Is the CDC hiring?

My job has become crafting daily Coronavirus updates. Most of our Asia offices are working from home, and people are panicking about travel and the new threat in Europe...

#pleaseletmeworkfromhome
#forever

Sounds from the backseat

Yesterday, driving Georgie to school: "mama, I got a booger! It's really, really green."

Annnnnd scene.

Spring Break - woohoo!

Ah, spring break. A time of debauchery and drunkenness, of tequila and tan lines. Unless you're a parent of babies. I am taking the week of Georgie's spring break off, and briefly considered a trip to Florida. But the logistics and fear of undertow and skin cancer convinced me otherwise, so I'm afraid our spring break week looks like this:

• Zoo
• Crayola Experience
• Peppa Pig Experience
• Camp Stores
• Arboretum 
• Me needing a vacation after this vacation

Maybe I'll buy a Carlos and Charlie's t-shirt just to feel like I could be fun again, someday. But I will probably buy a onesie because it's funnier for the baby to wear it.

Channeling Dark Helmet

So little Beau has a flat spot on one side of his head. He prefers one side to the other, so for the past month I've been trying to get him to use the other side to balance things out. We have another month before we go back to the doctor, but I'm assuming he will say the dreaded words: He needs a helmet.

Now, I get that you don't want to have a misshapen head. And it's probably tougher for boys because someday they could be bald and really look like a weirdo. But I'm really wavering on whether or not we should move forward (assuming we have to). 

• His would probably have to be worn all summer, when it's brutally hot in Texas. I can't even imagine how sweaty/stinky/uncomfortable that would be.
• He has to wear it for 23 hours a day, and only take it off to get a bath and clean the helmet with rubbing alcohol (?!).
• I have been reading about babies getting rashes and scabs from the helmets, which just sounds awful.
•  There are bi-weekly, sometimes weekly, appointments to get the helmet shaved down as his head grows. 
• Did I mention it's typically not covered by insurance and can cost up to $4000?

On the plus side, you can get it to look like this:

BB8!! I mean maybe.

whatever

Whenever I sigh or curse (which I'm trying to get better about) or honk my horn, etc., Georgie asks "what the MATTER, mama?" When she wanders into the room, she asks "what you DOING, mama?" And now when I talk for like 10 minutes to her about something, she says "what you TALKING about, mama?" So clearly she wasn't listening. A preview of what's to come, I'm sure.

Side bar: yesterday on the way to school she wanted to get out of her car seat. I told her it was against the law (?) and we could go to jail. She then wanted me to talk for the next 30 minutes about jail. (Literally kept saying "more?" "more?") I ran out of things that I knew about jail in about 3 minutes. Which I guess is a good thing. Until she asked again that night and I said, "who goes to jail, Georgie?" Hoping she would say "bad guys." She said "Georgie."

Let's hope THAT's not a preview of what's to come...

Just because

Why does it always have to be the car

Georgie has had three major barfs in her young life, and all of them have taken place in the car. Once in my mom's and twice in mine. And it's pretty terrible.

1. She starts crying and choking and I have to find someplace to safely pull over so I can get out and clean her up/comfort her.
2. Yesterday she was looking at my phone at the time, so she barfed on my phone as well.
3. The car seat is a beat down to get in and out on a good day, so add in that it's covered in puke and stinks to high heaven...it's also a total beat down to clean. I had to bust out the Q-tips yesterday.
4. The car stinks for quite some time afterwards as well. And it's a little cold to drive with the windows down.

She did also puke on me and then all over the bathroom yesterday - but then was fine. I'm proud that my own gag reflex seems to be under control, as I normally probably would have thrown up too. So all in all, yay parenthood!

When push comes to shove

So Georgie is still pushing her classmates. And her teachers can't send her to time out anymore because it's basically a chair by the window, and she likes it. So last week she got sent to the "principal's office"  - which still didn't phase her. I scheduled my first parent-teacher conference yesterday, and her teachers were so kind and basically talked me off the ledge because I was convinced I was raising a sociopath who was going to get kicked out of mother's day out. Turns out she's "just two" - but next year could be a different story. Bless the teachers next year...

