Monday, April 30, 2012

Can you use it in a sentence?

For the most part, I'm enjoying my new non-Blackberry phone.When I'm texting, it often asks me if I'd like to add the word I just used to the dictionary. Why, yes I would - and thanks for asking!

So far, I have added the following illustrious words:

Preggo (for my pregnant friends)
And next up: Amazeballs, of course

It's very possible I am making my smartphone dumber. One word at a time.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Take THIS to work. (Please)

Today is Take Your Child to Work Day. (Which was once Take Your Daughter to Work Day until the boys got jealous.) Wish we had this when I was growing up - my mom's office wasn't all that interesting (sorry), but my dad could have whisked me off to the French Open or something equally educational. (To be fair, I did get to go to Wimbledon three times.) That's my kind of workforce: wearing tennis shoes, playing outside, having people cheer for you...none of which happens at my current office. Humph.

And now that most of my friends' parents are retired, what would Take Your Child to Work Day entail - lunch at the club and a round of golf or an afternoon at the spa? Which also sounds pretty good.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

MF-ing great

(And that "MF" stands for Modern Family.) Got last minute tickets to a panel featuring the actors who play Cameron, Mitchell and Phil, plus the creator of the show, Steven Levitan. It was pretty great - they all seemed super down-to-earth, talking about how their longest job before Modern Family had been 9 months (8 days for Eric Stonestreet!), etc.

But then we got to go to this VIP party and pose for pictures with the cast. I had diarrhea of the mouth and blurted out something like "Hiyouguysdidsogreatthanksforcomingtodallasokaybye!" in about 5 seconds. Awesome.

But when Eric came out in a black cowboy hat (which he ended up tossing into the crowd at the end of the night), I am not ashamed to admit I might have a new crush. Viva le Cam.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Does it make me un-American

...that I absolutely despise Dancing with the Stars?? I just don't get the hype. These people aren't even stars! And the spray-on tans, the skimpy sequin outfits (okay, that part I can get on board with), the cheesy songs? PASS. I fast-forward through any DWTS mention on the news (okay, on E! News) and in newspapers (okay, US Weekly). Hell - I've got enough shows I'm addicted to already. My DVR doesn't need Urkel doing the cha-cha.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Spanx for the memories

Watched part 3 (!) of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion last night, and to my amazement Kandi's Spanx were showing throughout most of the show.

Atta girl. I guess I have to be impressed that they can't all squeeze into those tight dresses without a little help.  But couldn't a producer have helped a girl out and told her she was being spanked? We gotta leave a little something to the imagination...please...

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Silver lining

I've been working until close to 9pm the last two nights in a row. (Tonight will probably be closer to 11, but who's counting.) And it totally SUCKS. Especially considering the fact that I have to be here by 7:30 in the morning...should probably just pull a Costanza and nap under my desk. (I DO have a Snuggie at work...just sayin'.)

But one good thing about working this late: the traffic going home is non-existent. I seriously think I got home in 15 minutes last night (usually takes closer to 45).

Not that I'm advocating this redonk schedule, mind you. But I had to come up with SOMETHING good about it before I kill myself.

Running fool. Emphasis on the "fool."

Kind of wondering why I signed up to run two 5Ks in a week - and two days apart, no less. Considering I don't run, this should be very interesting. Or hospitalizing.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Here's to 30 more years of good times

Happy bday Kelly! Can't believe we have been friends for 30. Damn. Years. xoxo


As if I needed another show to now semi-obsessed with Duck Dynasty. Saw a promo for it at the movie theater over the weekend so had to see this for myself. And WOW. It's about this family from the Louisiana bayou who own and operate a duck call business. They somehow have attractive wives, but the guys look like, well, the photo above pretty much says it all.

Would have liked to sit at THAT pitch meeting at A&E: "Well, see, there are these bearded brothers? And they wear camo a lot? And they make duck call devices? That could be a show, right??" HA. And good call, A&E brass. It's ducking genius.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Say cheesy!

Ah, Glamour Shots. The epitome of the 80s. SO many poor fashion choices. And poor hair choices. And poor posing choices. (What is UP with the collar flip?!) I never got a Glamour Shot taken (thanks, mom), but a few months ago at Northpark mall, amid all the fancy Versace, Barneys and Prada boutiques, I saw a Glamour Shots. And yes, I was very tempted.

But really, if you can't get a picture like THIS, what's the point:

Thanks to Lee for the fabulous blog idea. I flip my collar to you, sir. :)

Monday, April 16, 2012

Tough Love? ROUGH is more like it

Maybe things DO happen for a reason. I auditioned for the vh1 show "Tough Love" last year and (obviously) did not get cast. (But bonus: I now know how to Skype.)

The first episode aired last night - hoo boy. Methinks I dodged a bullet. These girls are ROUGH.
From a 25-yr-old virgin to a curvy mom of three to a Barbie wannabe, perhaps I wouldn't really have fit in so well. (Or made for interesting reality tv. Which is really the whole point.)

So now I just get to point and laugh like the rest of you. And it's probably better that way - I can certainly dish it out, but can't really take it. :)

Friday, April 13, 2012

Maybe it's a Publisher's Clearing House thing

...but I am semi-obsessed with big checks. Not checks with a bunch of zeros (although I like those too). The big, foam core checks that you get at an awards ceremony or a tournament. I have to print one for a work event, and was so very tempted to print an extra one for myself. Don't doubt that I will at least be taking my picture with it before presenting it to the winner.

It's the little things. Or, in this case, the ridiculously big things.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Work FAIL.

I just found what looks like a dark pubic hair on my desk. Gonna be a great day.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Pocket treasures. Or, I have too many purses.

