of Grievances

(yes, it's a little early for Festivus - and what's with my multiple Seinfeld references this week?!)

But the latest thing that annoys me: PENNIES. Seriously why are they still being made. My wallet was so heavy and barely zippable (?) - and not because of all the cash. Because of the damn pennies. I finally emptied them out yesterday, and counted 34. Seriously? What is the point. Things should just be rounded off. That way I could use more math.

Think about it, people in the U.S. Mint who I'm sure read this and who I'm not sure even actually make coins. But whatever. It's the principle of the thing.

This just made my Saturday

Duke v Alabama in football. As in Dook. Versus. The #1 team. Tivo-licious.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The name's Crasher. HH Crasher.

Hitting a UT/Texas Tech alumni happy hour tonight. Going to a Michigan alumni hh next week. As well as an SMU "tailgate" aka "boulevard." I feel like this could be a very good way to meet peeps. And by "peeps" I of course mean dudes. Just find out where various school happy hours/game watching shenanigans are going on, and show the hell up. Who has to know I didn't actually ATTEND these schools. Hell - I applied to UT and Michigan - that should count for a free beer or koozy or something.


Love that Seinfeld episode where they say "You are sooo good-lookin'" after people sneeze. My dad used to say "God bless us ALL after that one!" after a particularly big sneeze. And my grandfather rocked "Gesundheit!" per his German roots.

I sneezed like three times in a row this morning on the way to work. For some reason I always have to sneeze when I drive. This particular time, while driving 65 mph on Central. And my eyes were CLOSED. That cannot be safe. But again, wtf are you supposed to do?

I do love sneezing, though. My sneezes are loud and obnoxious. A former co-worker (shout-out, Kari!) had the cutest, most polite little sneezes that almost sounded like coughs. Not me. I have literally sneezed myself out of my chair before. My grandmother always sneezes in threes. I know to wait and say "god bless you" (or "you are soooo good-lookin") until after the third one has passed.

And there you have it. Longest post ever on sneezes. You're welcome. Please pass the tissues.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Belated Bachelor Pad Best Wishes

And DUNZO. I apologize if I miss some key quotes or moments, but parts of this were so cheese-tastic that I had to fast forward. Mainly through all dance sequences and pretty much any time Tenley was on.

Some thoughts...

Natalie's hand sock thingies at the beginning.

Elizabeth just keeps looking worse. (Which could explain her back-to-brunette self in the live portion)

Eliz and Kovacs' crazyass make-out jumping into the limo. WTF

Dance lessons...Kiptyn wearing jazz shoes (with a slight heel, I might add). Nice.

Louis asking Dave and Natalie if they'd had sex. And then something about doggie style...Natalie's remark about being "used to those positions" was pretty classic. And dead-on.

The dance number. Holy open shirt, Dave. And he kept wearing it WELL after the performance was over. Why god why.

Also why JAKE why. Really? Nothing better to do than to comment on their "interludes" or whatever the hell he was saying. SO tragic.

They're going to "leave this on the dance floor." Alrighty.

Tenley, skipping and cheesy dancing after winning. Means Sarah fast-forwarded.
Tenley giggles. More fast-forwarding. Can't stand her. Sorry.

Elizabeth: "we needed to lick our wounds." Um, ew.

Kiptyn was a tad overdramatic about the big vote-off. "One of the hardest decisions of my life?" "We'll have to deal with the repercussions for years to come?" Dude. It's just a cheesy reality show. Chillax. PS - by voting off Kovacs and Elizabeth, you totally sealed your fate. Enjoy working at Disney with your new gf.

Which brings us to the Live Show. Is this like a poor man's "Cast Tells All?" I could have used an extra hour of gossip. But not of shots of Nikki's cleavage.

(And btw Melissa Rycroft has the tinies baby bump known to man.)

Is it sad that the most romantic moment happened between the evilest one of all, Wes? Although he brought it back to earth with "Bad boys need love too" and "I've got a million dollars right here (gesturing to Gia)." Eye roll eye roll eye roll. Another eye roll when Tenley refers to Kip as "my boyfriend."

Elizabeth rocks the dark hair. America thanks her. And Chris Harrison calls her out on it.

Gia calls Kiptyn to the carpet on screwing over Nikki. Psycho Michelle calls Tenley to the carpet for starting a "rumor." She's still psycho, but I like her moxie.

Then we have the pleading for votes and sob stories for money. I fast forward.

We finally learn Gwen's age (39)!! Nice work telling Dave you were "in it for the money, not for love." And by "work," I of course mean plastic surgery.

