Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
In a nutshell:
*Lots of tats. Esp. of shamrocks.
*A smattering of weird name spellings. "J?"
*Some odd jobs. Manscaper? Funeral director? Model (in Vail)?
*People can comment on the girls' photos (for the first time I can remember). Some comments are harsh, others are just plain awesome.
Let the good times roll January 3! I still predict he picks no one, although he's saying he found love. Maybe with a producer.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Now, a party's a party, and we did get to go home afterwards. Plus I of course left with the gift that keeps on giving, Diane. But still. A little sad.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Little did I know he was being followed today by a very cute resident. Who got to come in and watch the magic happen. So humiliating. Plus I paid a $35 co-pay. To pop a zit. Sigh.
I decided to keep her on my desk and blame things on her - "Oh, Diane Esparza was in charge of that." "Let me connect you to Diane Esparza." "She nodded her head yes, so she's on board." Etc.
She was such a hit at the party that we decided to call the number she listed to compliment her marketing savvy. And...she no longer works there. Perhaps business cards are a better way to go...
But thank you, Diane, wherever you are, for livening up an office holiday party. Stop nodding your head at me.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
10. His cold, icy stare. (This also applies to his embrace and his feet under the covers)
9. He doesn't HAVE feet. Scratch #1. But this is still problematic.
8. That damn corncob pipe. Nasty habit.
7. Tendency to hang out in the buff. A scarf doesn't cut it, bub.
6. When I'm hungry, his carrot nose gets nibbled on. And not in a sexy way.
5. Takes a lot of work to make - er, meet - his friends.
4. No fireside chats.
3. Or s'mores.
2. Or candlelit dinners.
Because, the #1 reason dating a snowman would suck...
1. HE MELTS, people.
They performed for us at a Hockaday assembly once in high school, and let's just say 14 good-looking college dudes in a room of hundreds of girls went over VERY well. They could have just sat up on stage and done absolutely nothing, and we still probably would have given them a standing ovation. All-girls schools are tough, what can I say.
They were also on an episode of "West Wing" back in the day and sang the most amazeballs rendition of O Holy Night. Of course, every time it's a different bunch of dudes - like Menudo, if you will. But they're always super cute and uber talented.
Plus you can use it in a sentence: "Whiffenpoof THIS." (That's what she said. Whatever.)
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
So I downloaded some pics from the last few years onto a CD and I'm making it my mission over the holidays (aka New Years Resolution) to get these bad boys printed out and actually put up somewhere. Of course, my resolution LAST year was to learn how to cook, and that didn't go so well. But a girl can dream.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Long story short(er): without any gift boxes at home, I was forced to wrap one of the shirts in the DVD player box. Which is so mean - he will unwrap it Christmas morning and think his awesome older sister bought him a DVD player for college. Um, no. So I felt obliged to write on the box, "Sorry. This is NOT a DVD player." Talk about ruining it. Oh, well. Here's hoping the Rangers Claw and Antlers tee I actually DID buy him will make up for it...
I'll repeat: DAMN YOU, ZUCKERBERG.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Got sucked into buying a new flavor of Extra gum, Mint Chocolate Chip. The box actually says, "Have your dessert and CHEW it, too!" Oh lord. Now for the review: it's not bad. It's NOT the same as having mint chocolate chip ice cream. But it's not bad. It's weird, though. Seriously - who ARE the ad wizards who came up with this.
Plus watched "Elf" (again) on the plane ride home. Doesn't get much better than that. :)
Friday, December 3, 2010
*Note: perhaps my UNC football rug needs to go. It DOES look rather "college-y" in here...
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sheesh. I mean, it's one thing to get blown off when I know the date isn't going well. But when I think it's a good date...another blow to the ol' ego.
Whatever. Here's to 2011.
Monday, November 29, 2010
And I really can't get enough of "checking in" places. It makes me feel extra-sociable. Which I'm really not. In fact, I might just start typing crap in and pretending like I'm out and about. Create a fake persona, a la Sasha Fierce for Beyonce (?!), who lives out the life I wish I was living. Sarah's at Barcadia! And now she's eating dinner at Hibiscus! And checking in for a Mavs game at the AAC! She can't be stopped! She's...SuperSocial!