Love finding money in a jeans pocket. But I also love finding old movie stubs in purse pockets. Like I did this morning - Hangover 2, May 28, 2011. (The movie wasn't great, but it did feature Zach Galifianakis and a monkey, so there's that...)

It's just a fun trip down memory lane. (Although now that I think about it, I'm not positive who I saw it with...apologies if that person is reading this...I'm sure we had a lovely time though...)

Or else it means that I haven't carried this purse in almost a year. Perhaps time to reevaluate the closet situation. (Nah.)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


We have an indoor soccer team at our company - made possible by me (and my corporate credit card). I am basically their sugar mama and foot the bill to let a bunch of guys play. Had never been to a game until last night - they had been asking us to come, we felt bad, so we went. The three of us were practically the only girls in the stands, and I'm sure we completely humiliated our team, doing the wave, cheering, yelling at the ref (okay, that one was all me), etc. (Bonus: no way will they ask us back.)

Our team won (and no, I don't even know what the team name is), and at the end we went over to fist bump and congratulate them. They presented me with a signed soccer ball (above), which was about the cutest thing ever. And so very high school yearbook.

Love being a sugar mama. Especially when I don't actually have to shell out my own money.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Khloe does Dallas

Finally on last night's Khloe and Lamar, they arrive in Dallas. (And the driver kind of steered her wrong - it really doesn't snow in Dallas. Maybe once every few years, and it doesn't stick...but I digress.)

Big Al Mac and the McKinney Avenue Tavern got some airtime (embarrassing, although I do remember seeing that huge "Welcome" banner...). As did REGGIE, our waiter at Christie's, where we watch the Carolina games - nice work, bud! And Private Social, Tiffany Derry's restaurant...and of course the Crescent and the AAC.

Love picking out places I recognize - that was the only thing getting me through Most Eligible Dallas as well. Sad but true.

ADDENDUM: Looks like no mo' Klo in the 21-fo'. Oh well. Semi-fun while it lasted.

Friday, April 6, 2012

What's a "mimi?"

Okay - I know MEME is pronounced "meem," but it would make the same amount of sense to me if it was pronounced "mimi." I don't understand what memes are, and even after my young co-workers sent me hundreds of them to pore over, I still don't get it.

Like, why are so many of them pictures of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka? Or the Dos Equis guy? Or - is that Viggo Mortensen?!

I guess it's possible (and very likely) that I'm just too old to understand. Although I DO understand this one...

Thursday, April 5, 2012

I don't speak RiRi

Somehow the Rihanna song "Cheers" has made it onto the last five CD mixes I have burned. It's not a new song, but I loves it. But until this week, I really had no idea what she was saying. I guess I blame her Barbados accent?

The chorus, as I sang it:

Cheers to the freakin' weekend

I drink to that (yeah yeah)
Oh, let the Jameson sink in (to be fair, only knew she was saying "Jameson" because the video was close-captioned at the gym)

I drink to that (yeah yeah)

Don't let the ????? get you down

Turn it around with another round

There's a party at the bar

Everybody put your glasses up and

I drink to that...

What a positive message, no?

But let's get back to the ????? portion. At first I thought she was saying "bar studs." Which was weird, because why would studs get you down? So then I thought maybe it was "bar stools." But again, I enjoy a bar stool. It's actually having to stand UP at a bar that gets me down.

So finally, this week, I realized she was actually telling you to not let the BASTARDS get you down. Well, that makes much more sense. Thanks RiRi.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Mother Nature is a B.

Ah, Texas. Home of the Alamo, longhorns, big hair, and tornados. 15 of them hit the Dallas area yesterday, making for an exciting day at the office. I was seeing panicked Facebook posts all afternoon, people taking pictures in closets, posting Doppler radar pics, etc. But the storm cell (yep, I listened to the weather) took it's sweet time getting to Plano. The sirens went off, and sweet Floyd the building engineer got on the loudspeaker and told everyone to go downstairs into hallways/stairwells and, I quote, "put yo hands over yo heads." Which will be my new mantra in life.

So we obediently filed down to the first floor and sat. (We did NOT put our hands over our heads. Sorry, Floyd.) No cell service, so I couldn't even check Facebook - I mean, update friends and family of my situation - but sweet Floyd made a few more announcements to at least keep us updated. The one that actually made me nervous said that a tornado had touched down about 6 miles from us, and was headed our way. Um, great. And it was so obvious that I was neither a parent nor a pet owner - my main concern was for my Jeep, parked out in the (uncovered) parking lot. As I said a quick prayer for my own safety, you better believe I added, "...and please no hail damage. Amen."

But nothing ever happened, and we finally got the all clear about an hour later. Watching the news this morning and seeing the images, it's amazing there were no deaths and so few injuries. And no hail damage. Boo-ya.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I swear I'm not Officer, drunk

This morning I went to 7-11 for coffee. The place was empty except for two cops, who were just kind of standing there staring at me. It made me so nervous that I tipped over the first cup. Then accidentally dropped the entire packet of sugar into the coffee, not once, but twice - and had to fish it out. And upon paying for my coffee, I proceeded to drop some of the coins the cashier gave me in change. Good lord. I was actually surprised they didn't follow me to my car and ask me to take a breathalyzer. They probably really enjoy freaking people out like that. I know I would. (If I wasn't so preoccupied with being freaked out myself.)

Monday, April 2, 2012

That'll teach em

By now, my fellow gym-goers know what a raving basketball fan I am. They congratulate me after UNC wins, and console me when they don't. (The guy whose son went to Duke is particularly keen on chatting me up after we lose.) One guy asked me this morning who I liked in the final game tonight - Kansas or Kentucky. I said, "I don't like either one, and I'm not going to watch." Four dudes working out in front of me turned around - who the hell is THIS chick?! - and that pretty much ended the conversation. So there. :)