Juan, trying to stir up trouble. I know he and Nikki tried dating once before and it fell apart, but I could see them as a couple. Or else I see them both as very unloveable except to each other...

The voting begins - very "Survivor"-y. My big question was, can you write down "Neither?"
What in the world did Wes write on his board that had to be blurred out? A porno sketch? Hilarious.

And Dave and Natalie, the two sluts of the show, win! But wait! There's more! Sucking the audience in to another 15 minutes of over-dramatized Keeping or Sharing...seriously, how much does Chris H get paid to do this. And with a straight face, no doubt.

Until next time. And hopefully that will include Cape Cod Chris...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bachelor Pad bromance

(I will have my thoughts posted tomorrow on the big finale, but in the meantime...)

Please check out Not only is it Kovacs' website about wine and apparently his blog, but you can pre-order crazy Dave's "Man Code" book! What in the world. Maybe it's more than just a bromance.


And yes, I follow these idiots on Twitter. Which is how I found out about it. Oof.

Rent the Runway

Has anyone tried this? You can "rent" a designer dress for $50 and up (depending on how pricey the dress is to begin with), and send it back after 4 days. They will even send you a size up or down for free to make sure something fits. I was thinking about using it for an upcoming out-of-town wedding rehearsal dinner - I could really blow Iowa's mind in an Herve Leger bandage dress. And it would be so memorable, you don't want to wear it again - good thing it's just a rental!

My plan: if I don't find anything at the Hunter Dixon trunk show (next Thursday night at my place - let me know if you're interested!), it's Rent the Runway all the way. Look out, Iowa. :)

Monday, September 13, 2010


A girl I work with always accidentally writes "Viola!" instead of "Voila!" Hilarious. And the whole musical instrument thing reminds me of the "joke" my date told me the other night. We were talking about him being in the band, and he said, "Tuba or not tuba?!" I just stared at him. He said I was the first person he had ever told that joke to who didn't laugh. I told him it simply wasn't funny. And...scene.

Love vh1 countdowns

Got sucked in to vh1's "Top 100 Artists of All Time," as voted on by the artists themselves. 5 hours of my weekend - gone. But good stuff. I have to say I pretty much agree with their top 5:

5. Bob Dylan
4. Rolling Stones
3. Led Zeppelin*
2. Michael Jackson
1. The Beatles

*Really not familiar with Zeppelin, so could go either way on this one. Maybe I would have stuck Madonna, Prince or Aerosmith in there. But they didn't ASK me, did they.


Taking a cake decorating class at Central Market this Saturday - super psyched. Maybe I like decorating cookies and cakes so much because I don't EAT them, but at least I can be somewhat intimate with them via icing. (Also could explain my obsession with candles and lotions that smell like cookies.)

And then Sunday I am going to attempt to cook. Cooking for one is such a beating, but I guess I've got to learn sometime. Worst case scenario, I give myself food poisoning and drop a few lbs in the process. (Actually, that's NOT a worst case scenario after all.)

All I need now is a knitting class and I'm good to go. Straight into the 1950s.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Post #300! What does she win, Bob?

300 random blog posts in 6 measly months. Man I have a lot of nothing to say. Isn't it around 300 epsiodes when a TV show goes into syndication? The book publishers can start calling to syndicate ME any day now...ha.


Halloween costume arrived last night. Won't spoil the surprise, but let's just say it's NOT in the "sexy/slutty" category (although an ab workout would probably be a good idea). After all, I look slutty most nights of the year. Halloween should be something different. :)

Words I loathe

The list of words that make me cringe grows by the day. Ready? O.K.

Probe (the newest addition)
Lube (as in, for the car. Get your minds out of the gutter.)
Wedge (don't think I could ever order a "wedge salad.")

Favorite words:

And of course, amazeballs.

Another swing and a miss

No sparks on the blind date. He was nice and everything, but...
Plus the fact that at one point he said he wasn't one of those guys who was into fancy cars, and then the valet pulled up in his Porsche convertible! Ha.

I did feel bad for him because he was saying that he was like the president of the A/V club in high school. I asked him if he played any sports, and no. He was in the band. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Poor sweet little Porsche-driving A/V geek.

On to the next! Or not. Please god no more.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Picture it: Sicily, 1860

Sorry - brief Golden Girls shout-out there. But seriously, picture it: 1989. 6th grade field trip to Williamsburg/Washington DC.