Okay, got a little carried away there. But seriously. Stalking opportunities aside, this Facebook Places business is fun. And it will motivate me to go out, simply to check in. I'm not ready to lie to my 750 dear FB friends quite yet. But I'm sure that will come in time. :)
Over Thanksgiving, I dog-sat for two sweet labs, Hank (who we re-named "Moose" b/c he is just gigantic) and Lucy (who we re-named "Black Shadow" b/c that thing is as dark as the night - which I can attest to after tripping over her on the way to the bathroom), and my brother brought his crazy little white fluffy dog, Butters (aka "Squirrel," to go with "Moose"), to complete the menagerie. (The cat, Chico, was barely seen after the arrival of doggie #3 - at least until it was time to cook the turkey. Then we couldn't shake her.)
Some lessons I learned:
1. Dogs like bread. LOAVES of bread.
2. Dogs also like swimming pools. Even when it's 35 degrees outside. (Butters jumped in accidentally when she was being chased by the bigger dogs and simply ran out of room. Turns out, she's an excellent doggie-paddler.)
3. I no longer gag when opening wet cat food. (Yay!)
4. I can clean up litter boxes like a pro. Also, without gagging. (Double yay!)
5. Doggie vomit, however, makes me gag.
Good times all around. Someone get me a fish for Christmas. Because that's about all I can handle. :)
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
- Lindsay Lohan is off the streets
- Modern Family
- The over-abundance of frozen yogurt establishments in Dallas
- I finally own jeans that can be squeezed into boots (it was a long time coming, believe me)
- My new fake hairpiece, even though I can't figure out how to put it in
- "That's what she said" never gets old (and works on the above bullet point)
- I have a job, unlike last year at this time
- The 30+ faithful readers of this ludicrous blog
Monday, November 22, 2010
Still, Whirlyball, 2. Sarah, 0.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Ah, well. Gotta hand it to the Loon, though - that place always attracts random celebs.(Not as many as the Stoneleigh P, but I digress.) I saw Mark Cuban at the Loon once, taking shots. Nice.
UPDATE: Apparently it was Bachelor-mania there last night: Chris, Jeremy, the foot-fetish guy...sad but true people. They all hang out together.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
*Note: I will also not be watching Skating with the Stars. So help me.
Time to crank up the Motley Crue to get psyched. Rad.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Turns out it's 4 tickets to the freaking FOOTBALL game. Cue Debbie Downer music. Although 4 new tires would kind of rock.
Monday, November 15, 2010
I know it's the damn Ritz, but for the love of Pete - it's rum. And Diet Coke. Next time I'm going classypants and bringing it in my purse.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"My Boyfriend is all over me."
"This Boyfriend reeks!"
"I can't get the Boyfriend stank off me."
"My Boyfriend smells awesome."
And the best one...
"Why do you smell like my boyfriend?!"
Good times, people.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Play the drums
Wag her tongue like the dog
Raise up her hands (i.e. raise the roof)
Blink on command
Pattycake, complete with the "roll it" motions
Take out her hair bow
I'm sorry - I can't even do all of these things. WTF. Wonder if I could hit a Gymboree class without a baby. Just to re-learn the basics.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
My personal "favorite" was one titled "Encouraging Ladies in the Variety of Aspects of Homemaking and Fulfilling Their God-Given Calling." Alrighty then. I will counter that with my random daily musings. That's MY God-given calling. Ha.
And the worst/best part is, no one ever notices. Which is good, because it's supposed to look natural. But it's also bad, because COME ON PEOPLE. THREE HOURS. Which I can never get back. At least I get to catch up on Life & Style magazine.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Next, she needs to place a call to Timberlake to kick off my dream of an NSYNC reunion tour. I'll wait...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
But I knew there had to be others. Thank god for Google.
I give you: other athletes with horrific names...
And, my personal favorite, from the Korean World Classic baseball team (hey - it still counts): Bum Ho Lee. Put the middle and last names together...greatness.