Oh, my aching back

Bought one of these recently:

Thought it would be a great way to tote Georgie around instead of the stroller, since she always wants to get out and I have to unbuckle her, pick her up and then buckle her back in. Figured the zoo would be the perfect time to test it out. (After seeing me attempt to get it on, my mom insisted on coming along.)

Turns out either I am not as in shape as I thought I was (duh) or I'm getting old (also duh) - because after about 10 minutes I wanted to die. Now Georgie weighs around 30 pounds, but that's less than I gained with Beau and I didn't have that much trouble...I made it about an hour before we decided to call it. The shooting pain in my shoulders and the numbness in my arms was slightly concerning. Somehow I am not as sore as I thought I would be, but not sure when I will have the guts to use that thing again...maybe for short walks around the backyard?

 

Stockton, party of three

So I honestly wasn't sure about having baby #2 - no way would I be able to love him as much as I love Georgie. (Plus no way can I afford it, but that's neither here nor there) But MAN this baby boy. So obsessed with him! My mom described it best: he is my heart and she is my soul. 

But the struggle - and the mom guilt - is real. Georgie is very demanding and physical and vocal, so she gets my attention. And then poor little meatball just hangs out, grinning when someone finally notices him over there. I have to hope this is semi normal and people wouldn't keep having kids if it didn't end up okay, but sheesh. Poor little butterball. I may just have him sleep in my room until he's 5. Yay guilt!

Miss Bachelor 2020

Is it just me, or is the new requirement that in order to get on the Bachelor you have to have competed in a major beauty pageant? There are like three girls from Miss USA and another who competed in Miss Teen USA...gag. (No offense to the pageant world)

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

I really only watch the Oscars (aka the red carpet special) to see what everyone is wearing. I rarely see the movies that are nominated (especially not now with two little kids), so it just kind of goes over my head. But I happened to catch the Eminem performance last night, along with the Idina Menzel/global Elsas - so awesome! Made me dust off my Eminem music and have a little session in the car this morning. So angry. So great.

(And I DO want to see Parasite...)

Blood on my hands. Literally.

So. This is not paint on little Beau's onesie. No, it is blood. HIS blood. From his thumb. Where I attempted to cut his tiny fingernail.

A. Who knew a thumb could bleed so much
B. Never again, friends. He can just look like this for all I care.

Chatty Kathy

Georgie talks a mile a minute. Still can't understand some of the stuff she says, but man she's funny. Some recent quotes:

"I sorry - it my fault" (probably what she says the most)
"I be 2." (truth)
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 18, 17, 14!" (Counting to 20. And she loves clocks - thinks it's always 8:00, bedtime. Although her bedtime is usually around 7)
"Youtune?" "How's about Peppa Pig?" "How's about Daniel Tiger?" "How's about Fwozen?"
"I need a apple for my mouth." (when she's hungry)
"2 crummy bears?" "Baby oreos?" (no, she doesn't eat very well)
"You came back!" (every day when I come home from work)
"I fine. I sorry." (after she falls down for the 1000th time)


And then last night "I miss you so much mama." MY HEART

She's just Jenny from the block

Call me crazy, but I wasn't offended by the halftime show - I found it entertaining, even empowering. And frankly inspiring. To look like that at 50?! Yes please.

Membership has its privileges

My brother and my nephew were in town this weekend, so we took the kids to the Perot Museum (Beau stayed home with my mom). We got there at 9, since that's when Google said they opened, but apparently they only open at 9 for members. The peons have to wait another hour. Which I wasn't about to do with two toddlers. So I sucked it up and joined. However, the computer crashed twice while trying to set me up and they finally gave up and gave us free parking and let us in early. I still might join, but certainly enjoyed the perks without the price...

Of course poor Georgie just wants to go to the damn zoo and kept asking where the elephants and giraffes were. (We ARE members of the zoo, thank god)