Reasons why I was NOT cool (but for some reason thought I was):

1. Bought a long-ass coat with matching red scarf and red BERET. Um what.
2. Bought two cassette tapes to bring for jamming on the bus: U2 Joshua Tree (cool) and the Cocktail soundtrack (not cool).
3. Toted around a Liz Claiborne purse, when everyone else had a Dooney & Burke. (This was Hockaday, remember)
4. The mere fact that we were all like 12 with braces and perms. But I blame that on the decade, not on me. Humph.

Not in Kansas anymore

Tornados touched down in Dallas yesterday afternoon. I've obvi heard the sirens many times before, but actually felt motivated to huddle in my stairwell for a bit yesterday. Really could have turned off the TV and just used Facebook as a news source. Hilarious. Within a span of 5 minutes, status updates went from "TORNADO!" "Taking cover!" to "Sun's back out!" Ah, Texas weather.

But the alarms keep going off at work today (they are being re-set, apparently). I think that should be enough to qualify for a day off. (So this week alone, I have hoped for a "rain day" and now a "post-tornado recovery day" as reasons not to come to work. Hmmm.)

Here we go again

Supposed to have yet another matchmaker date tonight. Oy. (Which reminds me: Happy New Year to my Jewish friends)

Meeting at the Common Table, in case anyone wants to come laugh and point.

The worst part about a blind date to me is the initial walking in. You're scanning the room, looking for - you have no idea WHAT you're looking for - and you don't want everyone else at the bar to know you're looking. It's a tricky dance that I don't perform very well. Beeline for the bar. That's MY dance. Thank god for alcohol.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Eyebrow threading...

I guess my eyebrow skin is uber sensitive, because most of the time when I get it waxed, it burns and leaves scabs and scars. Pretty!

The hair is blonde so I usually just tweeze, but every so often a girl wants to have some brow defining moments. I have even been talked into getting my lip waxed before (dear god), and that got so red and puffy it looked like I'd been hit in the face with some KoolAid. So obvi I need a new tactic.

A few of my friends have gotten their eyebrows threaded. Seems like it would take forevah, but at least I wouldn't have the lasting scars to show for it. Anyone?

Building an ark

Holy Hermine. 100% chance of rain today. And yesterday. And probably tomorrow. Which means awesome traffic to and from work, and a tragic hair day. It's so windy, my umbrella kept blowing upside down. Really - what is the point. Should have just called in sick - er, wet.

Also disappointing that hurricanes rarely make it to the letter "S," so the odds of a Hurricane Sarah aren't likely. I'd settle for someone naming a comet after me. Or aren't there asteroids headed for earth? Maybe one of THOSE needs a name. Just throwing it out there, scientist peeps.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

EH? More like blEH.

Have not had ONE eh match since like Wednesday. Does this mean I have gone through their entire roster of available matches? With only one guy actually emailing? Um, refund. Where's their courteous blogger NOW?! Haha.

Where are Kiptyn's abs. For the love.

Bachelor Pad re-cap time, folks...I just have one word. Railing.

1. I hate the couples. If I was a contestant, no way would I be coupled up and so would've been sent packing along with Gwen, Ashley and Nikki. Stupid couples.

2. I'm sorry - Gwen may be older, but she is not "in her 40s" like Elizabeth said! Poor Gwen.

3. Elizabeth is such a moron. "Gingoloba?" REALLY??

4. And Tenley's not much better. She sounds like a third grader (no offense to third graders): "Kissing is fun. Kiptyn is fun. Cuz we are 'Kip-Ten'!" Vomit. I believe she also used the word "relational" later on. Oh, Tenley.

5. The Peyton/Jesse B interaction cracks me up - esp with the correct way to peel a banana. Her facial expressions were classic.

6. Natalie has a wonky eye. Anyone? Perhaps that's why her skirts are so damn short - to take attention away from the eye.

7. Dave's sideways hat is just not okay. And were those jorts? Dear god. I do appreciate that he appeared to be ironing before the date, though. (And later we see Kiptyn cooking...or just chopping up like 80 pounds of chicken...)

8. When the date card arrives, Tenley keeps guessing it's a rocket ship. Seriously she threw out that idea like 5 times. No, sweetie. Shhhh.

9. The lambourghini (okay no clue how to spell it, but I hate that people like Crazy Dave call it a "lambo." It IS easier to spell, though.) arrives, and it takes poor Elizabeth way too long to figure out it's for Nat and Dave's date. Duh. And then the lambo makeout between Kovacs and Elizabeth? Ew. Porn-ish. (I enjoyed his quote, "Watch out for the stick!" Heh heh.) And then to come back in and be like, "it's got Elizabeth and Kovacs all over it!" I mean. ABC intern. Go wash it. That's just unsanitary.

