Friday, November 30, 2012

Save me something in a Medium...

The Neiman Marcus collection at Target opens tomorrow. Which means everything will be sold out by 8:01am. I'm thinking this will be even crazier than the Missoni line, which lasted only a couple of hours. It sucks, too - there's a lot of super cute stuff I would totally buy. I guess there's always eBay.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Come on, Dover

I was beyond excited that My Fair Lady was on last night. I used to watch the HELL out of that movie (a 2-tape set at Blockbuster!). In fact - embarrassing but true - I sang "Loverly" (complete with a sad attempt at a Cockney accent) to audition for the Entertainers, a song-and-dance group in 6th grade. Made the alternates - not too shabby. (What WAS shabby? The fact that our "uniforms" came from Units, that 80s clothing brand where skirts were tube tops were belts. Ah, 1989.)

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

You're fired?

So my dad works as the tennis director for a Ritz club in Florida - which has provided some pretty swanky discounted hotel stays in the past. But as of this Sunday, it's now a Donald Trump establishment - The Donald bought it from the Ritz. Assuming my dad will still have a job, no more discounts at the Ritz. Perhaps I could interest you in a stay at Trump Tower?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Machines: 1, Man: 0.

I think my DVR is smarter than me. I set it to record the "Liz and Dick" Lifetime TV movie starring Lindsay Lohan (no, I don't know why) - and it didn't. It just decided not to record it. And after reading the reviews, I'm certainly glad it didn't. Thanks, DVR, ol' buddy.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Just give the kid the shoes, dammit!

I'm as much a fan of Christmas carols as the next guy, but have to draw the line at "The Christmas Shoes." It's too freaking sad. Every time it comes on (which is often), I have to change it.

Then again, this is coming from a girl who cries when she hears "Puff the Magic Dragon" and "Stewball" (yes, my parents were fans of Peter, Paul and Mary growing up).

Lots of people cry in movies. It takes a rare (emotional) breed to cry at songs. Yay.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

My Thanksgiving gift to you.

This is the best thing ever. And by best, I mean the worst.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Talk about a turkey.

It's all fun and games until you bring a homemade cake for the work potluck and someone points at it and asks, "what IS that?!" Annnnnd no cake for you.

Is that breakfast turkey?

As fun and filling as Thanksgiving work lunches are, the smell of onions and meat at 8am is just not all that appetizing. Ugh.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Gobble gobble. Emphasis on the gobble.

Have the first of three Thanksgiving meals today (well, three if you count actual Thanksgiving). The good news: my stomach will be nice and stretched out by Thursday. The bad news: I will be huge by December.
More good news: I could always play Santa...

Friday, November 16, 2012

Twinkie Twinkie Little Star

Not sure what the big deal is about Hostess going under - don't Twinkies last forever? Go out, by yourself a box, and you're set for life. Done.
If this is just an urban legend and Twinkies do in fact have an expiration date, RUN. DO NOT WALK. BUY A TWINKIE WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

At least ONE person I know is getting this for Christmas.

If not everyone.

And the best part? It's called a BEARDO. Amazeballs.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I just don't get it.,,20315920_20647632,00.html

Maybe because I haven't seen Magic Mike?

The lesser of two evils

Last night my two least favorite teams in college basketball faced each other: Duke v. Kentucky. (Actually, I'm not a fan of Kansas either, but for the sake of this blog let's just go with it.) They both wear the same color blue (ew). They both have uber-creepy coaches. But yet the lure of competition and the greatness of college basketball drew me in and I couldn't stop watching. Love. This. Sport. Even if my MOST hated team won. Sigh.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Spies Like Me

All this Petraeus business reminded me of the time I applied to be in the CIA. Blame it on one too many episodes of Alias, but I decided being a spy (and getting to wear all those wigs!) would be about the coolest thing ever. (Of course, I totally would have ended up with a desk job, but a girl can dream...)

So I applied. And received the application packet in the mail - which of course arrived in a non-descript plain brown envelope and no return address. So secretive!! I was hooked. Somehow I made it to the (phone) interview round, but that's where my CIA dream ended. Probably for the best, since there's no way in HELL I could keep it a secret that I worked there. And they probably knew that.

Monday, November 12, 2012

There are just so many ways to say Ho Ho Ho

Lifetime was airing a Christmas movie marathon this weekend - and since my tree was already up, I figured I would check a few out. And each time, I made it through an hour before having to give up and turn it off. Terrible. Granted, they ARE Lifetime movies. But I think it's more than that. There are simply no more good ideas surrounding holiday films. Writers should just give it up. Just thinking back on some that came out in theaters in the past few years makes me feel grinchy:

Four Christmases
Surviving Christmas
Eight Crazy Nights
Christmas with the Kranks

And yes, I have seen all of these. I guess hoping for another Elf or Christmas Vacation. But why fix it if it ain't broke?

I leave you with one more disaster of a holiday movie: Ernest Saves Christmas. Which I believe I saw in the theater. Sigh.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Doggone it

First of all, why are dogs plus tennis balls so damn entertaining. I could watch Charlie pounce on her ball all day.

And secondly, I think the fact that she lets me pick out her eye boogers means true love. Romantic, no?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

So, this happened last night...

I blame wine. And those Target holiday commercials.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

You win some, you lose some. (On the court)

Regardless of who you voted for, perhaps we can all come together with excitement and enthusiasm around four more years of Barack-etology...

(Romney-tology just doesn't sound the same. Plus I doubt he would pick UNC so often.)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Red. Blue. How about a Purple state?

Election Day. It's finally (almost) over. I took this quiz yesterday - turns out I side with the Green Party (?!). Too bad they're not running this year. It also alerted me to the fact that I know very little about, well, anything. Maybe I should watch something other than the Real Housewives and the Bachelor. (As if that will ever happen.)

Monday, November 5, 2012


WHY are they remaking Red Dawn. What's next - Breakfast Club?? In protest, I'm going to watch the original this week. Take that, filmmakers.

Friday, November 2, 2012

At least I don't have to go to the ATM.

Sad but true: I cashed in my jar of change yesterday and, expecting like $7, was super thrilled to find it was worth $20. It totally made my day. (Hence the "sad" part of "sad but true.")

Thursday, November 1, 2012

A brief PSA.

Just voted. It took all of 5 minutes. Do your civic duty, peeps.