So here's what I propose: make interchangeable gun handles that can be snapped on and off to go with different clothes. You could have a denim one, a leather one, a pink rhinestone-covered one...the options are endless. Remember those Kaepa shoes in the 80s? You could snap the colored triangles in and out? That's kind of what I'm talking about - but in a deadly weapon format.
All I need is a prototype, and I swear at least in Texas girls would scoop them up. Coming up with a name is the hard part. "Girlie Guns" sounds dumb. "Pistol Poppers" sounds like some sort of ice cream treat. I'll keep thinking about it. Nobody steal my idea.
And btw - Panera offers free wi-fi, job seekers. I speak from experience.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
He allegedly had an affair with Miley Cyrus' mom, causing Billy Ray to file for divorce?! Although gotta give the woman credit. I'd go with Bret over Achy Breaky any day of the week. Maybe he could blame the meds after his health scare(s), although I don't think the timing is quite right. Thing is, he'll be fine. Because he's a rock star. Double standard mania. And I like it.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Saw a Christmas commercial this morning on TV. And I'm sure 103.7 Lite FM (aka KVIL) will start playing all-holiday-music, all-the-time any day now. Can we at least wait until after Thanksgiving?
No? Alright. I have been wanting to watch Elf lately...if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Friday, October 29, 2010
The latest: carry around a giant bunch of red balloons and be "99 Red Balloons." (or "Luftballoon," for our German friends.)
Seriously folks. I need more to do at work.
Also looking forward to counting how many Snookies and Situations I run into tomorrow night. Plus Antoine Dodson (the "hide yo' kids" guy). As a kid, I never dressed as the "it" thing. I remember in third grade, the cool girl in school was Boy George. And I was in a biker gang along with the rest of my family. Yep.
Then in high school, we were only allowed to dress up senior year. And did I look cute and sassy? No sir. (Of course, it was all girls, so who really cared anyway) Went with an all green unitard and flippers...Kermit the Frog. Flippers are ridiculously hard to walk in, btw. We even cut a ping pong ball in half and sewed it to a green knit cap for the eyes. Good times.
Chapel Hill really did Halloween right. Franklin Street was totally blocked off and it was just sheer mayhem. But senior year I had to work (Chili's. Nice.) and remember getting pulled over for speeding on the way home. Dressed in a ballerina costume. I knew the cop thought I had been drinking and was PRAYING I wouldn't have to get out and walk the line in my tutu. Luckily he saw my Chili's apron on the front seat and was apparently a fan of the Awesome Blossom because he let me go. Phew.
Viva Halloween 2010. One of these years I'll get too old for this shiz, but this year isn't it. :)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
But the latest version of 16 and Pregnant? Sheesh. The girl from Mansfield who races cars, owns goats, and plans on living in a barn with her new hubby? Nice. Really making Texas look good, sweetie. And why is she getting the IUD after the baby was born? Shouldn't this have been a discussion a year ago?
Sigh...(and yet of course I will keep watching.)
For being such a girly-girl, I sure am dude-like when it comes to beauty and hair products. Although I do love me some glitter eyeshadow. So maybe I'm more like a tranny.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
"Face!" was a retort I remember from like 3rd grade. And of course "Doy," which I am still trying to bring back (with very little success, I might add). And the ever-annoying "I know you are but what am I?" (Thanks, PeeWee, for really bringing this one to the forefront.)
Drawing a blank but I'm sure there are many, many more...
So I knew they were remaking Footloose. (Why god why) But for some reason I thought that meant they would be placing it in a modern-day setting - like a Footloose for today's generation. But judging by the photo above, it looks like they are LITERALLY remaking Footloose. (Again, why god why) This could be super-lame. And if they're going to be so literal, they better include my two favorite lines:
"My daddy HATES me wearing these boots!"
"You ever get busted for boppin'?"
Might have to pop that bad boy in over the weekend. In all its VHS glory.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Redonkulous with a capital "R."
Also debating going to a Speed Dating event with some friends. If nothing else, think of the blog fodder.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Or I could do what I've done to old Dook t-shirts that I've had made and are no longer relevant - "retire" them by hanging them on the wall. If the Rangers win it all, consider this jersey retired.