10. "She's got a bad case of the Kovacs." Enough said, people.

11. Crazy Dave seemed to get the crazy EYES behind the wheel. And the ensuing porn shots atop the car really weren't necessary. Again -HOW SHORT WAS HER SKIRT. But I digress.

12. They proceed to a recycled Bachelor pad (ha) - where Molly and Jason fell in love. Wonder how co-host Melissa Rycroft felt about that. Then we're treated to Deep Thoughts with Crazy Dave and Slutty Nat. Good times.

13. Back at the homestead...Elizabeth and Kovacs sneak into the fantasy suite (no she di'nt!) for a little romance of their own. The subtitles were cracking me up so badly DDP almost came out my nose. Him: "Do you want to get naked? If so, that's cool." Her: "Not if it's just railing." (Sidebar: I have never heard this before. how out of the loop am *I*?) They go back and forth and by morning, more awesome subtitles. Her: "You got laid." Him: "Why are you trying to mess things up and push me away?" Her: "I love you." CLASSIC. And might I add, Elizabeth is a psycho.

14. Noticed the night before that the bunk beds have been put away and it's now queen bed city for our lucky couples. Way to make it happen, ABC.

15. The rose ceremony just doesn't do it for me anymore. It's the two hour lead-in that keeps me tuning in for more. Sad but true.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Dallas is too damn small

Went to watch the UNC football game Saturday night (good effort, boys), and there was a guy at the next table over who I went on a few Match dates with last year. We made out on date #2 and I never heard from him again. I know he's still on it, because he viewed my profile when I was on it again last month. And he was making eye contact at the bar - probably like, "do I know you from somewhere?" I was close to walking over, being like "Hey! Remember THIS?" And giving him a big smooch. But wasn't NEAR drunk enough. Ah well.

Isn't it the MOST? To say the least.

(Sorry - classic Patty Simcox quote from Grease. Had to be done.)

Just bought my Halloween costume online - and it's a "one size fits most." What the hell does this mean. Did the legal team behind "one size fits all" tell them to use this to avoid lawsuits for those who don't fit? But what if I can't fit into "most," either? Maybe there should be another category - "one size fits some." Or "one size fits models." "One size will make you want to kill yourself." You see where I'm going with this.

Friday, September 3, 2010

And spit.

I'm sure it's just good dental hygiene, but I think it's weird when people brush their teeth in the office bathroom. Seems like a cross-contamination waiting to happen.

Why is it

That EVERY time I go to the grocery store, I grab the one cart with a wonky wheel? Either it makes an obscene amount of noise, or it doesn't roll and makes grocery shopping into a cardio workout, or some other embarrassing byproduct that doesn't seem to happen to anyone else. And of course I'm always too proud to return it. So people stare at my loud, squeaky, sweaty self rummaging through the produce aisle. Good times.

The Cove

Watched this documentary this morning at the gym - and I will never go to Sea World or one of those "swim with the dolphins!" places ever again. :(

Such a good movie, but so freaking sad.

Why can't they all be 4-day weekends?

Yay for Mondays off, fall-ish weather (a.k.a. I'm not sweating), college football and did I mention Mondays off?

Fingers crossed my boss decides everyone should go home early to kick the weekend off right. Fingers crossed, but not holding my breath. I'm not THAT nuts.

i only get the highest quality crooks

Looks like there was "fraudulent behavior" on my debit card - wouldn't that be a great name for a show? - thank you to my bank for finding out about it within two hours. And hilarious that they two purchases were for a whopping $24.38 and $18.33. Guess it could have been a lot worse. Either that, or they checked out my non-impressive bank balance and figured there wasn't much they could buy...

Thursday, September 2, 2010

MJ forevah

Love that I'm going to the Symphony tonight. Love even MORE that it's to hear the music of Michael Jackson. Wonder if we'll be the only people there. Sh'mon.

Happy 9-02-10 day!

Donna Martin graduates!!
I owe it all to Joanna, who made everyone watch this "new show" during a slumber party - and ironically, it was the infamous slumber party episode, as I recall. Ah, 1989.
Then in high school, we would schedule our field hockey team dinners on Wednesday nights to watch Bev 9-er and Melrose Place. Ah, 1994.
Long live Steve Sanders' mullet.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I've got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag

$orry. $lightly ob$e$$ed with Ke$ha. although $he DOE$ look rather dirty. although i think that's what she WANTS you to think. personally, i prefer people to know that i shower. religiously. to each his own.