Vicious cycle

I'm back on eHarmony (go ahead - someone slap me in the face. I am begging you.), and it's fairly tragic (per usual). Every "match" comes with a disclaimer - "This person is a great match who just happens to be slightly outside of your settings." Which means NOT what I'm looking for. Which means shorter than me. Or older than 47. Or living more than 30 miles away (which is honestly even too far - I prefer a 10-mile radius, but they won't let you go that low, dangit.). Awesome. Trying to be open-minded here, but I'm not holding my breath for a love connection. But so help me - if I fall for a 5'6" 50-year-old who lives in Memphis, SLAP ME ACROSS THE FACE. For reals this time.